Shadowed Veil
by Delano
Summary: COMPLETE! Sirius passes through the veil, and suddenly finds himself reunited with his oldest and dearest friend:James Potter. As touched as he is by the reunion, James,realizes that Sirius still has things he needs to finish. post OoP, pre HBP
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I am not, nor have ever been, J.K. Rowling, not that it wouldn't be nice. I don't any any of her characters, ect. You know the drill...

A/n: this is _my_ version of what happened to Sirius after he passed through the veil. Note that the word 'my' is italicized, wherefore making it important, because it is. Since this is my(there's that word again) version, it happens to have my veiws about Sirius, the veil and other things that you may or may not agree with. This is the beauty of it. You see, I feel that I have to add this, because I happen to be one of those oh-so-wonderful people that think that we have not seen the last of Sirius Black in the books, and because of this (believe it or not) when I try to explain my point, a lot of people get offended and yell at me...So, if you don't think that you're going to like what I've written, because I retain hope that Sirius may yet be alive, then read no further (unless it really floats your boat). I have no wish to recieve reveiws about how stupid I am for thinking that Sirius is alive and how you hated it because of that. It's not nice, and it's not like I'm forcing you to read this. However, if you don't share my veiws, but think that you can remain civil in a reveiw, by all means, go ahead. So, now that I've frightened most of you off, the rest of you can read. Head me no further. Enjoi...

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"He's coming through! He's coming through!"

A once-handsome man with long black hair suddenly appeared through the veil. His back arched gracefully as he fell through, a look on his face that was somewhere torn between shock and bitter amusement. He seemed to take an age to fall, giving James enough time to rush forward and catch his old friend before he hit the ground. James stumbled a bit under the sudden weight, though Sirius was still considerably underweight; with a sad look he stared into his friend's face. This was not how he wanted them to reunite.

"He's stunned Lily, but very much alive. We need to get him back to our place...before anyone realizes what's happened," James said, turning to his beloved wife. He made to adjust Sirius into a more comfortable position, to get him out of the building, but paused as he heard voices through the veil.

"SIRIUS! SIRIUS!"

"...Nothing...do, Harry"

"Get...save...only... through"

"...too late..."

"We... still...him..."

"There's...you can...nothing....gone."

"...Hasn't... 's...d–"

"NOT...DEAD!"

James froze. He knew those voices. His son's and Remus's. They were so close; just beyond the veil...just on the other side. James felt the desire to bolt through the veil, to be with his friend and comfort his son. He lost all sense of what was happening. He hardly even realized that he still held Sirius in his arms. James stood entranced by the voices and the veil as it fluttered lightly, as if there were a gentle breeze in the room where he stood. People he cared about where just on the other side if the veil. They were so close. He started to tremble lightly as he checked the urge to run straight through the veil. Lily, who had been aware of what was going through her husband's mind, walked behind him and gently rubbed his back, calling him back to reality.

"Take him home, honey. Get Sirius out of here before anyone realizes what's happened," she whispered gently. "I'll follow in a minute or so."

James slowly tore his vision away from the veil, and stared into Lily's pure green eyes. His son had the same eyes. They were what had first attracted James to Lily. Everyone has a feature that they focus on when it comes to the opposite sex; for James it had always been eyes. He had never seen eyes quite that green, quite that passionate and understanding, quite that infinitely beautiful. Even now, they seemed to tell him that everything was going to be fine. Slowly he nodded, and after moving Sirius so the his left arm was wrapped around his shoulder, he apparated with Sirius back to his home in Godric's Hallow.

James reappeared in the guest room of his home, the room where Sirius or Remus normally stayed when they visited. The room was decorated just as it was when they had died in 1981. The walls were still painted blue; Sirius's prized leather jacket (which he had never trusted to be left in his own apartment) still hung in the closet; the room was still decorated with a mixture of Remus's things and Sirius's things, as though it was expected that one of the two would show up at any moment. James laid Sirius down on the queen sized bed, and took a good look at him.

"He's changed," he muttered. "A lot."

"Of course he's changed, James. It's been fourteen years, twelve of which he spent in Azkaban," Lily said from the doorway, having apparated in a few moments before. "You really can't expect to be the same man that he was when we died."

"I know. It's just, well, seeing him here...it brings back a lot of memories, ya know?" he said quietly, turning to look at his wife.

Lily nodded, understanding what her husband meant. "Well, aren't you going to wake him up?" she asked, somewhat teasingly.

"Oh, right." He turned back to Sirius and pulled his wand out of his back-pocket. "Ennervate."

Sirius's eyes fluttered open and then he closed them again and rolled over, apparently asleep.

"Figures," James muttered under his breath.

"Come on. Let's let him get some sleep, James. When he wakes up, he'll know where to find us," Lily said lightly.

"But what if he doesn't wake up?" he asked as they left the room and headed down-stairs. "I mean, I don't know of anyone who's ever gone through the veil and been alive when they came through on this end. What if he's as dead on this side as we are on the other side?"

"James, he'll be fine. He's just sleeping this off."

"But what if–"

"Have a little faith, honey. Sirius is strong, he'll be fine. You, meanwhile, should make yourself useful, instead of speculating about things that obviously aren't going to happen," Lily said, hoping to get her husband's mind off the fact that Sirius might not wake up.

"You're right," he said with a sigh. Before he got married, those were words that were hardly ever heard out of his mouth. Now, after being with Lily for sixteen years, it was a phrase that was repeated often enough to his wife.

Lily headed to the living room, while James retreated to his study. When he died fourteen years ago, he had devoted much of his time to learning about things that he had never bothered to learn while he was alive. One of his main focuses was on the veil that was hidden in the depths of the Department of Mysteries. He knew, though he would never really admit it to anyone, that if there was any chance of communicating with the 'living world', this was it. Lily speculated that it was the reason why the veil intrigued him as much as it did, but never mentioned it.

After their death, James had become rather depressed and lonely. Don't get me wrong, he was still very much in love with Lily, and treasured her company (as well as her in general). And he wasn't ashamed that he was dead; he died defending the ones he loved. To him there was nothing greater than that. But he had left behind those who he considered family; an more importantly, he left them in a mess that only he or Lily could really clear up. He couldn't stand to think of Sirius, who would have never betrayed James and his young family to Voldemort, stuck in Azkaban, or of Remus, who had just lost his three best friends, and was living with false ideas of Sirius and Peter, or of Peter; as much as James was pained because of what Peter did to them, he still felt that he needed to talk with Peter, figure out how all of this had happened. He felt helpless. Unable to affect anything outside their world, and it was driving him mad. For the first year after his death, James didn't do much other than brood about his past and the life he left behind. It wasn't good for him, and Lily knew, and forced him to talk one evening. It cleared a lot of things up, put things in perspective, and started James's personal quest for knowledge. Because of this, amongst a fairly long list of other reasons, young Mr. and Mrs. Potter decided to wait before really moving on to heaven (or whatever awaited them).

That's all they were doing, really. Waiting. After dying, they were first faced with the choice of staying dead, or becoming ghosts. They already knew the answer to that; becoming a ghost would have made them worse off, because eventually, the ones they cared about would die as well, and who knew what they were going to do. With that question answered, they were taken here. It was a sort of parallel dimension to the one on Earth. In fact, it was, technically, _on_ Earth, just not in the same sense. Everything that existed on the Earth that you know, exists here as well, with the exception of ghosts and people who are still alive. James and Lily found their house in the same place (although now it was not destroyed). It was as though nothing really happened, and they were still alive. Everyone here is as alive here, as people who are alive on Earth are alive there. They're not transparent or incorporeal; they have control over their surroundings; they even had government systems.

Here people wait. For what depends on the person and the situation. Some wait until they come to terms with their own death. Some wait for loved ones, so they have someone to welcome them. Some wait for old enemies to try and make amends. And some aren't exactly waiting, but searching. Searching for what, though? For some it's truth, for others it love, and for some it's knowledge that drives them to stay here. They stay here for as long as they feel is necessary, before they move on to whatever fate awaits them. For James, he was trying to gain more knowledge of the mysteries of the world, as well as wait for the ones he loved. What he really wanted, however, was to somehow figure out how to communicate with those who were still alive.

He wanted to be able to tell his son that he was proud of him, that he couldn't have been more proud of the things he's done. He wanted to tell Harry to trust his friends, even if there is a chance that they might betray him, and to always stand for what he knows is right. He wanted to tell Harry the types of things a father is supposed to tell his son. And because of his quest to somehow link the two worlds, the ministry that exists here found him to be quite troublesome. He was often caught looking into things that he was not supposed to look into. He was forever suddenly 'finding' himself in the Department of Mysteries. His little habits had gotten him arrested five times and he had spent a total of three weeks in their Azkaban. His crime record was the reason that he had to get Sirius out of the Death Chamber as soon as he could. It wouldn't take long before the ministry would realize someone came through, and James had little desire to be found in there with Sirius's body.

Sirius... James still wondered if he was even somewhat the same person that he had been at age twenty-two before he had been taken to Azkaban. There was no way that he could know until his old friend woke up, and he had no idea how long that was going to take. Sighing, he spun the chair in his study around so that it faced his tall, looming bookshelf that was packed with so many books, it would have made Remus (always the intellectual in their group of friends) proud He scanned the shelves for a moment, then pulled an ancient book about the veil off the shelf. He flipped it open and began to read, occupying his mind something as he waited for Sirius to rouse.

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a/n: Thank you for reading, and I hoped you liked it. Next chap: Sirius wakes up, and kinda realizes whats going on (more or less). Reveiws are welcome, and greatly appreciated, so is _constructive_(see? more italicized important words) critcism (please, spare my poor ego nd no flames). Leave your review at the beep.....................................................................................

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	2. Chapter 2

disclaimer: see previous chapter...it still hasn't changed

a/n: thank you so much for those of you that reviewed, and for those of you who read, and enjoied, but didn't bother to review...I'm trying to update this as soon as I can, but it takes a bit...anyway, enjoi

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Sirius lay on the bed. His mind was fogged over, and he couldn't remember what was happening. He opened his eyes briefly and was confronted with darkness. He was cold...unreasonably cold, or so he thought. He was sore, and it hurt to even try and move. And he couldn't think. He tried desperately to remember where he was, but he couldn't piece it together. The Ministry of Magic was the one thing that kept coming to his mind, but he couldn't figure out why. An idea hit him suddenly, and instantly filled him with dread. Azkaban. If he had been caught, they would have taken him to the Ministry first, and then shipped him away again, just like they had fourteen years ago. It explained why he was so cold, and why everything was dark. Sirius's breathing became quick and shallow; he didn't want to be back here. It had almost cost him his life to escape once, he wasn't going to be able to try it again.

"No," me muttered to himself, his voice trembling. "No. Not again. Not now. Harry...I've got to help Harry."

With a valiant effort, he pushed himself up and opened his eyes. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust, but when they did, it wasn't to what he had expected to see. He was probably in the furthest place from Azkaban. He was in James's place. _How on Earth did I get here? _he thought to himself. The room was exactly the same as he had last left it. The picture of him, James, Remus, and Peter still stood on the night stand; posters of Remus's favorite quidditch team still hung on the wall. A picture of the four of them at James's wedding still hung in a frame near the door, as did a picture of them on graduation. He didn't understand. How could all of this still be here? Their home was destroyed when Voldemort attacked. Sirius massaged the sides of his head with his hands. He didn't understand how. He heard music float up through the air vents. It took him a minute, but he recognized it soon enough. _Is this the real life, is this just fantasy. Caught in a landslide_, _no escape from reality. Open your eyes, look up to the sky and see. _Queen. It was not the first time he had woken up to hear the muggle band playing. It was Lily's favorite, if he remembered correctly. Straining his ear a little harder, he could hear her singing along. She had a beautiful voice.

Another thought hit him, just as hard as the first one had. He was in Lily and James's home, which had been destroyed years ago.Lily was singing downstairs when she had been dead for just as long. Was it possible that they were still alive, and everything had been just the workings of his mind? Strange things like this had happened to him before, especially if he had gotten drunk (which he did, occasionally. Mostly only when he was depressed).He had once woken up thinking that he was still living with his parents; it wouldn't have been the first time that his drunken mind had come up with another alternate reality. The only explanation that he could come up with was the he was dead. And that couldn't be possible, could it? Surely he would have remembered he had died.

He had to find out for himself.Slowly, he dragged his aching body from the bed. His mind raced as he headed down the stairs. He tried not to get his hopes up too much. He couldn't believe that it was all a dream. He couldn't have imagined 12 years of Hell in Azkaban, and remember it all so clearly.He stood at the foot of the stairs, looking into the kitchen. Lily had her back to him and was still singing. He had forgotten how pretty she was, with her long red hair, her bright green eyes, and her small frame. As if she had felt his presence, she spun around and saw him watching her.

"Sirius. It's about time you woke up. You've been worrying James into a coma," she said kindly with a smile.

"Lily," he said quietly. "I don't understand. What's happened? What's going on?"

"James wants to be the one to tell you; we discussed it earlier during the day."

"How...how long have I been here?" he asked.

"We brought you here around4 or 5 in the morning, and you've been sleeping all day," was her reply. "And it's honestly about time that you woke up. As I said, James is practically ripping his hair out over you."

"Lily, can you answer me this one thing, though. Am I dead?"

"No, Sirius, you're not dead. James and I still are, but you are as alive as you can get."

He was about to ask what she meant by "and alive as you can get" but the words stopped dead in his mouth as he looked up into the doorway that led to the living room. James stood there, frozen, staring at Sirius in disbelief. Thoughts ran quickly through both men's heads, yet neither of them could find anything to say. Sirius's eyes had stared to well with tears, and he hardly noticed that James's were doing that same. Fourteen years. Fourteen long miserable years, for both of them. That's how long it had been. It had been less than two decades, but felt like an eternity. But now, now they were together again. Without words, both strode to the middle of the room and greeted each other with a firm embrace.

Lily leaned up against the counter and smiled. They were like brothers, those two. And now, as they reunited in the middle of her kitchen, she couldn't help but start to tear up as well. She had always known that James was somehow different when Sirius wasn't around. He had seemed to be missing a part of himself, and now that part was back.

Sirius and James pulled themselves away from each other and sized the other up. James looked exactly the same: untidy black hair, standing up in all directions, he still wore what Sirius had claimed were the dorkiest glasses known to man kind, he was still skinny but he was definitely taller than his son by at least three or four inches. People had always remarked how much harry looked like James, and Sirius had to admit (again) that they were right. Sirius had changed a great deal since James had last seen him. Azkaban had ruined his looks, no doubt about that. He hardly looked like the same person, except when he smiled. When he did, it sort of broke through the mask of a face Azkaban had created for him and you could see the real him again.

After enduring a good five minutes of silence, Lily kicked, or rather nudged with her foot, her husband behind his knee prompting him to speak.

"Sirius," he said quietly. That was all he could manage to say for a moment. He took a deep breath, and tried unsuccessfully to regain his composure."How...how are you, mate?"Instantly he thought to himself how stupid a question it was. He hadn't seen his best friend in fourteen years, and all he could ask was "How are you?" Pathetic.

"I...I'm...I'm confused...really, really confused."

"Confused like how? Like confused in potions, when you didn't posses enough skill to read the directions in order, and screwed it up? Or like when Lily finally agreed to go out with me confused?" James asked.

Sirius cracked a grin. Trust James to bring up stupid times like that at a time like this. "A mix of the two, but leaning more towards the confused-in-potions-confused."

"I see," he muttered in a manner like a psychiatrist.

"Got any answers for me?"

"Got any questions?"

"Yeah...where am I?"

"You're, well, you're in a sort of alternate reality, composed of wholly out of dead people," James said bluntly.

"Huh?"

James chuckled. "My thoughts exactly. When people died, they're first offered the choice of staying dead, or becoming a ghost. Once their choice is made, they either go back to Earth as a ghost, or come here."

"Is this heaven or something?" Sirius asked. James was one of the few people who he didn't mind asking questions that might sound stupid to. He knew James had probably wondered the same thing at one time, and would therefore know the answer.

"I wish. It's kind of like a waiting place, between Earth and heaven or hell. You can stay here as long as you like, until you're ready to move on."

"Oh, alright. But how'd I–"

"Get here?" Lily responded. "You fell through the veil, in the Department of Mysteries. Don't you remember?"

Sirius thought for a moment. Slowly, images started to return to his mind. He and Bellatrix in the Death Chamber, dueling with each other. He had taunted her, letting his pride get in the way fo his better judgement. He had felt rejuvenated there. It had been so long since he could do anything really useful. He had forgotten how proud his cousin had always been, and how Azkaban probably had left her a bit unbalanced. He had been momentarily distracted by the sudden quiet that had overcome the room, and hadn't had the time to dodge Bellatrix's stunning spell. And then he went through. He could vaguely remember a falling sensation, but he could have dreamed it up, seeing as how he was unconscious at the time.

"So, am I dead?" he asked, still trying to make sense of all this.

"No. You were stunned, and the veil didn't kill you. This is going to sound really strange to you, but hear me out," James said. "In all other recorded cases of people falling through the veil, they've always been dead by the time they come through this end, and it normally takes them a day or two to get here. You, you're still alive, Padfoot, and you came through on this end simultaneously with when you fell in on the other side. I'm not sure why, but I think that it might actually have something to do with the fact that you were unconscious when you fell through. Everyone else wasn't."

"So what happens to me? I mean, I can't stay here forever, not that it would be a terrible thing, but I feel like an old man next to you James," he claimed with his bark-like laugh.

"Well, for the time being, you're stuck here, old man," James said, smiling broadly. "Think of it as a vacation from Grimmauld Place. Glory knows you need it."

"How'd you know that we were using that as headquarters?"

"It's really cool, if we want information about the living world, all we have to do is go down to the Ministry, and look up stuff in the Living Being Department. It's incredibly convenient. they have everything down in there. I'm sure that if I wanted to, I could find out what Voldemort does in his spare time when he's not trying to kill everyone. He probably watches American muggle soap operas," he said. It was indescribably fun to poke fun at Voldemort. And as one of his victims, James felt fully entitled to that right.

"Wait, you guys have a Ministry here?"

"Unfortunately. I mean what harm can a bunch of dead people cause?"

"When that dead person it you, James, a lot," Lily teased.

"But that doesn't make any sense. There can't be that many of you, can there?" Sirius asked.

"There's a lot more than you'd think, actually. I mean, millions of people die everyday, and most of them don't leave immediately. Others stay here for a long time, waiting for loved ones to come and join them, who in turn, wait for their loved ones to join them, etc. Other people stay here until they find what they're looking for, and others stay here simply because they're too prideful to admit their dead. And who're are the most prideful people you'll ever meet? Politicians. Honestly, they stay here forever, forming an over-structured government and forever stopping me, and others, from doing what we would like to. It's a pain, really."

"So in other words, there's an insane amount of people here just passing time, simply because they have nothing better to do?"

"Precisely."

"How much trouble do you think we can cause these ego-maniac politicians?" Sirius asked with a wry smile.

"More than our share, most definitely."

"You two aren't doing anything for the next week," Lily said. "I want to catch up with Sirius before the two of you go off and get yourself arrested multiple times."

"Yes Mrs. Potter," Sirius said, as though he were talking to James's mother, rather than his wife.

"How about some dinner, then, if we can't go off and terrorize the Ministry?"

"Sure."

"Will there be chocolate cake?" Sirius asked hopefully. He would kill for Lily's chocolate cake.

She laughed. "There'll be cake."

"Nice."

Laughing amongst themselves, Sirius and James helped Lily to make the first dinner they'd share in years.

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a/n: please review...ty....


	3. Author's Note not an actual chap sorry

**I know, I know, I'm not supposed to post an author's not as a chapter, but this really needs to get said...so sue me, alright? Well, actually, don't...I don't have enough time to be sued right now...**

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Dear my beloved (and much, much, much, much ((did I mention much?)) appreciated) readers,

I can see you all right now glaring at me, sharpening knives or something with which to brutally kill me for not getting a new chapter up. So, here I am, explaining myself. OK, first, I would like to put the blame upon my teachers, who seem to like to give me a whole bunch of projects, all of which are very lengthy and time consuming, all around the same time (a special shout out goes to the nazi band directors at my school and their lousy playing/chair test _cringes visibly_). I would also like to blame the Speech Team, because I have practices every Monday and Thursday, and it seems to take a lot of time, plus there are always competitions on Saturday, but those are fun, so I won't mention that...wait, I just did...now I'm all confused. Oh, and I've had really bad health recently, and felt completely miserable...not exactly the prime mood to write in, unless you want to get frustrated, because it sounds so horrible.

Ok, enough of blaming other people and situations. I must say, a lot of it is my fault as well, and I openly admit it. But I have been trying to get more of this story written, mind you. I've even been bringing my floppy disk to study hall in hopes that I might get inspiration at school and be able to get something written (finally, might I add ((whoops, nearly spelled ass right there..._mumbles_ stupid d and s have to be right next to each other))). Alas, it isn't meant to be, though. It seems that I have the worst case of writer's block known to man kind. I just can't...think...My steady flow of ideas has suddenly stopped, and its driving me mad.

Now, as a way to make it up to you guys (though this may not do the trick, I know) I had a small idea. I would absolutely love it if you could send me your suggestions of what you'd like to see happen next in the story. I ask you to do this for several reasons. One: I need a ideas and inspiration...a lot. Two: You all seem like a creative bunch, and I honestly want to hear what you think should happen. Three: When I really like a book/ff, I always want to see it go the way I want it too, but it hardly ever does. Maybe you're the same way, I don't know. Four: I really really really need ideas. Five: I need to get more of this story written before I get brutally murdered in my sleep by crazed flesh-eating ducks (sorry, got a bit carried away there). Six: Well, actually, there is no six, I lied.

So please, I beg of you, help me out of my own pit of despair. It's killing me not to get this done...arggg(thats a growl of frustration, in case you couldn't tell...it's not to be confused with the sound of a dying giraffe). Send in your ideas and suggestions for me please. It's be really nice if you could get as many possible to me before Thanksgiving, because I'll be traveling, and I'll need something to do. All in all, and I know this is a very round-about way of saying this, but I'm really truly sorry, and I need help.

Thank for understanding (or not understanding, as the case may be),

Delano


	4. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone, I'm back with the real chapter three...not the fake one that I used as an author's note awhile back. Good news: My writer's block is gone (or at least its pretending to be) and I plan on having the mervelous chapter 4 up with in the next to weeks, but don't take my word on it. Had news (and reason for this taking so long): I had about half of this chapter written, then I go out of town for Thanksgiving (happy thanksgiving to all my american readers, by the way) I come back, and my computer crashed....twice, destroying everything that I had saved. But, now I'm paraniod about it crashing again, so I've been saving everything on disks lately. Special thanks goes out to _pad's gurl 584_. Thanks to you, i got out of my lousy writer's block...I owe you...a lot. Well, enough of my insane ramblings...enjoi:**

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Harry sat in the corner of his room, silently brooding. It had been one month since Sirius had passed through the veil, and he still knew nothing of what had really happened. He was staying at Grimmuald Place; the house had been left to him, as had all of Sirius's other possessions. Being in the house of his deceased godfather did nothing to ease his pain.

Hermione and Ron, as well as the others who were close to him, were starting to get worried. He hadn't said much about Sirius's death, and no one seemed to be able to reach him through the thick walls of despair he had surrounded himself with, He still blamed himself for what had happened. If he had just listened to Hermione, and not been so thick headed, then Sirius would still be alive; Sirius would still be with him. Sirius had been the closest thing to a father that Harry had ever remembered having. With him gone Harry just felt...lost. His real father had been taken from him when he was just a small child, before he even had the chance to get to know him. And now, now Sirius had departed as well.

To Harry, this was worse than losing his father at a young age. He had the opportunity to get to know Sirius, and truly felt his absence. Harry grieved more than he had ever before. Sirius's presence in his life was brief, but it held a lot of impact. All Harry could do now was wish for more time. That's all he wanted: more time with his godfather. But that, like so many other things, had been taken from him. Taken from him by Voldemort and his followers.

Hatred welled up in him as he thought about this again. It was because of Voldemort's rise that he had no parents, no godfather, no normal life. Ever since he started Hogwarts, he had been plagued by the Dark Lord in one form or another. Harry wanted revenge. This war was not about good or evil to him anymore, it was pure vengence.

Harry was drawn out from his thoughts by the sound of a knock at his door. Without waiting for an answer, Remus opened the door and let himself in. He had a habit of doing that...letting himself into Harry's room without his consent.

"Dinner's ready, Harry, if you're hungry," he said quietly. In the recent month, Remus had grown very quiet and withdrawn. He, like Harry, was having a difficult time dealing with Sirius's death. Sirius had been the last of his close friends that had remained loyal to him. With James and Sirius both gone, and Peter completely out of the picture, he felt quite lost.

"I'm not hungry," he muttered, waiting for Remus to leave as he was bound to do soon enough.

Remus walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. "Harry, you need to eat something. You've barely eaten anything since you got here. Everyone's really worried about you."

"I'm fine," he grunted. He was sick of people worrying about him. Why couldn't they all just leave him alone?

Lupin paused for a moment. "No you're not, Harry. I can see it in your eyes; this is killing you inside. You can't bottle all of this up. Sirius was close to you, and now he's gone. This isn't just going to go away. You need to talk to someone about this."

"Why should I talk about it? It's not like anyone's going to understand. Yeah, they'll pretend they understand and that they know what I'm going through. But you know what? It's all just one big hoax. How can anyone understand?"

Remus remained silent, waiting for Harry to continue.

"No one bloody understands! I've lost my parents and the only other person who I could even consider a parent! Voldemort took them from me and there's nothing I can do to get them back! And you know what's even worse?" he yelled, starting to pick up speed, saying things he hadn't had the courage to say aloud before. "He's going to keep on killing. He is going to kill everyone that I care about! There's no escape! No one has had to deal with this like I have. You all just keep lying to me...pretending that it's all okay. Saying there is still hope for a better tomorrow. It's all bull shit. No one here can even begin to fathom what I've been going through this past month! You're right about one thing though: it's killing me! Sirius would still be alive if it weren't for me! His death is on my conscience! I'm sick of you all acting like you understand and that it's going to work out in the end. Because you know as well as I do that it's not! There's no hope...none at all. You all need to face these facts, because there's nothing we can do to change them! And you'll never be able to understand them until you've gone through what I have!"

Harry stopped, heaving for breath after his long speech, angry tears trailing slowly down his face.

"You're wrong, Harry," Remus said quietly, after letting what Harry had said sink in.

"What? How am I wrong, Professor? Enlighten me."

"You're not the only who's lost someone in this war, Harry. In fact, I'm sure you'll be surprised to find out how many in the Order have. Molly, for instance, lost both of her brothers, Gideon and Fabian. I was at their funeral, Harry, and I have never seen Molly cry so hard in my entire life. So don't even think about saying she doesn't understand. And you're not the only one you lost your parents, either...I lost them too. James and Lily were like family to me. They were some of the few people who never turned their back on me after finding out what I am. Part of me died with them that day, Harry. Even my parents, _my own parents_, didn't accept me like your father did. And you know what? I'm having as hard a time as you dealing with Sirius's death. He was the only other person from out group of friends left, save Peter, but he doesn't really count, now does he? Once again, Sirius accepted me for who I am, no questions asked. He was practically part of my family. I'm suffering as much as you are right now, so don't pretend that I'm _not_!" He paused to regain his temper that he had slowly started to lose control of. The recent events affected him much more than he had ever let on to. " Harry, part of growing older is learning how to deal with death. It's something that everyone is faced with at one time or another. Your father had to deal with it when his older brother was killed when we were 15. And you have to deal with it now, even though it's been a part of you for a long time now. Your parent's death didn't affect you in quite the same way only because you never really got to know them, something I'm sure James is still regretting to this very day. Sirius was a surrogate father to you, and nothing can replace that. But you've got to move on. Not necessarily this very moment," he added quickly seeing the look in Harry's eyes, "but eventually. Sirius wouldn't want you to waste your time brooding over him when you have so much left to do. Sirius was not a man of idleness. He'd take action, even if it didn't need to be taken. The best way you can honor and mourn over him is by following that example and accomplish what needs to get done."

Harry and Remus sat together in silence for some time, each contemplating what the other had said. Harry had been surprised to realize how much of what his former professor had said made sense. He had forgotten that Lupin had the unique ability to make things seem so much simpler and clearer. Indeed, Sirius was not the type of person who would appreciate being mourned over for an extensive amount of time. It was time he come to terms with Sirius's death, and it wasn't fair that he kept worrying everyone else that cared about him.

"So," Remus said as Harry wiped away the tears that had trailed down his face unchecked. "Ready to eat now?"

"Yeah," he said with a small smile. "Actually, now that I think about it, I'm really, _really_ hungry."

"Well, you should be," said Mrs. Weasley who was now standing in the doorway. "You've hardly eaten anything since you got here, dear."

"How long have you been standing there, Molly?" Remus asked, somewhat embarrassed, hoping that she missed their discussion, seeing as how it was a rather private matter.

"Not long, I came up to see what was taking you two so long."

"We were just talking, Molly," Remus said with a smile that told Mrs. Weasley that they had obviously been talking over matters that needed to be dealt with. Without another word, he stood up and left the room. Harry got up and followed. Before he left, Mrs. Weasley pulled him into a warm mother-like embrace and whispered in his ear: "It's nice to have you back, Harry."

And indeed, he was back.

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"So I'm standing there, practically frozen to the spot," James sputtered out between bursts of laughter. "Sirius is holding onto the banister for dear life, and McGonagall, absolutely livid, is stuck in the trick stair–"

He and Sirius were relating to Lily an account of a highly entertaining encounter with Professor McGonagall in the middle of their third year. James had been plotting revenge on Sirius for dyeing Snape's robes hot pink without him. He had meant to push him into the trick stair on the staircase up to the Gryffindor common room and then leaving him there for sometime. It was all going on according to plan when Sirius managed to catch himself on the banister; in the process of doing which, he had accidently kicked McGonagall in the back of the knee, sending her down the stairs and into the trick stair instead of him. Needless to say, she wasn't to happy about it.

"She turns and sees me and James standing there," Sirius continued because James was laughing to hard, even though he was laughing hysterically himself. "Oh, Lily, you should've seen the color her face turned. All of a sudden she starts yelling bloody murder at us–"

"Like she normally does–"

"And she finishes with her..." he paused to regain himself enough to speak. "With her famous, 'And what do you two have to say for yourselves?' I'm trying very hard not to laugh, mind you, because this was all just too funny for words, and James is up...is up there practically crying , he's laughing so hard–"

"I swear, I can't help it! People yell at me and I laugh... it's funny. It's gotta be some type..of...of chronic...laughing disorder, or something," James interjected. "But anyways, we're standing there, and all I can manage to say is one word–"

"Pork," they said together, busting into laughter once more.

"Pork?" Lily asked in utter disbelief.

"Pork," James said as he laughed.

"You actually said pork?"

"Yeah," Sirius said. "And of course, it being the original Pork Day, I immediately crack up, and I'm laughing so hard I let go of the banister–"

"He falls and crashes into McGonagall–"

"And then I keep falling down the rest of the stairs."

"You broke your arm, didn't you, mate?"

"Yup," he said nodding.

"Wait," Lily said, trying to keep track of the conversation. "Pork Day?"

"Oh Lils, you remember Pork Day, don't you?" James asked, sounding as though he'd be mortally offended if she said no.

"That was the day–" she started before Sirius interrupted her.

"That I couldn't shut up about pork and the effect that it would have in a shrinking solution in potions."

"And then, to tie it all together, they served pork for lunch that day, and we officially dubbed it Pork Day," James said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

"How'd you start talking about pork in the first place?" Lily wanted to know, figuring that there would be a very interesting story behind that as well.

"Sirius misread the board. It said that the potion should look slightly pink," he said shaking his head. "He thought it said that it should smell like pork."

"Pink and pork look alike," he defended.

"No they don't. You looked at me and told me that your potion didn't smell like pork, and then started rambling about how maybe you should sneak down to the kitchen and steal some pork and add it to the potion," James said, laughing hysterically again.

Sirius continued to attempt to defend himself about misreading the board, to no avail. The days he had spent with Lily and James during the past month seemed to hold this pattern. Recalling good times at Hogwarts, joking around with one another, occasionally discussing more important matters like what their son was like ("He seems to have the best qualities of both of you," Sirius said...it was the only way to describe it) or how Remus was doing. Occasionally James and Sirius would wreak havoc (unintentionally, of course) at the Ministry, bringing a youthful joy back to both of them. However, though neither of them ever mentioned it, Sirius's time in this realm of the dead on Earth was limited, and coming quickly to an end. Sirius was still alive, and he needed to be with other living people until his time of death really came.

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**And that is chapter three, my friends. I'd really like some reviews (and I'm accpecting flames this time...I have recently realized how contructive they can be). Ideally speaking, I'd like to have at least three reviews for this chapter by the time I get four up in about 2 weeks. Thank you for reading....**


	5. Chapter 4

a/n: Alright, so it was more than two weeks. Sorry. Now, simply b/c you have come to expect it, my excuses (though they don't really count for anything). One: this was a hard chap to write...there's a new character (who I have had for awhile, just hadn't thrown in yet. I hope you like her...yes its a her...this chap is basically her intro to the story) and it was hard to write about how she fits in w/o making it sound unbelieveably cheesy (and if it does, I'm sorry...I tried) Two:A huge snowstorm came in a couple of days ago and completely knocked out my power for about a day and a half. I was completely miserable and freezing cold, and had no acsess to my comp....leaving me ultimately more imserable. three: I've been lazy. anyways, now I'm back and re-inspired (again) b/c of the wonderful x-mas present rowling gave us (the book comes out on the 16th od July!!!! YAEH!!!) and the box of random harry potter stuff my mum gave me (its awesome).This chap is shorter than my other ones, but I have decided that shorter chaps are better b/c they're quicker to type, wherefore giving me more time to come up w/a new chap, and so on and so forth. Enough of incesent rambling: enjoi

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A petite blonde sat on the couch in the living room of 12 Grimmuald Place. She stared at her ankle-high black boots, waiting for someone to arrive. Occasionally she smoothed out the wrinkles in her knee length skirt or pulled her Fitchburg Finches(an: team maybe subject to change as soon as I find my copy of Quidditch through the Ages)pro-quidditch jacket closer around her shoulders. She sat there for what seemed an eternity, quietly saying to herself: "It can't be..he's not...he'll be fine."

Remus Lupin entered the room, startled to find Athena Bryce, an old friend of his from school years back, siting on the couch. She immediately jumped up to look Remus over. He had changed some since she had last seen him; it had to have been at least two years. His hair was considerably more grey, and his face was marked with premature lines. Other than that, he seemed to be the same Remus John Lupin. Remus took the same opportunity to look her over. Her blonde hair fell into shocking blue eyes. She still maintained her lithe athlete's body. The only thing that seemed to be missing was the contagious smile that normally graced her face.

Finally, Athena spoke. "Remus, is it true? Is he really gone?"

_That explains it, _he thought to himself, _She found out about Sirius, and had to know. _Sadly he nodded, "Yeah, it is true. Who told you? Dumbledore?"

Athena took a deep breath, trying to calm herself and contain her emotions. "Mhmm. He showed up at my place a few days ago to tell me what had happened. I didn't believe him...I had to find out for myself..."

Remus looked up at her, surprised to hear the slight tremble in her voice, and even more surprised to see tears trailing unchecked down her face. Athena hadn't spoken to Sirius since the day that he had been accused of murdering Peter and twelve muggles. She had told Remus that what he had done was the ultimate betrayal, willing giving Voldemort the key to getting James and Lily, who had been her best friend. Upon learning of Sirius's innocence, Remus went and told her, though it took sometime to convince her. While he knew that she no longer loathed Sirius with the fierce passion that she used to, he had been sure that she would never be on the same terms with Sirius that she had been on before. She could never love him again. Those tears told him he was wrong.

"I...I n-never got t-t-to say...goodbye," she whispered, losing control of her emotion. "And...now, now he's...he's.." She couldn't say it. She couldn't say Sirius was dead.

Remus closed the gap between them in a few quick steps and wrapped his arms around her in comfort. "It's alright," he said quietly. "I didn't get to say goodbye either...and I was there."

"But I still...I still...I still loved him, Remus. I never stopped." She lost all control, then. She broke down, just as she had sixteen years ago, when James and Lily died, and cried hopelessly into his shirt.

Remus merely nodded, at a loss of what to say. He had clearly been wrong in assuming she did not love Sirius anymore, that much was clear. Sirius had proposed to Athena at Lily and James' wedding reception. They had planned on getting married quickly, both agreeing that since they had been dating since the middle of their sixth year, a short engagement was best. However, several weeks after the proposal, Athena was called away to do some overseas work for the Order. They saw each other as often as they could possibly manage, but couldn't really make any wedding arrangements. Eventually, after the birth of Harry, they stopped trying to plan a wedding, realizing that it was going to happen anytime soon. Besides, with Harry came the prophecy, and soon after that prophecy came the knowledge that Voldemort was after the Potters; and when you know that your best friends' and their son's lives are in danger, you have more important things to worry about than a wedding.

Then, disaster struck. In one night, Lily and James were murdered, and two days later Peter was presumed dead and Sirius was being shipped off to Azkaban. Not exactly an ideal situation. Athena, hurt and abandoned, had no choice but to believe that Sirius was capable of such atrocities and to, in time, carry on with her life. She had managed to do pretty well, if you asked her. She bought a house in a small wizarding village in the Rocky Mountains and got a job that allowed her to work with people. She had stayed in touch with Remus and others from the Order over the years, and was fully managing to try and forget that Sirius had ever been a part of her life. Then, in the summer of '94, Remus showed up with a wild tale about how Sirius was innocent and how Peter betrayed Lily and James and was still alive . Her world was turned upside down...again. She didn't trust her to speak to Sirius. She was afraid that seeing him again would wake old emotions, and she was afraid that he might break her heart for a second time. And now that Sirius was gone, that fear turned into regret. Regret that she never had the courage to see what still existed between them.

Athena stopped crying and pulled herself away from her old friend. "I ruined your shirt, Remus," she said, attempting to smile. "It's absolutely soaked with tears."

"Well, it's not the first time," he replied, taking the hint that she was trying to lighten the mood. "Maybe I should just dedicate one shirt for you to cry on, then I won't have this problem."

They both smiled, in a rather fake and pathetic attempt to be cheerful. The image of the other's hopelessly fake smiles was interesting enough to make each of them actually smile. "It's good to see you smile again, Athena," Remus said quietly.

The moment would have been rather romantic, had Remus and Athena not thought of each other as surrogate brother and sister and had Harry not been standing in the doorway, trying to figure out how interrupt the awkward scene.

"Hem hem," he said in a perfect impression of Umbridge that could (and would) make anyone scream with pure horror. Both adults spun around at the sudden interruption.

Athena, before she even realized that she was looking at her best friend's only child, immediately said, "You sound like Dolores. Don't you ever do that again!"

Remus laughed; Athena and Umbrigde had quite the history with each other. "Harry," he said, smiling broadly, "I don't believe you have been introduced to your mother's best friend. This is Athena Bryce."

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a/n: I hope you enjoied. and i apologize if it sounds really corny, b/c I think it kinda does. Please review, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can  
oh, and btw, Happy Chrismahanakwanzaka!!!


	6. Chapter 5

**a/n:** I think this is the quickest I've ever posted after posting another chapter. I feel so proud! lol. Just a warning, towards the end of this chap, I get into some pretty bizarre philosophical stuff, almost none of which has factual evidence to support it, so it might be a bit mind-boggling. Please forgive me. I also just realized that I have no reference of Athena in here, like I meant to when I planned this chapter, so that'll just hafta wait till later; but trust me, she does have a point to the story and isn't just some random thing I decided to throw in.  
to my reviewers:  
**Tania:** thanx for reviewing, even though you disagree w/ me about Sirius. Its good to know that some ppl stillrespect other ppls opinions. as for your comments: 1) james was just pretending to be busy,really he was sitting in his study trying to figure out what had happened and if sirius was dead, alive, or somehwere in between...he was worried that there might be no salvation for his best friend. 2) i haven't really figured out what they were doing in the DoM, so I'm just going to write it off as a coincidnce for the moment. 3) I'm glad you liked the whole pork thing. My friends who read it just thought I was being a nut. 4) sirius was worried about what was going on, he just didn't want to bring down the good mood by bringing it up. 5)Athena refers to Umbrige (the evil taod) by her first name, because she knows it ticks her off. Umbridge thinks of it as a sign of disrespect.  
**Tanya J Potter and jealousofhermione14: **don't worry...I'm getting sirius back to harry as soon as I (and my muse) can possibly manage...thanks for reviewing!  
**Patriot Girl:** ironically, my name is actually Sarah...thats a bit odd,you asking me if i were a sarah clone, and my name being sarah...it kinda freaked me out. you cried?? great., now I feel bad. my friend did the same thing, and she told me its a compliment, but i still feel bad. Sirius would like to say, on his behalf that: "I sat in the back of the room, and the room was all foggy! how do you expect anyone to read the board accurately in such abominable conditions? besides...our prof. had bad handwriting" lol. and i'm sorry it sounded corny, but i need athena in the plot, otherwise, its not gonna work out quite as well...  
**final a/n:** sorry, I won't keep you much longer, but I really liked writing this chap, so i hope you enjio!!!

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_Sirius stood at the entrance to a long and winding hallway. Wand out, he slowly made his way through the hallway, suspecting that there'd be some perilous danger around every corner. He walked for sometime without any sign of life; suddenly, around the next corner, he came face to face with Bellatrix and her husband, both of them grinning sadistically. However, they seemed to not notice that Sirius was there. Puzzled, he waved his hand in front of their faces. Nothing. _They must not see me,_ he thought to himself. He strode past the two and down the hallway. There were other Death Eaters everywhere. Malfoy, Nott, Avery, Goyle, amongst others, almost of all whom he recognized, either from school or from seeing them taken into Azkaban. He saw Wormtail, the despicable little rat, standing next to Antonin Dolohov, both of them laughing mercilessly. The pit of Sirius's stomach dropped; as far as he was concerned, happy Death Eaters was not a good sign. Turning around the next corner, he saw what amused them so much._

_At his feet lay both of the Weasley twins_, _and not much further along, he saw the rest of their family, save Percy, Molly and Arthur, and Ron. All of them were dead. As he moved along, he saw more faces he recognized. Tonks, Mad-Eye_, _Mundungus and Dedalus_. _All members of the Order. He started moving faster through the corridor, fearing what would he seeat the end, but knowing he had to get there. He stopped paying attention to the faces he saw, though he did pick out a few here and there. McGonagall_, _Hagrid, Shacklebot. Soon enough he had accounted for almost everyone in the Order. Almost suddenly, he reached a large set of double doors._ _His heart tore as he saw who laid at thethreshold of the doors. Ron, Hermione, Arthur, and Molly. Shedding silent tears, he moved their bodies away from the doors so he could see what lay behind them, though in his heart he already knew._

_He wrenched the doors open to see a flash of vivid green light. As soon as the light cleared, he saw a large vast field. Voldemort standing at the far end, Harry standing closer to the doors. Laying near Harry's feet was Dumbledore, who had obviously fallen trying to defend Harry. The light had cleared just in time to let him see Remus, standing in front of Harry as one last attempt to save him, fall helplessly to the ground in a crumpled, defeated heap. Sirius let out a gut-wrenching cry, as though he himself were dying. Voldemort let out his cruel high-pitched laugh as he saw Harry tremble with fury and greif. Mixed with his laughter was one curse, barely audible on the other end of the field. Neither of them had to hear it, though, to know what it was. Before either of them had anytime to react, a flash of green light spread across field. Harry dropped to the ground. Sirius sank to his knees, crying pitifully, holding his godson's dead body. Amidst his cries of despair that filled the air was the cold sound of Voldemort's laughter. He had won._

Sirius woke up, still crying. This wasn't the first of dreams like this, but this was the worst, the most graphic and vivid. Sitting up, he rested his head on his knees, trying to erase the images of Harry and Remus dying. In all the dreams he had recently, he had just seen the dead bodies of members of the Order, typically people he hadn't known as well. The nightmare he had just a couple nights before, he had seen all of the order, save Dumbledore, dead. Every time, however, he noticed just one other person was missing, it was the same with this past dream. In every dream, every single one, he was not there. He was still alive, James and Lily had assured him of that, and yet he wasn't there to defend those he cared about.

He knew what the meaning of the dreams, or nightmares rather, were. He needed to go back. He didn't belong here, no matter how much he liked it. He wasn't going to sit around and idle his time away when there were others that he cared about risking their neck by fighting the good fight. With a heavy sigh, he rolled out of bed and headed downstairs. He needed to talk to James.

He found James in his study, his head resting on his hand, pouring over some book. He looked some much like Remus that he couldn't help but laugh. James looked up and smiled.

"You couldn't sleep either, I take it," Sirius said, sitting down across from James, propping his feet up on the desk.

James looked at Sirius as though he were nuts, which he probably was. "It's 11:37 in the morning, mate. I've been up forover two hours," he said, still smiling.

"Oh, well then..."

There was a brief silence between them, something that didn't happen often. _Well, I may as well just dive into it...here goes nothing,_ Sirius thought to himself, before breaking the silence and saying, "James, I need to go back. I don't belong here."

James sighed and looked back up at Sirius. "I know. Why do you think that I've been in here so often lately? I've been trying to find a way for you to get back."

"Wait– you already knew that I wanted– needed– to go back?"

"Sirius, I can read you like a book. Better than, actually. It's obvious you've been sleeping weird, and so I just figured that you conscience was bothering you. Telling you that you needed to be back with the living, where you can do something useful, instead of sitting around eating my food."

"But you don't need to eat."

"That doesn't mean I don't want to."

Sirius laughed. "So, when am I going back home?"

"You're not yet."

"But didn't you just say–"

"I said I was looking for a way, Padfoot, not that I had found one," James said, laughing.

"Well, why don't we just knock me out and shove me back through the Veil? That's how I got here."

"Because all that would do is leave you on the other side of the Veil here. Experiments have been done, to see if people could go back through the Veil the way they came. And never once has it worked."

"There is a way, though, right? I'm not going to be stuck here for time and all eternity."

"There should be a way. I just haven't found it yet. Trust me, Sirius, no one wants you here for 'time and all eternity.'"

Sirius reached over and threw a paperweight at James, which he caught. "Damn you and your reflexes," he muttered under his breath. "So there's a way for me to get back in one of these books?" he said louder, indicating the bookshelves behind James.

"I don't really think so. I've read all of them, and I would have remembered reading something that allowed someone to go back to the living realm," he said sensibly.

"You honestly expect me to believe that you read _all_ of those? Come on, James. You only touch a book when you're bored or when you're looking for something," Sirius said.

"Mate, I've been dead for, what, 15 years? You run out of things to do after the first _month_. Besides, I was looking for some way to at least _communicate_ with the living. I wanted them to know that you were innocent. I mean, I was going to add the fact that Peter was our Secret Keeper into my will, just in case something happened; I didn't want the blame to fall on you. But Voldemort came just a week after we cast the charm– I never had the chance to put it in," James said quietly. He had blamed himself for Sirius being in Azkaban for that very reason. If he had just gotten around to fixing his will sooner, his best friend wouldn't have been unjustly locked away in Azkaban for twelve years.

Sirius was shocked to hear the guilt in James's voice. "No, you got it backwards, Prongs. I shouldn't have convinced you to use Peter. I should have known that if anyone knew that he was your Secret Keeper, they'd immediately go after him. It was pretty obvious that even if he hadn't been passing information to Voldemort that he would have cracked as soon as anyone asked him."

James shook his head, knowing that it was pointless to try and convince Sirius that it wasn't his fault. _I'll let Remus know that that's his job when I get Sirius back,_ he thought to himself. "Anyway, back to the task at hand. I actually don't think anyone has found a way to get back to the living world. I think part of the problem is that anyone who tried was already dead. I mean, there is no possible way to bring people who are wholly dead back from the dead. Man wasn't made to play God."

"But I'm not dead," Sirius said wryly, catching on to what James was saying.

"Exactly. So, all we have to do is figure out how the Veil really works, and how to reverse whatever it does, and apply it to what we need to do," James said grinning. It felt remarkably like the 'old times' to both James and Sirius; sitting in a library (or study), huddled over one obscure book or another, plotting their next scheme. It was rather rejuvenating.

"How do we do that?"

"No idea, however, I do understand the basic principle behind the Veil. Look at this,"he said. He grabbed two ink pots and carefully balance his quill over top of them. Looking around quickly, he grabbed a tissue form the tissue box, and draped it delicately over the quill.

"What's that supposed to be?"

"It's the Veil."

"No it's not. It's two ink pots, a quill, and a tissue."

James growled, "Use your imagination."

"You always have stupid models like this. I swear, it comes from you playing quidditch all the time," he said, chuckling. It was always so fun to tease James like this.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means ever since you became quidditch captain, you were always crouching over some model of the field and the team. It made you nuts. Well, it made you more nuts," he added as an after thought.

"Just because you have the imaginative capability of a bloody flobberworm, doesn't mean you have to take it out on my ingenious models," he said, joining in on the spirit of things.

"Ingenious? Yeah, right," Sirius snorted.

"_Moving on,_" James said sharply. He picked up a paper clip. "This paper clip represents someone, anyone. Anyway, so this person, let's call him, I don't know, Padfoot, falls through the Veil." He pushed the paper clip under the tissue. "Now, normally, Padfoot would disappear for a couple of days. Those who've fallen through say that they're stuck in this black room during that time, although no one has proof that this room actually exists, so it might be some mental ploy or something. However," he said moving the paper clip back on the other side, "if Padfoot is unconscious, he goes straight through. I don't know why. Maybe the Veil, being the inanimate object that it is, doesn't have power over the human subconscious."

"Wait– what was that last part?"

"This is just a theory, more of a hunch, really. I have no evidence to back it up, but it's the only way I can explain it. You see, when people pass through the Veil, they all say the same thing. They stayed alive for a while. Time passed between when they passed through and when they actually died and were confronted with the choice of being a ghost or coming here. Nothing ever physically happens to make them die. It's more of a mental death, really. Their conscious mind is so convinced that they _are _dead, that it over-powers the subconscious, causing them to die. Philosophically speaking, when someone believes in something like that so firmly, it becomes real, to them at any rate. So when their conscious mind is so wrapped up in the idea that they're dead, the body and subconscious have no choice but to follow. Are you following me here?"

Sirius nodded weakly. James most definitely had way too much time on his hands.

"But," he said, carrying on, "your subconscious was in control when you passed through. You didn't have your conscious mind telling you that you were stuck in a dark room and that you were dead. Because of that, you didn't die. You subconsciously knew that you were still alive and that your heart was still beating, and since you were unconscious at the time, your conscious mind couldn't tell you otherwise." By now James's eyes had grown wide, and he was talking with great enthusiasm, something that happened often when he made some sort of beak through. The same thing happened when he had finally figured out the key to becoming an animagus in the beginning of their fifth year.

Sirius blinked several times, processing what James had just dumped on him. "You know what," he muttered. "That actually made some sense, in a very bizarre way."

"Tell that to Lily. I tried explaining this to her, and she told me that I was mad," James said, still smiling.

"So, bringing this back to what we're trying to accomplish here, you're saying that we need to harness whatever causes the Veil to, to transport people between these two worlds–"

"But harness it in the way that it works over the subconscious mind."

Sirius shrugged. "Sounds easy enough, sort of. When do we get started?"

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

**a/n: **I lied, this is the final authors note, lol. i hope you all liked this chap. things are starting to pick up in the story (yeah!!) and i hope to get the next chapter out soon. please review...thank you much!


	7. Chapter 6

**disclaimer: i think we have all established by now that I am still not jo...so why do I even bother putting this up here?  
a/n: hey look you guys! I'm not dead! I died twice, but now I'm back and with a new character that I hope you all hate...a lot. And I am being sirius, just so you know. sorry I haven't updated sooner like I had promised, but as I said, i died twice, and was forced to endure the excrutiating (I don't think that's how you spell that) torture of midterm exams (cringe). Anyway, I'm back, and I swear, the next chap wil be up SOON, as in less than two weeks. It has a bit of a cliffhanger in there, so I'm gonna be nice and get it up quickly, so you don't pull your hair out in stress...lol  
enjoi  
To all my reviewers: Thank you all for being patient w/ me...you all get virtual chocolate!**

* * *

"Hurry up, would you?" Sirius hissed, glancing over his shoulder at James.

"I'm going as fast as I can," James replied. "You do want to get out of here, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Than shut up and let me find the book we need," James snapped. It had been what seemed like the millionth time Sirius had asked him to hurry up in the last five minutes. They were currently hidden deep withing the Department of Mysteries, in one of the many research departments. James was still trying to find a way to get Sirius back home, but they hit a little snag on the way: they couldn't find anything. So, despite Lily's many protests, James and Sirius had decided that they needed some rather handy resources from the Department of Mysteries.

James turned to scan the next bookshelf, muttering random things to himself the whole time. He was looking for a particular text that he knew for a fact was banned at least a thousand years ago. He also knew that the Ministry would have kept record of it; they never would have gotten rid of it if they thought it could be potentially useful."Sirius, is there anyone coming?"

"Nope," came the reply. "All clear."

"Good," James muttered. "I'm so dead...again...if they find me here...again."

Sirius chuckled from his lookout post near the door. He had agreed to keep watch for any unwanted people coming around, just in case. He honestly had no idea what James was looking for, and figured he's be in better use as a sentry.

"YES!" James suddenly yelled from the back of the room.

Sirius, forgetting that he was supposed to be on lookout, came racing back. "Did you find it?" he asked eagerly.

"No," came James's sarcastic reply. "I just yelled 'yes' for the heck of it."

"Ha ha ha, very funny, Prongs," Sirius said smiling. He rounded the corner to find James standing there, looking rather pleased with himself, hold two very large scrolls. "Are you sure these are the ones we need?"

"Positive. With luck, you'll be home in a month and out of my hair," James said grinning recklessly.

However, luck was the one thing they did not have. Sirius was just about to reply, when they heard loud, purposeful steps coming down the hall. "Someone's coming," Sirius said in a whisper.

"No duh," James hissed. He looked around quickly for an exit. Finding none, he shoved the ancient scrolls in Sirius's arms. "Go. Apparate back to my place. I'll follow in a minute."

"What! No. James, I'm not gonna leave you here," Sirius growled. "There's no effin way I'm leaving here without you."

The expression on James's face hardened. "Sirius, look, if they find you here, who knows what they'll do to you! You're a living man who's living amongst the dead! Do you know what people will do to find out how this happened? Nothing short of killing you, I'm sure." He shoved Sirius off to the back of the room. "Apparate, now! I'll throw them off!"

James headed towards the door, glancing over his shoulder to see if Sirius was actually going to listen to him this time. Surprisingly enough, Sirius was already gone. Turning back around, James found himself face to face with Victor Actaeon standing in front of the door, blocking James's only way out.

Seeing the look of twisted malevolence on the man's face, James quietly muttered, "Oh crap."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Sirius, meanwhile, had successfully apparated back to the house, nearly knocking Lily over in the process.

"Sirius!" Lily exclaimed. "Where's James?"

"We were caught snooping around in the Department of Mysteries. He made me leave him there to deal with whoever was coming," Sirius said, setting the two large scrolls down on the kitchen table. "He didn't want me to get caught and he wanted to get these scrolls back here."

"Are these the ones you need?" Lily asked, running her hand through her hair.

"James seems to think so," Sirius said. "I really hope they are, too. I want to go home."

Lily smiled and sat down in one of the chairs at the table. "When you do go back, Sirius, I want you to promise me that you'll do one thing," she said as Sirius sat down himself.

"Anything at all Lily."

"I want you to get in touch, personally, with Athena."

Out of all things he had expected Lily to say, that was not it. "What?" he asked incredulously.

"If I know Athena at all, Sirius, she'll want to see you again. She'll want to sort things out with you," Lily said calmly.

"But– I...it's just... and...er..I ...I really don't think that's a good idea, Lily," he stammered.

"Promise me, Sirius," she said again.

Sirius looked up at her and nodded in consent. "Alright, but if she's hurts me, it's your fault."

Lily smiled and glanced at the clock. Her smile melted slowly off her face and she turned back to Sirius. "James should be back by now, shouldn't he?"

"I think so. Maybe the guy that found us is giving him a hard time. He'll be here in a moment," Sirius said, trying to reassure her.

"Did you, by any chance, happen to see who it was?" Lily asked, still slightly worried.

"No, I left to soon. Why? Is there some nut who has it out for James?"

"Yes."

'Why," Sirius asked, "does that not surprise me? Who is it?"

"There's this man who is currently working at the Ministry here, his name is Actaeon. He used to be Minister of Magic in the living realm a couple of centuries ago before he got kicked out."

"Kicked out?" Sirius said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Rumor has it that he was trying to create a dictatorship after he won office. Other key figures working at the Ministry at the time suddenly started disappearing and found dead several days later. An auror linked the deaths to him after his family had been killed," Lily said in a hostile tone. "Most thought he had just hired someone to kill them, later it came out that he actually killed them himself. He's absolutely power mad."

"So why's he out for James?"

"When he tried to create this dictatorship, it was his eventual plan to rid society of anyone who likes to think outside of the box–"

"In other words, people like James," Sirius said.

"Exactly."

"But how'd he find out about James?"

"Well, you know James, he has a tendency to attract the attention of unwanted individuals. He found out what James was like after he was arrested for the first time. Although, James seems to think that he's out for revenge as well."

"Revenge?"

"Yeah. James did some research after his first run in with him. It turns out that the auror who blamed the deaths on Actaeon happened to have the last name Potter, and James is convinced that there is some relation between that Potter and him."

"And he's had it out for James ever since?"

"Pretty much. Let's see, out of the five times James has been arrested, four of the arrests were made by him, one of which he had no reasonable ground to arrest him for. And he was responsible for sending James to Azkaban for a total of three weeks."

"What?" Sirius said, interrupting. "Azkaban?"

Lily nodded grimly. "They have it here as well. James has also been placed under house arrest by him on more than one occasion; though James hasn't said anything, I have firm reason to believe that he's used the Cruciatus Curse on James. And, to top it all off, he has tried to hit on me when James is away. It's sick!"

Sirius's jaw dropped. "You're kidding me? What kind of man is this?"

"The evil psycho maniac kind," Lily said sharply. She got up and started pacing around the kitchen. "Oh, I'm going to wring his scrawny little neck so bad," she muttered.

"What?" Sirius asked.

"James!" she snapped. "I told him not to go, but does he ever listen to me? NO!"

Sirius jumped back. He doubted if he had ever seen Lily this angry. But Sirius also thought she had a good reason to be. James had obviously caused her to worry quite a bit over the years; he had a certain knack for doing that.

"You think he's run into Actaeon?" Sirius said quietly.

"Almost positive," she said, sitting back down. She took a deep breath and looked at Sirius. "Well, there's not much we can do but sit and hope for the best."

* * *

**Delano's final thought (lol): don't worry, you shall all find out what's gonna happen to James next chap...until then, give me a couple reveiws, por favor**


	8. Chapter 7

**disclaimer: oh, I am so sick of writing these...so I won't, but I think you get the point by now  
a/n: haha! it's only been a week or something! I'm so proud of myself. Lol. But, just so you know, the end of this chap isn't half as happy as the first half. Some brutal stuff goes on. And, just so you know, I am expecting to hear how much you absolutely hate Actaeon, because I hate him too.  
Brittney: is this soon enough for you?  
Pad's gurl: I know...there really is no excuse for me not getting that last chap up sooner, but I told you, I had died...twice  
Moony's Mystery: guess what! there's some action at the end of this chap, just so you know. and that flashback idea was good, i think i just might use that**

**Enjoi**

* * *

"Mr. Potter," Victor Actaeon said with a cruel and heartless smile.

"Mr. Actaeon," James said, not letting his voice betray his emotions. "It's been, what? Nineteen months since I last saw you? Much too long."

"Where is he, Mr. Potter?"

"Where's who?" James said, although he knew well that Actaeon was referring to Sirius. "And I insist that you call me James, Victor. It seems rather foolish for us to be so formal with each other, with a history as –er –thorough as ours." He added, fully enjoying the look on Actaeon's face as James used his first name. He seemed to think it rude for James to use his first name.

"Don't be smart with me, Potter," Actaeon snapped.

"I'm sorry, Victor, I can't help it," James said before he had time to think better of it. "It's just so simple, you see." He smirked as he saw a muscle twitch unpleasantly on Actaeon's face.

"Don't make this any worse for yourself, Potter. You're in deep enough trouble as it is. Answer my question."

James feigned ignorance, "What question would that be?"

Actaeon stepped slightly closer to James as he let out something that sounded like a cross between a snarl and a growl. "You know what question I'm talking about, Mr. Potter."

"I'm afraid I don't," James said, still taking pleasure in watching the other man's blood pressure rise before his eyes even though he knew he was, in fact, making matters much worse for himself.

Actaeon growled again. "Where is he, Mr. Potter?" he asked again, sounding very impatient.

"Where's who?" James asked again.

"You know who I'm talking about!" Actaeon snapped.

"I'm quite certain I don't, Victor," James said, smirking as his muscle twitched again. "And if you don't mind, I really would like to be on my way. Lily and I are expecting company for dinner tonight."

Actaeon took another step towards James, forcing James to retreat further into the room, the one thing he _didn't_ want to do. "Mr. Black," he said.

"Victor, you must be confused," James said, smiling innocently. "_I'm_ Mr. Potter. James Potter. Mr. Black, if I'm not much mistaken, is still alive."

Actaeon's eyes blazed with a cold fury. "Where is Mr. Black, Potter? I know you've been hiding him."

James blinked several times, trying desperately to act surprised. "What? I already told you, Mr. Black is still very much alive, or at least Mr. Sirius Black is. How could I be hiding a living man here?"

"You cannot pretend that you do not know that Mr. Sirius Black died several weeks ago," Actaeon said coldly, his voice void of any emotion save contempt.

"What?" James repeated again. "Sirius is...Sirius is _dead_?"

He smiled ruthlessly. "Yes, Potter. He fell through the Veil several weeks ago. However, he has not shown up yet, and he's had more than enough time to have dealt with all the necessary matters. It only stands to reason that someone, that someone being you, got in touch with him before anyone from the ministry could."

James tutted. He liked tutting and watching how frustrated people got when he did. "First of all, I don't see how you automatically assumed that I would be the one to hide Sirius, which I'm not. If he just fell through the Veil, why would I need to hide him? Everyone here should know by now that he is innocent, and if they don't I can easily set them straight. Just because I am Sirius's best friend does not give _you_, of all people, the right to assume that he would immediately come to me when he died. He was very popular; it's very possible that he would go to someone else. Second of all, why do you get to decide what's more than enough time for him to deal with 'all the necessary matters'? Hmmm? As far as I'm concerned, Sirius, and everyone else for that matter, has every right to wait as long as it takes them to make any decision that would lead them here. The way I see it is," James shifted position so that he was now leaning against the wall, "Sirius has quite a lot to think about before he decides. He, as I'm sure you have noticed, has been watching dutifully over his godson, which happens to be my only child. He is going to obviously want to watch over my son, and yet I'm sure that this place would be calling strongly to him as well, as a sort of haven, you know. It must be bamboozling for him; he was never very good at making life altering decisions," James finished almost lamely. Not for the first time, he was very glad that Actaeon was not an Occlumens, seeing as how he just lied through his teeth for his entire little speech.

Actaeon searched James's face for any sign that me might be lying. Finding none, he just assumed James was lying anyways. He paused for a moment before he said anything. It was obvious to him that James was not going to reveal any information willingly and that he was going to be very coy about hiding the information he wished to keep secret. All in all, it meant he was going to have to chose a different approach.

He took a deep breath before saying, quite calmly, "You know, Potter, I could arrest you, again, for simply being down here. It's off limits to all who aren't part of the Ministry."

"We've been through this before, Victor. I know you can arrest me for being down here because you've done it before. It doesn't seem to have left that much of an impression, now has it?" James said, keeping his tone the same as before, but silently trying to come up with explanations to Actaeon's new approach.

"No, it hasn't. Which is a shame really," he said, smiling to himself as James studied him with wary eyes, "because until you do, I'm just going to have to keep arresting you."

"So? What's your point? I happen to like our one-on-one meetings like this, Victor," James said, still not letting his guard down. "It gives me a sense of purpose. If I weren't here, who would you get to play your little mind games with?"

"My point is, this all must be very hard on your dear, sweet wife," Actaeon said, his eyes glinting with malevolence.

"My wife? What's Lily got to do with any of this, Actaeon?" James snapped. Instinctively, he pushed himself away from the wall he was leaning on, preparing himself to break Actaeon's nose if it came down to that. Inside his pocket, his hand was gripped hard around his wand.

"I am merely saying, Potter, that the lovely Lily Potter must get awfully lonely while her husband is locked up for being a man of an endlessly contentious nature," Actaeon sneered. "She probably desperately wishes for someone to comfort her during those long nights without you there."

James stood, fighting very hard to keep himself from ripping Actaeon apart at that very moment. He knew fully what Actaeon had been implying with his last comment and the thought of that man going anywhere near his beloved wife was more than enough to make his blood boil. "You will leave Lily alone," James finally hissed, his voice trembling ever so slightly with anger. "Or you will suffer the consequences."

"And what consequences would those be, hmm?" he said, taking a simple pleasure out of how absolutely furious James looked. He took another step forward, forcing James to retreat to the back wall. "The way I see it, you are absolutely helpless here, and certainly in no position to place demands or make threats."

James, now fully backed against the wall, had unconsciously drawn his wand out. He was going to use it, whether he realized he was or not. Actaeon eyed the wand warily. He had been in a duel once before with James and had most certainly come out on the wrong side. While he couldn't be killed by any attack James might make, he knew well enough that he could feel pain. James, as he had discovered during their previous duel, was an extremely powerful wizard and had a great deal of experience in dueling, almost as if he had been doing it all his life. Alone, Actaeon was no match for James. Preferring not to risk his own hide to the younger man's wrath, he said, "However, if you tell me where Mr. Sirius Black is, if you hand him over to me, then we can just forget all of this and you can go home to your wife and not have to worry about anything."

James quickly assessed the situation. His best friend or his wife. Not a great choice. He knew there was no way he could turn Sirius over to a despicable man like Actaeon, especially not when they were so close to getting him home. But he wasn't about leave Lily vulnerable to the very same man. But then again, he knew quite well that Lily could and would defend herself if the need ever arose, and besides, Sirius was there and he'd never let anything happen to Lily. He could still apparate back home. Granted, Actaeon would go there to find him, most likely with back-up and probably a search warrant. Those would both take time to get, however, giving him time to get Sirius out of the house with the scrolls they had just stolen. With Sirius safe in hiding for that time, they couldn't possibly pin any crime on him. James knew, even as he thought of the idea that it wouldn't work. Sirius wasn't the type of person to hide while he believes others to be in danger; he'd never consent to it.

James sighed. He was going to have to let himself be arrested again, and secretly he knew that Lily would kill him for it. "I've told you more than once, Victor dear boy, that I have no knowledge of Sirius Black's whereabouts. Heck, I still thought he was alive."

"Well, you leave me no choice, Potter," Actaeon said, looking even more pleased with himself. "You are under arrest, _again_, for breaking and entering into the Department of Mysteries. Come with me."

James checked himself to keep from laughing. "Come with you? I might be mad, Victor, but I'm not _that_ mad. If you want to take me in, you'll have to do it by force."

James smiled maniacally as the color left his foe's face. Obviously he remembered their last duel and how it had turned out. Actaeon quickly whipped out his wand and immediately attacked; he wasn't going to wait for James to make the first move, seeing as how it would probably be the only move he would need to make. James dodged to the side as the curse hit the book shelf behind him. He countered, and thus began their duel.

This was nothing new to James. He had been dueling with people since he started school when he was eleven. As he had gotten older, they had gotten more and more dangerous and difficult. His quidditch reflexes allowed him to dodge and duck attacks that would have cause him to falter and also allowed his to strike back with great aim, even though his target was also moving. He could see Actaeon start to get nervous. He was making mistakes and sweating profusely, even though they hadn't been fighting very long.

It was then that James made his mistake. He had started to get slightly over confident at seeing the other man's nervousness; he figured he had the upper hand and started getting careless. Well, not careless, but rather he let his guard down. He hadn't realized that this was what Actaeon had been waiting for. In all honesty, he wasn't half as nervous as James thought he was, it was all a ploy to get James to back off for a moment. Seeing his window of opportunity, he dodged James's attack, and shouted out with a voice full of venom, "_Crucio!_"

James immediately collapsed. He yelled in pain without even realizing it. It felt as though he was being burned to death and having his skin ripped off all at once. While it was not the first time this cursed had been used on him by this man, it was easily the most painful. Still screaming, he desperately wished for someone to hear him, to come down and find them. He wished for anything so long as the pain would stop. He wished for death without realizing that he was already dead. Suddenly, the pain subsided, if only very slightly, and James lay in a crumpled heap on the ground in front of Actaeon. He tried to blink the tears from his eyes, but he couldn't and started to sob uncontrollably at Actaeon's feet.

Actaeon stood above James, smiling wickedly at the other man's pain. For some odd reason the sound of James's pained voice had been like music to his ears. And now, now he was crying as though he wasn't there. Actaeon crouched down next to James, and pulled him into a sitting position. Crouching behind him, Actaeon pressed his wand into James's back and whispered harshly in his ear, "Say goodnight, James. When you wake, you're going to be in Hell." After a small pause to make sure James understood what he had said, he said simply and without emotion, "_Stupefy._"

That was the last thing James heard before the pain faded completely and he blacked out into a dark oblivion.

* * *

**a/n: alright...so exactly how much do you hate Actaeon? just wondering. See you in two weeks tops...I think**


	9. Chapter 8

a/n: hi...sorry, this is about a week late. However, this time, I have a legitimate excuse...sort of. About two weeks ago, my brother and I crashed into a telephone pole on the way to school (the roads were crappy...we should have had a snowday). We were both fine, and the car had minimale damage, but it seemed that the crash temporarily knocked my muse back into place! I got a good three pages written during the days afterwards...and then my muse fell outta place again...grrrr. However, after reading a really good lotr fic, i finally got an idea on how to tie up the end of the chap. And here we are.  
**Legolasfanxoxo: **i hate him too...thanks for brainstorming w/ me...it helped  
**Brittney:** don't worry...Actaeon's going to get what's coming to him eventually...or at least, I'm pretty sure he will  
**me...:** thanks for your review...I'm glad you like the story. and trust me, you're not the only one who is at a loss for words at what to call Actaeon. Friends of mine have called him some rather unappropriate words, claiming that nothing else suits him :)  
**bluerain627:** haha...your review made me laugh. I think you easily have the best death threat. it made my day! and I'm glad that my story was able to take your mind off your sucky grade...isn't it wonderful when things do that?  
**Emuerz: **thanks for your review

anyway, enough of my incessant rambling  
Enjoi

* * *

It had been at least two hours since Sirius had arrived, and there was still no sign of James. Neither Lily or Sirius was taking this particularly well. Lily had spent the last hour pacing around the kitchen over and over again, randomly venting her frustration at household appliances. Sirius was sitting at the kitchen table, letting his over-active imagination come up with horrible things that could have happened to James. Sirius looked up at Lily sadly, knowing that as hard as this was for him, it must be ten times harder for her. He sighed. He might as well get over his own worries, seeing as how that wouldn't do anyone any good, and try to console Lily.

"He's going to be fine, Lily," Sirius said, trying very hard to sound reassuring, but not doing to well at it. "James can handle anything that they throw at him."

Lily stopped pacing and slumped down in a chair across from Sirius. "I keep trying to tell myself, Sirius, but– urgh! I just keep remembering the last time this happened. James was arrested by Actaeon and sent to Azkaban for, I can't remember, I think it was a week or something, not very long. But still, when he came home he was pale and shaking. He kept having nightmares for ages. He got really depressed, and you know what he's like when he get's depressed," she said, trying to keep her composure. She couldn't stand think of James being sent back to Azkaban; and even more, though she felt guilty for admitting this, being under the impression that she should not be worrying about herself at a time like this, she couldn't stand the thought of being left alone again. She shuddered as she remembered what had happened last time. _Now is not the time to bring this up_, she told herself.

Sirius, in fact, did know very well what James was like when he got depressed, which wasn't very often. In their fifth year, shortly after James's older brother had been killed, James had gotten rather depressed; eventually, it hit the point where James stopped eating, mush to the distress of his friends. Sirius also knew that it always took James longer than most people to snap out of his depression, although he never knew why. Azkaban was most definitely _not_ the place for people who had tendencies to succumb to depression like that; Sirius knew that from his own experience in Azkaban.

"He'll be fine, Lily," Sirius said again. "I've been in Azkaban, and, well, it does suck beyond all reason, but strong people like James can pull out of it. The dementors can't effect him the same if he doesn't let them, and you know as well as I do that James is not one to lay down and take punishment passively. He'll fight them in any way he can. Besides, us sitting here worrying about him doesn't do him any good."

Lily sighed. Sirius was right, which didn't really surprise her. "You're right," she said simply as she stood up again. "James is going to have to face this on his own for right now, but we'll both be here for him when he gets back. Anyway," she added, trying to sound optimistic, " the time before the last time he was arrested, they didn't send him to Azkaban, just put him under house arrest. Granted that wasn't the best of situations, seeing as how he got very bored very quickly, but it was better than any other option. The only way that Actaeon will be able to send James to Azkaban is if he found James by himself or if he was attacked by James." Lily quickly pushed the idea out of her head that James might have done both. Even he wasn't that mad.

Sirius nodded, taking a cookie off the plate Lily had set down on the table. "I don't think James had any intentional plans on being sent to Azkaban," he said lightly, trying to lighten the mood in the room. "I mean, I've known James was a bit off his rocker since that whole 'Pork Day' incident, but actually _trying_ to get to sent to Azkaban is nothing short of absolute clinical insanity."

Lily chuckled softly just as the doorbell rang. With a puzzled look on her face, she said, "I'll get it, Sirius. You stay here."

Sirius nodded and Lily headed towards the front door. She pulled open the door, and to be honest she was not expecting who was standing there.

"Hey, Lils," he said.

Lily blinked several times, just to make sure she was looking at who she really was, "Er, hi, Gid," she said.

"I expect that you probably know why I'm here," he said. Lily did. Gideon Prewett, who had been a good friend of Lily's and James's when they all were alive, joined the Ministry shortly after his death about sixteen years ago. He had always claimed it was for a lack of anything better to do with his time. But ever since they started noticing that Actaeon had his eyes on James, Gid became very useful to them. On more than one occasion, he had accompanied Actaeon when he thought James might be involved, consequently saving James's arse several times.

"James?" she said.

"Yup," Gid said grimly. "Actaeon found him down in the Department of Mysteries again. From what I can make out, there was some kind of duel down there; James was stunned, but I can assure you that Actaeon didn't look to hot either."

Lily laughed bitterly, "That sounds enough like James."

"Actaeon claims that James attacked first, and since no one was down there with them at the time, we have to listen to the bloody git. Although, I have a shrewd suspicion that he attacked first, and is just blaming it on James out of spite."

"It wouldn't surprise me," Lily said. "So what's the verdict for James?"

"Two to four in Azkaban," Gid said darkly.

Lily took in nervous breath. "Two to four _days_, right?" she asked hopefully.

Gideon shook his head. "Weeks. Actaeon wanted to come and tell you himself, but well, after what happened last time, I don't trust him near you alone."

Gideon had walked in on Actaeon while he had been trying to hit on Lily about a year and a half ago. It was remarkable timing, too. Had he shown up ten minutes later things would have been slightly out of hand. Lily was about ready to wring Actaeon's neck when Gid had walked in."Thanks," Lily murmured. "Is there anything you can do to get James out sooner? I mean, you know as well as I do that James isn't guilty of half the stuff Actaeon claims he is."

"Not this time," Gid said somewhat apologetically. "It's our word against his, and while all our words might be biased, Actaeon has more influence than either of us, so James is pretty much stuck. I tried though," he added. "I really did."

"I know you did," Lily said kindly. "Thanks for coming to tell me about James; I was getting pretty worried. I hadn't expected him to be gone this long."

"Don't worry about it, Lils," he said, smiling slightly. "And just a heads up, Actaeon might try and swing by later. I suggest that you find someone to go visit for awhile."

Lily nodded. "James's older brother just got back into to town," she lied. "I'll go stay at his place till things blow over some."

Gid glanced at his watch. "I gotta go, Lily. Take care of yourself."

"You too. Maybe next time we see each other circumstances might be a bit lighter," she said.

Gid nodded and left. As soon as he was gone, Lily shut the front door and turned to lean her back against it. Slowly, she slid to the floor, thinking over and over to herself: _Tow to four weeks. Two to four weeks. James is going to be in Azkaban for two to four weeks._ Sirius, who had been listening to the entire conversation from the kitchen, walked over and sat on the stairs across from the door. They sat in silence for awhile, each of them replaying the conversation in their mind. Finally, Sirius spoke.

"Would you mind explaining that to me?" he said quietly.

"Explain what?"

"Explain that 'after-what-happened-last-time-I-don't-trust-him-alone-with-you' crap," he said. "What exactly happened last time?"

Lily took a deep, calming breath and looked up at Sirius. She had been staring at her knees for awhile, and had forgotten that she and Gid had mentioned her previous encounter with Actaeon. "Oh," she said. "About that. Before I tell you, you must know that I've never really told James about this. I've been afraid that he'd go out and do something incredibly stupid if I did."

"Stupid like what?"

"Stupid like try and kill Actaeon, even though he's already dead," Lily said. "So you have to promise not to tell him, alright?"

"Fine. Now explain."

"Okay, the last time James was arrested, Actaeon came and gave me the news himself. I never really figured out why, but I'm pretty sure it has to deal with the fact the he is a sleezly low-life. Anyway, he comes here to tell me and he starts coming on to me like the complete creep that he is. So he's hitting on me, and I was getting really mad; I mean, for crying out loud– he was coming on to me in my own home. You can't get much lower than that. So I was getting pissed and he was getting, I don't know, lust-full or something, and things started getting kind of heavy."

"How heavy?" Sirius questioned.

"Well, if Gid hadn't walked in when he had– he came to see if there was anything I needed, you know, being the good neighborly type– then Actaeon's gross creepiness would have evolved into attempted rape."

"_What!"_ Sirius said, almost shouting.

"Shh. Sirius, it's okay. It never would have gotten that far if I had anything to say about it," Lily said. "I can assure you, he won't be eager to try anything like that again."

"Lily, this is the type of thing your supposed to tell James," Sirius said slowly.

"I know, but...timing has always been really crappy," Lily explained. "And besides, nothing happened, so I'm just as content as forgetting about it. Although," she added as an after thought, "if he ever tries to touch me again, I'm afraid that he'll be in a lot of pain for a very, _very_ long time."

Sirius allowed himself to laugh. He knew what Lily could do when she was pushed to it, and didn't envy anyone who offended her enough to take such drastic measures.

Lily sighed and looked at her watch. "I'm going to go fix dinner... or lunch. Whichever meal we're at," she said absently, and Sirius got the distinct impression that she wished to be left alone with her thoughts.

Sirius, in the mean time, retreated to the living room at the back of the house and he let himself fall into his own thoughts. The room itself brought back many memories, most of them pleasant. As he scanned the room, he felt a sense of familiarity sweep over him. He had practically lived in this room after James and Lily bought the house. He had fond memories of sitting in front of the fireplace with baby Harry in his lap, playing with his godson. He let his thoughts wander to what was happening to Harry right now as he moved to sit down on the couch in front of the fireplace. If time worked the same way, then Harry would be starting his sixth year of school in a few weeks. Sirius smiled as thoughts of his own sixth year overcame him. For the most part, it was a great year. It was that year that he had finally managed to get a date with Athena Bryce, the woman who he, though he wouldn't admit it, was still in love with. He and James had played some of their most memorable pranks that year, most of which went smoothly, while some of them had backfired in a very chaotic manner.

Sirius sighed, letting the realization that that had really been his last year as a kid. In his seventh year, the seriousness of the threat that Voldemort posed had began to sink in. In his seventh year he had begun to hear tales of peoples relatives disappearing and tales of his relatives, even though he didn't claim them as such, joining Voldemort's cause. But still, it had been a good year. Things weren't as bad as they were once they got out of school. After they left Hogwarts, Sirius often thought that their lives had peeked for a few years, until they made a drastic downward spiral that left him in Azkaban and Lily and James dead.

Sirius involuntarily shivered as he thought about Azkaban. He spent twelve years of Hell there, and he dearly wished that he could forget it all, even though he knew he would never be able to. He had barely managed to keep his sanity during those years; he clung to the fact that he was innocent and had found that it was the only way to even keep his misery and despair at bay. The first years there were easily the worst. It had taken him awhile to realize that, try as he might, he couldn't completely escape the eerie despair that seemed to hang in the air there. For years, he had tried to recall good memories, only to not be able to find them. Even worse, when there had been times where he did stumble upon a memory that did contain traces of good times and happiness, he found that they were brutally twisted before his eyes and turned into dark and terrible memories. That was enough to drive anyone mad.

He hated to admit it, but there was a part of him that was glad Wormtail had foolishly let himself be found in the picture of the Weasley's. As far as he was concerned, it should have been Wormtail in Azkaban all those years, and not him. The fact that he had never had to spend time there infuriated Sirius. But, it was because of Wormtail being in that picture that Sirius finally managed to get a hold of the spark of resolve to escape. Had it not been for that picture, he would most likely still be sitting Azkaban while all those he cared about still thought him a traitor and a murderer.

Sirius stretched out on the couch and let his thoughts turn to James, who was now suffering the same Hell that he once had. James, Sirius was quite convinced, was the last person on Earth who should be sent to Azkaban. He had done some stupid stuff when he was younger, but as he got older and matured, he had grown out of his stupid habits and turned into one of the most noble people Sirius had ever met. James was one of those people who you could always count on to do the right thing without hesitating. He had always had a sort of charm and charisma that seemed to embody his personality. Sirius knew that James hated to see people he cared about suffering, whether it was emotionally of physically. No one, in Sirius's mind, who had that capacity for caring about others, to the point of self-sacrifice and beyond, deserved to be forced into Azkaban.

Guilt overcame Sirius as he realized that it was partly his fault that this had happened to James in the first place. If James had not been so worried about what might happen to him, he would have, more than likely, been able to keep himself from being caught by Actaeon.

"Stop that," he muttered to himself. Blaming himself was not going to do anyone any good in this situation. He sighed again as he drove the guilty feeling out of him. He stared at the ceiling and silently tried to organize his mind. It was not his fault that Actaeon had arrested James, it was Actaeon's, he told himself. A wave of hatred momentarily swept over him. His best friend had suffered enough during his short life, and he most certainly did not need a mad man like Actaeon make him suffer more. As he lay on the couch, Sirius made a decision that he did not consciously realize he had made. Actaeon was going to pay for what he had done and was doing. he was going to pay, and Sirius was going to make sure of that.

* * *

final note: thank you all for reviewing, its really nice to chack my mail and get all those nice reviews. I'm not exactly sure what I have planned for the next chap, so it might take me awhile to get it posted. In the meantime, you guys get a pole to help me to decide what to write next: a chap through Harry, Lupin, and Athena's perspective, or a chap through James's? who knows...maybe a chap from both? anways, you are now done reading chapter 8, and you can now press the little purplish-blue button that says reveiw

Delano


	10. Chapter 9

**an:** alrighty, people, this is chapter nine. Half of it is told through James's perspective, while the other half is back at Grimmuald Place. This chap was really hard for me write, for some absurd reason, so if it sounds a little forced or unnatural, that's probably because it is. Or it might not, I don't know.  
To my oh so wonderful reviewers:  
**gemini:** thanks for reviewing. Although, I'm not sure how mush athena/sirius i can work in, seeing as how they're in two different dimensions  
**Dante Lewis:** you should expect a cameo of James's bro in the next chapter  
**bluerain627:** acteaon is a creep...he is the creepiest of all creeps. Yes, James's bro is with him right now (well, not now, because James is obviously locked up). You can expect him to show up in the next chapter. And as for athena/ sirius develpoments, see my final authors note  
**Aurora Kapu Black13: **thanks for your review. feel free to point out my spelling errors...there are quite a few of them, i kno...  
**Mithril-Moony:** thanks for your reviews...all three of them. lol. see, i did update this story...it just took me awhile  
**Legolasfanxoxo:** sorry, it's impossible to kill actaeon again...though he's going to get what's coming to him eventually  
**emurez:** thanks for your review again. you have your Athena, remus and Harry part of the story at the end (it's longer than the part from james's perspective:))  
**Brittney:** oh, actaeon's gonna pay...have no fear. And Lily is tough. I don't think she'd be half as cool if she weren't  
**Mark SCHNEEZLE: **thanks for your review...it made my day

(wow, that's quite a few people) ENJOI

* * *

James rested his head against the cool, damp wall of his cell, desperately trying to clear his mind of the haunting memories that had been plaguing him.

"Breathe, Prongs, breathe," he muttered quietly to himself as he brushed away the tears that had subconsciously started to flow as he relived the memory of his parents' death.

A shudder passed through him and he pulled his thin robe closer around him as he tried to block out the inevitable cold of Azkaban. He wasn't sure how long it had been since Actaeon had ordered his arrest, nor was he sure how long he was going to be stuck here. He wanted to be gone, though, not that it counted for much. Actaeon had the power to keep him in Azkaban for as long as he felt was necessary.

James flinched as some poor soul a few cells away started yelling in his sleep. The sound wasn't unfamiliar to James; his past experiences in Azkaban had taught him that more than most of the prisoners screamed in their sleep, slowly being driven mad by the dementors that terrorized the prison. The dementors had a tendency to drive any hope of happiness or elation right out of the prisoners' minds, letting them succumb to depression, and then to madness. James, however, cluing to his innocence, much like a frightened child clings to their favorite teddy bear, using it to attempt to fight of the madness.

As the yelling faded into quiet sobbing, James began to relax, as much as he could anyway. He stared out the barred window that was in his cell at the dark twilight. He was sick of the dark; even in broad daylight, the light of the sun didn't quite make it to his cell before the dementors drained it. The dark was just as maddening as everything else in Azkaban. Without light to illuminate the darkness of the situation, James was left to sit in his cell and stare at the wall as terrible memories flashed before his eyes.

James closed his eyes and willed his mind to remain clear, something that had never been easy for him. Every time that he started to clear his head, some random thought would appear and ruin his concentration. This time, however, it seemed slightly easier. Instead of trying to clear his mind and stay conscious, he tried to will himself into a dreamless sleep. He hadn't slept well in several nights, and yet he knew that he still need to rest. He laid back and let a cruel, dark oblivion overwhelm him.

"_Sit down, James," McGonagall said somberly. _

_He did as he was told, but was still very confused. McGonagall was never this distraught. Even when he had accidently set fire to her desk in his fourth year, there had still been a glint of amusement in her eyes. Seeing her look so outwardly upset about something worried the fifteen year-old more than anything else._

"_What's going on, Professor?" he asked, trying desperately to read the mixed expressions on McGonagall's face._

_She sighed and looked at James sadly. "We received this from your parents a short while ago," she said as she handed a letter to James._

_James took it warily. He identified the untidy scrawl as his father's, although there seemed to be something wrong with it. The writing was rather jerky, as though it had been written with a trembling hand. He scanned over the letter several times. Each time he did, the same section stood out at him._

I'm sorry, James, I really am, but you need to know: Jared was murdered last night.

Your brother is dead.

_The words didn't make sense to him. Jared couldn't be dead. Jared was only in his twenties; people that young didn't die. Jared wasn't allowed to die until after he finally managed to get a date with Lily Evans. Jared couldn't possibly be dead. But his father wouldn't lie to him. His father would never, not in a million years, do something so heartless. It had to be true, but James didn't want to accept it._

_He looked up at McGonagall and slowly shook his head. "No," he said aloud. "He can't... Jared can't be..." he couldn't bring himself to say it. To say it would be to admit it. It would somehow make it true._

_McGonagall shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry, James, but he is dead."_

_James' vision swirled and he was no longer in McGonagall's office but in the Gryffindor common room. He was no longer fifteen, but a year older. Sirius sat on a chair across from where he stood, staring at the floor, looking rather ashamed at himself. Things obviously weren't going well for him._

"_How could you do something so STUPID?" James snapped at Sirius, not fearing his friend's reaction._

"_Prongs, I–"_

"_There's no excuse for doing something like that!" James snapped again, glad that the common room was empty. _

"_James, would you just listen to me?" Sirius said, looking up at James, his eyes full of some angry emotion._

"_And why should I listen to you, after you did something so – moronic?"_

"_Because you're my friend, James. You're supposed to hear me out. You're supposed to care," Sirius said quietly._

"_I'm not to sure I could call you a friend anymore, Sirius," James said, lowering his voice so that he was quieter, but his voice lost none of its venom. "Of all the stupid things you've done, this has got to top them all. Snape nearly died at the hands of someone who considered you a friend. You basically handed Snape death on a plate! I don't care what he did, no one– NO ONE– deserves that. And did you ever once stop to think about what this would to Remus? If he had killed Snape – he's already blaming himself and he didn't do anything! I can't believe that you would betray his trust in you like that! I don't know you anymore, Sirius. The Sirius I knew would never stoop so low."_

_Sirius's face fell. It was obvious that the teenager was hurt by his friend's harsh words. "You know what James?" he said, his voice thick with tightly concealed emotion. "I know I did something stupid. I know that I wasn't thinking when I told Snivellus how to get passed the Whomping Willow. I kind of figured that out on my own. It was bad enough having Dumbledore disappointed in me, not to mention having Remus blaming himself for my folly. It was even worse having Athena yell at me, wanting to break up with me after she found out, thinking that I was low and despicable for doing something like this! I honestly didn't need her lecture on top of Dumbldore's, and I _don't_ need yours on top of theirs! I thought that you would at least have some understanding, that you wouldn't feel the need to rub this whole mess in my face! Don't you think I'm having enough people mad at me right now? Did you really think that I needed my best friend right along with them?" Sirius's voice was trembling now. He was having difficulty keeping his emotions, that had seemed to befalling apart all over the place lately, under control._

_James looked at Sirius, as though his eyes were boring holes deep into his friend's soul. "My best friend wouldn't have attempted to bring death to another student. I have no best friend, now," he said coldly. He turned away and headed out the portrait hole. And although he could not see Sirius, quite clearly he heard his friend's voice, quietly pleading for James to come back and forgive him for doing something so stupid. Yet, even with Sirius's pleading voice in his ears, he turned his back on Sirius and left the common room._

_His vision swirled again, this time taking him to a funeral home were his parents dead bodies were laid out. His parents bodies morphed into the bodies of Gideon and Fabian Prewett, two member's of the Order that he had considered friends. Once more the bodies shifted, this time into the single body of Marlene McKinnon, yet another member of the Order; Marlene had been in the same year and house as him. The funeral home swirled into the sight of a small clearing in the woods were the remains of Benjy Fenwick, an auror and Order member, had been found. James stared in horror at the constantly shifting scenes and bodies. Each time it was exactly as he remembered it, right down to the last detail, to the sounds and smells of the event. He sank to his knees as the images kept changing, taking him to every scene where he had witnessed a death, found a dead body, or mourned at someone's funeral. He couldn't take much more of it. He buried his head in his hands and began to weep._

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Harry was in the dining room, sitting down with his lunch , when Lupin walked in. Other than them, Grimmuald Place was virtually empty. The Weasley's were back at the Burrow, and most members of the Order had somewhere else to be at the current moment.

"Hey Harry," Lupin said, thumping an old leather bound book on the table, sending a cloud of dust into the air. "Have you seen Athena around?"

"Haven't seen her since last night," Harry said. Athena had been staying at Grimmuald Place for the past few weeks. And in those few weeks, Harry had grown rather fond of the strange women. There was just something oddly familiar about her that gave Harry an odd sense of comfort. He suspected that it had to do with the fact that she was the only one of his mother's friends that he had ever met. Athena, he noticed, had lightened the dark mood that had settled of Grimmuald Place. It was rare to see her without a smile, and she was always trying to pull people, even ones she didn't know that well, into conversations. Yet, she was not all smiles, as a few suspected. Athena, as it turned out, was very steadfast in the opinions she had formed over the years. When someone opposed her on something she thought strongly about, her temper had a tendency to rise...quickly. Lupin had assured Harry that occasionally her temper would lead her to violent actions, though that happened rarely.

"That's odd," Lupin said, sitting down in front of the book he had placed down moments before. "She didn't say she was going anywhere."

Harry shrugged and sat down across from Lupin with his lunch. "Why're you looking for her, anyway?" he asked.

"I found an old photo album in one of the rooms. It has a bunch of pictures from school in it. I thought she might want to take a look at some of them," Lupin said absently.

Harry grabbed the book and pulled it toward him. He opened the old album and started flipping pages slowly, taking the time to study the pictures. The first few pages were an assortment of pictures, most of them featuring his father, Sirius, Remus, and Peter; they looked to be about his own age. He studied carefully the young face of Sirius, a handsome face that showed no signs of any cares or preoccupations. He was always smiling and laughing and waving up at him. This was Sirius as he should have been. Harry had the distinct impression that had his parents not been murdered, and had Sirius not been wrongfully thrown in Azkaban for twelve years, than Sirius would be much like the one he saw in the pictures, only more mature. It was impressed upon Harry once again how short Sirius's life really was. He had never gotten the chance to enjoy young adulthood; he had never gotten the chance to really grow up. And now– now he was gone...dead. He really had no chance to enjoy his life. The last fifteen years of his life, he was either imprisoned or on the run from the Ministry. He was miserable for the last fifteen years of his life.

Harry heard a faint _pop_ of someone apparating behind him, but he paid no attention to it. He was still enraptured by the pictures. He suddenly got the distinct impression that whoever had just apparated in was now standing behind him, looking over his shoulder. Once again, he paid the person no heed, quietly eating and turning the pages.

"What're you looking at?" Athena said from behind him. Harry jumped a little, having not expected it to be Athena standing behind him.

"An old photo album," he replied as she sat down next to him.

She pulled the book over to her and flipped through a couple of pages. She looked up at Remus, "What year were we in in these pictures?" she asked.

"Sixth year," he said grinning. "Or at least I'm pretty sure it's sixth."

"What makes you say that?" she asked.

"Oh, just the way we look," he said. "And some of the pictures are obviously developments that occurred during our sixth year."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, there is a picture of the Killer Rubber Ducky in there," Remus said starting to laugh.

"_What?_" Harry and Athena asked at the same time. Harry had no idea what Remus was talking about. Athena, however, did. She instantly started flipping through the album, searching for the said picture.

"What are you talking about?" Harry asked again when Athena found the picture and busted out laughing.

"We're talking about your father's bad luck omen," Remus said, still laughing. "The Killer Rubber Ducky."

"Huh?" Harry asked, just as Athena asked, "Who bloody took this picture?"

"I'm pretty sure it was Sirius," Remus said. "I think he took it after James threatened to decapitate the duck. He claimed that he wanted a lasting image of it."

Athena started to laugh again. "Would you mind explaining this to me?" Harry asked, still perplexed, over Athena's laughter.

"That's an interesting story, actually," Remus said, having finally stopped laughing completely. "Only I don't know how it begins. Athena could tell you though– once she stops laughing that is."

Athena started taking deep breaths, saying in a strained voice, "I'm okay. I'm okay. Really, I swear, I'm okay."

"You sure about that?" Remus asked skeptically.

Athena glared at him. "Yes, I'm sure." She turned to Harry, before saying, "The Killer Rubber Ducky originated at a quidditch practice at the beginning of our sixth year. It was only a week or so before our first game of the year, and James, for some unknown reason, could not play well...at all. He sucked, he really did. I've never seen him play so bad in my life. Anyway, we take a break from practice, and we're just sitting in the middle of the pitch, as a team, trying to come up with reasons as to why your father couldn't play. Sometime during all this Zachary Vance, our keeper, went into the locker rooms, and when he came out, for some reason he brought a rubber ducky with him. To this day, I have no idea what possessed him to bring the duck with him.

"Anyway, I take one look at it and I turn to James, and say, quite seriously, 'James, I have figured out your problem.' He looked at me and said 'Oh really, what is it, then?' 'You're been haunted by the Killer Rubber Ducky,' I told him. And, oh my gosh, the look he gave me was absolutely priceless. He just stared at me with this look of utter confusion on his face. I then asked him if he had paid attention in Divination at all the previous year, which I knew he hadn't, because that had to be his favorite class to skip. I told him that he must have missed the day we talked about omens, because the Killer Rubber Ducky was a terrible bad luck omen. He started laughing and turned around and saw Zachary standing there, holding this random rubber duck, and he started to laugh harder. We ended up cancelling the rest of practice because he could not stop laughing to save his life," she said, grinning broadly.

"And that's where I come in," Remus said, still chuckling occasionally. "He found us, Sirius, Peter, and I, at dinner and started telling us all about this Killer Rubber Ducky. I started laughing, convinced that James had actually gone mental, but Sirius thought that this was the funniest thing since Pork Day."

"Pork Day?" Harry asked, eye brows raised.

Remus waved his hand dismissively, "That's another story," he claimed. "Anyway, James says that he kept the rubber duck and that it was in our dormitory. Well, Sirius gets this brilliant idea to charm the duck, but he only told me about it. So the next morning we all get up, and as he's getting ready, James looks over at the duck. And the duck, Sirius had charmed it to make this–this noise. I swear it sounded like a cross between a moose and a dying giraffe. Anyway, when your father looked at the duck, Harry, it made this dying-giraffe-moose noise, and it quite honestly scared your father half to death. He nearly jumped two feet off the ground. James just scowled at Sirius, seeing as he was on the floor laughing. However, that wasn't the only thing Sirius did to that rubber duck."

"What'd he do to it?" Harry asked, already starting to laugh as ideas of what could have possibly happened to the rubber duck flashed across his mind.

"Upon Sirius's command, the Killer Rubber Ducky would follow James around the castle. And oddly enough, almost every time one of our pranks went wrong or he got detention, the duck was right there behind him. Eventually, we got to the point where James just started blaming everything on the duck. I believe he once told Professor McGonagall that he didn't do his transfiguration homework because the Killer Rubber Ducky had been 'exercising its wrath'. McGonagall gave him a detention for it, which he also blamed on the duck," Remus said, starting to laugh reminiscently.

"The duck was responsible for every bad thing that happened to him til the day he died," Athena said. "Or at least that's what he claimed. There was this one time, while he was working for the Order, he somehow–not surprisingly– got himself landed in St. Mungo's. The first thing he told us when he woke up was that it was the Killer Rubber Ducky's fault."

Athena kept smiling and she continued turning the pages in the photo album. Occasionally she or Remus would explain the story behind a particular picture to Harry, both of them having a good time recalling the good memories. Athena turned to the next page after relating a story about James's hair being dyed bright pink for over a month. She immediately clapped her hands over one of the pictures, before proceeding to rip the picture out of the book.

"What's that picture of?" Harry wanted to know.

"Nothing," Athena said quickly, folding the picture in half.

"Oh come on, Athena, we've seen enough embarrassing pictures of me," Remus said. "Surely one of you can't hurt."

"Not this one," she said firmly, holding the picture safely out of the way when he tried to snatch it out of her hands. With a determined look she headed into the kitchen.

"What was that about?" Harry asked, confused by the sudden turn of behavior.

"I don't know," Remus said. A faint crease line of thought had formed on his forehead as he tried to reason Athena's behavior. After waiting a few minutes, Remus got up and followed Athena into the kitchen; Harry followed him.

Athena was gone by this time. The picture, however, was still sitting, folded in half, by the stove. Remus picked the picture up and looked at it. Suddenly it became all to clear to him why Athena did not want them to see the picture. "No wonder she acted strangely," he muttered under his breath.

Harry walked up behind Remus and looked that the picture over his shoulder. "Whoah," he said. "Is that...Is that Athena and Sirius...snogging?" he asked, absolutely perplexed.

Remus nodded, turning to face Harry. "Your father must have taken this picture while they weren't paying attention," he said. "He's the only one that would have done something like this."

"Wait, Sirius and Athena used to _date_?" Harry asked, still as confused as ever.

"Er, yeah. I thought that Athena would have told you," Remus said. "You two talk so often that I figured it must have come up sometime. I didn't realize that you didn't know."

Harry shook his head. "She never said anything about it. When did they start dating?" He asked.

"Around Christmas of our sixth year," Remus said.

"How long did they date?"

"A long time," Remus said, setting the picture down on the counter. "After school, they got really serious for awhile. Their relationship went on hold for a few years when she started playing quidditch professionally for the Fitchburg Finches. But when she took a break from her career, to help out with the Order here, they started seeing each other again. They were actually engaged before Sirius was sent to Azkaban."

"_What?"_ Harry asked, absolutely astonished that he had never known about this.

Remus nodded. "Yeah," he said simply. "Sirius has always loved her, even if he didn't admit it all the time. And I'm pretty sure that Athena felt the same way about him for most of her life– although, I think she convinced herself not too when she thought that Sirius had betrayed your parents."

"I never knew," Harry said, still trying to process all the information.

"Then she must not have wanted you too. Not yet, least ways," Remus said. "Do me a favor and don't mention this to her. Sirius's death has affected her in much the same way as it has effected us. She probably just wants time for wounds to heal before she starts talking about that."

Harry nodded in understanding. Remus left the kitchen, leaving Harry to carefully process all of this new information. In all the years he had known Sirius, it had never occurred to him that Sirius might have had a girlfriend, or rather, a fiancée. The more he thought about it, though, the more it started to make sense to him. Sirius had obviously been the good looking one out of his groups of friends; he had been the devilishly handsome one. It only made sense that girls would be after him. Hadn't Harry seen a girl check him out when he saw Snape's memory last school year? It made perfectly logical sense that he would have found someone he wanted to be with.

But why hadn't Sirius ever mentioned it? Why hadn't Sirius ever bothered to tell him? Leaning back against the counter, Harry trued desperately to figure it all out, before giving up, deciding that when he saw Sirius again, when he died, he's have to remember to ask him.

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**my final note:** first, thanks goes to my good friend whalen, who suggested the Killer Rubber Ducky. Second, thanks to all my reviewers. I got a record of 11 reviews between now and when chapter 8 was published. it was siriusly awesome. To those of you who asked me about Jared (James's older brother) or sirius/athena, I'm am pleased to inform you that I am currently working on another fic (although this one is my top proirity) which is set during the marauder's glory years (lol). In other words, from about year 5 to lily and james's death. In this fic you'd get to see more of Jared and the original development of athena/sirius. As soon as I'm done with this fic, I plan to start posting that one. And, as a side note, I need a title for that fic, so all suggestions are welcome. Now if you'd be so kind to review, I'd much appreciate it.  
p.s since I actually know what I'm doing for the next chapter, you should expect it in about two weeks. 

Delano


	11. Chapter 10

**a/n:** HAPPY "100-DAYS-TILL-HALF-BLOOD-PRINCE-DAY"! lol...just think...in only 100 hundred days the long awaited book shall be in our hands...ooo! I can't wait! lol. anyway, i know this is late...but its not too late is it? but y'all should be happy, because I almost didn't get this written, but then yesterday i decided that i should just sit down and write it...it took me forever though. I swear I was up until 2:45 in the morning typing it up. Its a good thing I'm on spring break...

**to my oh so wonderful reviewers:**  
**emuerz:** I'm glad you like the grimmuald place part... I wasn't sure how well that was going to go over  
**bluerain627:**i'm not too sure as of right now if i'll have any sirius/ athena going on all the much in this fic. in all honesty, if sirius does make it back, i'm not sure if i'll continue the fic much longer after that. And posting part of my other fic as a final author's note is a good idea, but i'm not quite ready to do it yet...i'll probs do it for the last chap...or make a final chap for this fic the first chap of my other one...I don't know yet. And yes, I'm planning on having the whole werewolf prank in that fic. And don't worry about asking questions...i like it when ppl do...lol  
**rockpaperscissor:** yeah, i noticed the discerpency between the length of time in azkaban shortly after i posted. But keep in mind that sirius was accused of murdering 12 people and James was only arrested for breaking and entering...i doubt they would have the smae sentence. Although...in book 5, sturgis podmore was arrested for trying to force his way into the DoM, and he was in azkaban for 6 mos...but I just don't think I can have James in azkaban for that long, it would hold up the story a little too much. And your comment about Sirius has been noted and taken into consideration...you're right, he is no longer a hyper little kid.  
**Autumn92685039:** tahnks for the review...i'm glad you enjoied the killer rubber ducky and pork day  
**Brittney/pimpcake: **pimpcake? oh my, that has got to be an interesting story. thanks for the review  
**Dante Lewis:** you know what? i love your reviews, they always make me feel more intelligent than i actually am. lol.  
**LupinLover88: **thank you for your reviews (all of them...lol) I'm sorry that you think my chapters are a bit short, but if i make them any longer, I would probably only be able to update once a month. your concerns about James have been taken into consideration and slightly amended, or at least i hope so, in this chapter. also, about athena and the whole picture thing, i must disagree with you about her over-reacting. The poor woman is greiving over the man she has loved since she was a teenager and has now lost...again. She was trying to forget about the relationship she had with him and was trying to move on, but that picture was a blaring reminder in neon-lights of what she was trying to forget. She wasn't expecting it and didn't know quite how to cope with it at the moment. But thank you for voicing your conerns.

**Disclaimer:** I'm still not Jo...not for a lack of trying, but those lawyers keep getting in my way. I do however, now own three different characters: Athena, Actaeon, and Jared. they're mine, and you can't have them!

**WARNING:** alright somewhere in the middle of this chap, there is a rather intesne scene with James and Actaeon. It gets a bit violent, and Actaeon starts swearing like a trucker. Now, I myself, do not swear or cuss (or I try not to at least), but i thought it might be fitting if Actaeon did. If it offends any of you,. I'm sorry, but thats how life is.

enough of my rambling...if you even paid attention to it: enjoi

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Sirius stormed out of the kitchen and into James's study at the back of the house. Furiously, he slammed the door behind him and locked it. Locking the door, he knew, was a pointless action; Lily surely had enough sense not to approach Sirius after his display of temper in the kitchen only moments before. It was only one of the many arguments that erupted in the Potter's home since James's arrest three weeks ago.

Despite his best efforts to prevent it, Sirius had succumbed to the moody and irritable state that he had assumed during his stay at Grimmuald Place. He knew that he had no right to, but he often found himself snapping at Lily who was finding that her own patience was wearing thin. Lily had adopted the habit of snapping back, which led them to small arguments that would end with one or both of them retreating to some corner of the house to be alone with their thoughts and tempers, just as Sirius was doing now.

Sirius strode over to James's desk and picked up a paper weight that was sitting on it. He tossed it between is hands for a moment before hurling it at the wall before him, creating a visible dent that he would probably fix later. With a low guttural noise (something between a growl and snarl) he sank down in the chair in front of the desk. He leaned forward and rested his head on his hands. Already he was feeling remorse for yelling at Lily. The poor woman had enough on her hands without him being a jerk on top of it all.

With James gone, Lily was constantly fretting over her husband's absence and Sirius was, once again, being overwhelmed by feelings of helplessness, much like he had at Grimmuald Place. In truth, Sirius was more angry at himself than anything else. Frustrated that he could be of no use or help. His best friend, the one person who had always been there for him, was locked in Azkaban, and Sirius could do nothing about it. James was having to go through the an unparalleled Hell, and there was nothing Sirius could do but wait. He hated waiting. He had been doing the same thing at Grimmuald Place. He had been waiting for his name to be cleared so he could get on with his life. He had been waiting for his life to regain purpose.

He was convinced that the only reason he hadn't just given up was because of Harry. Harry had been his purpose. As his godfather, it was his job to take care of Harry in his parents' absence, and it was a job he hadn't done very well. He had always been imprisoned or in hiding, helpless to help his godson. And now, he was even more helpless in regards to Harry. How was he supposed to fulfill his duty as godfather when he and his godson weren't even on the same plane of existence?

_You've failed them_, a small voice in the back of his head, that sounded remarkably like his father, remarked. _You've failed both the Potters; James and Harry. Can't you do anything right? _Sirius shook his head, trying to rid his mind of the maddening voice. It wouldn't leave, though. It kept pressing the point of his helplessness. Sirius stood up and picked up an empty mug that once held butterbeer in it. In a moment of sheer self-oriented frustration, he hurled it at the wall, hitting the dent he had created earlier. The impact shattered the mug and left a hole in the wall and Sirius was left with a complete and total silence. Sirius stood in the middle of the room for several moments, allowing himself to gather what was left of his composure. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Looking from the shattered mug on the floor to the hole in the wall and then back to the mug, he took out his wand and muttered, _"Reparo." _He watched as the mug repaired itself and silently wished that he could do the same for his life, since it had long ago shattered into a million small pieces. He sighed and once more repaired the hole in the wall. He walked over to the door, unlocked it and pulled it open. He was planning on heading upstairs and retiring for the night, letting himself and Lily to have some time alone before he would apologize in the morning. He planned on doing that, but his plans changed when he heard soft voices resonating from the kitchen.

Forgetting for the moment that he probably shouldn't be seen by any guest in the house, Sirius quietly made his way towards the kitchen to see who Lily was talking to. As he stood in the doorway, his heart skipped a beat as he looked upon two very familiar faces. For a brief moment Sirius thought that the tall, skinny man with unnaturally untidy jet black hair that was now standing in the kitchen was James. He quickly dismissed the thought when the man looked up at him. This man's eyes were a crystal blue, opposed to James's hazel, and he stood several inches taller than James did and held a bit more body mass then James did, though not much more. He also lacked the pale, haunted look that those who spent time in Azkaban often wore. No, Sirius was not looking upon James, but rather his older brother.

"Jared?" Sirius asked, obviously surprised to see him standing in James's house.

Jared stared at him for a moment as he tried to identify the man who stood before him. He studied the face carefully before realization slowly dawned on him. "Sirius?" he asked. "When did you die?"

"I haven't," he answered, stepping into the kitchen.

Jared raised his eyebrows in puzzlement. "Then how're you–" he began.

"It's a long story," Lily interjected. "I'll explain it to you later."

Jared shrugged and leaned back against the counter as both Lily and Sirius took a seat at the table.

"So, what brings you this way, Jared?" Sirius asked.

"I heard from Fabian Prewett that my little brother has somehow managed to get himself chucked in Azkaban...again," he said. "I came around to see if I heard right and if there was anything I could do to help out."

"You heard right," Sirius said simply.

Jared nodded. "How?" he wondered aloud. "How does that kid manage to get himself in these sort of situations?"

"The same way he always does," Lily muttered.

"Actaeon?"

"Yup."

"Oh glory," Jared muttered under his breath. James had told him about his encounters with Actaeon before, and none of what he had heard had ever been praises. "I sincerely hope that he doesn't do anything to aggravate that man any further." Little did Jared know, however, that was exactly what his younger brother was doing.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

James heard a door lock behind him. He blinked several timed, letting his eyes adjust o the light so he could see properly. The light wasn't all that bright, actually, but after three weeks in almost complete darkness, it was enough to disorient him for a moment. As his vision cleared, he almost groaned at the sight of who stood before him: Victor Actaeon himself. James had had a shrewd suspicion when the dementors unlocked his cell door and escorted him down that hall that they were taking him to see Actaeon, but he had tried to hold on to hope that he could be wrong.

However, much to James's displeasure, he was not wrong and Actaeon was sitting before him on a high-backed leather chair, looking very smug with himself.

"Have a seat, Mr. Potter," he said coldly, indicating to a chair set across from himself that look as though it might break if anyone tried to sit upon it.

James noticed with a cold dissatisfaction that it had been an order, not a request, and he rather resented being ordered around by a man as foul as Actaeon. However, he, not yet having the energy to argue or make a snide comment, took a seat in the chair. Surprisingly, it did not break. He could feel Actaeon look over him with his eyes, no doubt taking pleasure in noting the physical effects that Azkaban seemed to be having on James. Already James had lost more weight than he could probably afford; he had grown pale and had a rather disheveled look about him. James, however took no notice of Actaeon's nonverbal inspection and instead looked toward the ceiling and pretended to study it with great interest.

Finally, Actaeon spoke. "How has your stay here been, Potter?"

James lowered his gaze and looked Actaeon in the eyes, keeping no malice that he felt for the man from his expression. "Oh, it's been quite lovely, Victor. Thank you for inquiring," he said, his voice dripping with uncontrolled sarcasm. James inwardly grinned. With no dementors in the room, he had begun to feel better than he had in ages and he was very pleased to see Actaeon looking slightly perturbed by his use of sarcasm.

"Are you ready to give me the information I desire, Potter, or do you need an extended stay with the dementors?" Actaeon snapped, annoyed that, though he showed the physical signs of staying in Azkaban, James's mind seemed not posses any of the mental effects.

James let out an impatient sigh. _So this is what its all about,_ he thought. _I should have known_. "I've told you several times now, Victor, I cannot tell you simply because I do not know. And even if I did, I would most likely lie to you and say that Sirius is currently sunbathing on the southern coast of Australia," James said haughtily, sound as though he had much better things to be spending his time with at moment.

Actaeon's eyes narrowed with malevolence. He stood up gingerly and drew his wand out of his pocket. He fingered it for a moment before looking back at James, who remained seated. 'You know, Potter, I am really getting sick of your impertinence. Do I need to remind you that with this wand I saw you weep ay my feet in an undignified display of weakness?" he said coldly, looking for all the world as though he would very much like to curse James several more times.

_Oh for crying at loud, do you ever shut up?_ the reckless voice in the back of James's mind yelled before the more sensible (though not much more) part of James responded aloud: "Weakness? Weakness is threatening a man who has no wand to defend himself with. Weakness is preying upon those who have no choice about the situation they're in. As far as I'm concerned, Actaeon, I showed no weakness. And besides," he added as an after thought. "Crying isn't showing weakness, it is displaying sensitivity." James grinned as Actaeon's expression rapidly changed before his eyes. It went quickly from anger and annoyance to an odd perplexed look, as though he knew naught what James meant by sensitivity. James leaned forward, as though he were about to divulge a great secret. "You see, Victor, about 20 years ago, I discovered that women have a certain attraction to men who are sensitive, who aren't afraid to let go of their emotions and have a good cry. Surely you know what I speak of." He paused and glanced over Actaeon. "On second thought, though, perhaps you don't."

Fury was immediately evident on Actaeon's face. Dropping his wand, he covered the small amount of ground between him and James in a few long strides. In one angry movement, he drew back his fist and let it sail forward, making solid contact with the side of James's face. James's head snapped to the side from the force of the blow. He had been completely unprepared for the sudden and reckless attack. James slowly turned to face Actaeon. He stood up slowly, not rushing his movements, ignoring the stars that danced across his vision.

"That was rather uncalled for, don't you think,_ Victor_?" James hissed, staring at Actaeon with unparalleled loathing.

"Where is Sirius Black, _Potter_?" Actaeon spat with equal vehemence.

James grinned sardonically. "Sunbathing on the southern coast of Australia," he said. Actaeon let another punch fly, but this time James was expecting it. As soon as James saw the other man's right hand begin to soar, he moved to his right and sent his own fist towards Actaeon's unprotected face. Actaeon hissed in pain and glowered at James with all the fury and hatred he could muster.

"Why can you not just back down, Potter? Why can't you give in and stop this suffering for yourself? You tell me where Black is, and you go free. Tell me where Black is, and you won't have to spend another endless night with the dementors," Actaeon spat.

"Why?" James asked with his eyebrows raised. "I believe in something called friendship, Actaeon, although I have the feeling that you don't have much experience in that area. I would never betray my friends to a twisted man like you, just as I know they would never betray me to someone like you." _Ah, but one of them already did,_ that same annoying small voice whispered in the back of James's mind. _Peter betrayed to a man even worse than Actaeon. He betrayed you to your death_. James quickly shook off the thoughts; now was probably not the time to ponder the matter of betrayal.

"Ah, but I do have friends, Potter," Actaeon spat, taking a step closer. "I have friends in very high places who can keep you locked away for years and years, if that's the case. And if you're here, who is with you lovely wife?"

"Leave Lily out of this," James snapped, very annoyed with Actaeon for stooping so low again. "She has nothing to do with this. With us."

"But she has everything to do with this, with us," Actaeon said. "Didn't I tell you? I had a nice chat with you fascinating wife the other night, over dinner, as I recall. She was quite distressed at the news of you being arrested again. Although, I must admit, she was considerably more distressed after I fucked the bitch over and over and over again." Had Actaeon known what James's immediate reaction would be, he probably wouldn't have come up with that particular lie. He had merely wanted to put James on the edge; he never thought that the younger man would react like he did.

James was immediately ignited with a pure, unfathomable fury. His eyes were wide and filled with hate as he lunged at Actaeon, knocking the man to the floor. James wrapped his right hand around the mans throat ad his left viciously pummeled the man's face. His mind was a haze of blind hatred as he continued the attack. He could feel Actaeon struggle beneath, but his only reaction was to punch harder. Actaeon's hand was groping for his fallen wand a short way awya. Relief overwhelmed Actaeon, as his wand wrapped around his wand. He pointed it at James as best je could, given his current position. "_Impedimenta!" _he croaked with difficulty, seeing as how James still had his hand wrapped around his neck. Almost instantly, James was knocked backwards off of Actaeon. Actaeon leaped to his feet, trying desperately to ignore the pain from his face, and he moved so that he was standing over James. He planted one foot firmly on his chest to keep him pinned to the floor.

"I think," he said, wincing from the pain the movement of his face caused, "that you just bought yourself another month in Azkaban, Potter. Enjoy your stay."

He removed his foot from on top of James. He looked at the younger man with distaste for a brief moment, then gave him a swift kick to the ribs, causing James to instantly double over. He then proceeded to leave the room.

James, still double over and clutching his offended ribs, heard the door shut behind him once Actaeon left, and allowed himself to moan in despair. He knew that when he heard the door open again , it would be the dementors coming to take him back to his cell for another month.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Jared sank down on the couch in his little brother's living room. He had spoken all night with Lily and Sirius about James's current situation. It was his natural instinct to try and help James, but he knew it would be futile. There was no possible way that he'd be able to break his brother out of Azkaban. All he could do was pray that James wouldn't go an make things worse for himself, which he often did, whether he meant to or not. Jared couldn't help but smile, however, as he thought about his younger brother's somewhat natural knack for attracting trouble. It had always seemed to flock towards the younger Potter ever since he learned to walk. Their parents has always wondered how their eldest managed to easily avoid trouble while their youngest seemed to constantly stumble into it.

Jared stretched out on the couch. Lily had insisted that he stay the rest of the night at her place, given the current time, and since Sirius was currently occupying the guest bedroom, Jared had been left with the couch. Not that he really minded. He stared out the window at the fading twilight and let sleep envelope him.

Jared woke around ten in the morning, not surprised to hear Lily and Sirius already awake and conversing in the kitchen. He sat up and stretched , working the remnants of sleep from his system. As he stood up, he heard a knock at the front door.

"I'll get it, Lily," he called into the kitchen, already moving toward the front door. "No need to worry about it."

He strode over to the front door and pulled it open. He was rather shocked to see a man, several inches shorter than him with an assortment of ill-colored bruises marring his face and a hand-shaped bruise around his neck, standing in front of him.

"Who're you?" he asked, although he had the distinct impression that it was not someone who should be let into the house.

The man's eyes flickered with a vague recognition. _He must know James,_ Jared thought. _Probably beat up by him too._

"Is Lily Potter at home?" the man asked, ignoring Jared's question.

"I'm not sure, it all depends on who you are," Jared said.

"Who I am is none of your business," the man said, trying to look past Jared and into the house. "My business is with Mrs. Potter, and her alone."

"I'm afraid that who you are is most certainly my business," Jared said coldly, not liking the other man's tone. "You see, I'm Lily's brother-in-law, and seeing as how her husband and my kid brother is currently being unjustly held on false charges, her business is very much mine as well."

"I need to speak with Mrs. Potter," the man insisted again.

"You need to introduce yourself before you even think about getting past me," Jared said, his eyes narrowing as he looked at the man.

"You don't understand, I have word about her husband, and your brother, consequently," the man hissed, ignoring the glare he was getting from James's brother.

"Oh? And I'm just supposed to let a random man covered in bruises into my sister-in-law's house, simply because you say you have word about James?" Jared asked. "I don't think so."

"Jared?" he heard from Lily who was still in the kitchen. "What's going on?"

"Oh, nothing," he said, not taking his eyes off the man before him. "Just some random man insisting that he speak with you. I've got it covered though."

Lily was rather suspicious of what Jared meant by "I've got it covered". She had gathered from his tone while speaking that he was rather annoyed, and Lily was sure that if whoever was at the door continued to press his nerves, then someone would get hurt. And it would not be Jared. Lily stood up from the table and headed over to the door, attempting to quell any fight that might be arising, leaving Sirius in the kitchen, alone. Again. He was getting rather sick of being left behind, and wherefore decided to take matters into his own hands. He stood up and silently shifted into his familiar dog form and followed Lily to the door, looking like the loveable stay that Lily might have taken in.

"Mr. Actaeon," Lily said when she arrived at the door. "What an unpleasant surprise. I thought I told you never to come to my house again."

Jared was slightly startled to hear the cold, unfeeling tone if his sister-in-law's voice; he hadn't thought that Lily was capable of being so cold. Apparently he was wrong, however. He quickly got over it, however, as he stared down at the man who had been the source of many problems for his brother over the past several years.

"Mrs. Potter," Actaeon said, his eyes running over Lily in a very rude manner. "Do you mind if I come in?"

Lily's face easily displayed the answer and Jared commented lightly, "Judging by the look on her face, I think she does mind. Quite a lot, actually."

"Well, then," Actaeon said. "I have come to bring you some news about your dear husband," he spat. Sirius growled at him and Actaeon noticed the bear-like dog that had accompanied Lily to the door for the first time. He eyed it warily before continuing. "It appears that you husband's arrest has not had the, er, desired effects that we at the Ministry thought hoped it might. It seems to have made Mr. Potter an even more violent person. He actually resorted to low, disgraceful forms of muggle fighting the last time I spoke with him."

Sirius growled at the man again, knowing very well that James would not have attacked him unprovoked as the man made it sound. "Get to the point, Actaeon," Lily said sharply.

"Ah, well, yes," he said, taking his eyes off of Sirius once more. "To the point. Seeing as how your husband, Mrs. Potter, was arrested for attacking a Ministry member, we thought it best that he remain detained for another four weeks."

"_What?" _Lily and Jared cried at the same time.

"You have no right to do that," Jared snapped.

"I'm afraid I do," Actaeon said, a very twisted sneer creeping over his face. "You see, you brother has adopted the habit of foolishly attacking people. I honestly think that he is quite unbalanced–"

"And Azkaban is supposed to balance him out?" Lily asked incredulously.

Actaeon ignored her and continued. "We can't have someone as unstable as him out on the streets attacking–" Who James would be attacking, they never got to find out for Actaeon had been interrupted again. This time, however, he was interrupted by the bear-like dog who had been growling at him for the past few minutes. Sirius had lunged at Actaeon, appalled that the man had the audacity to speak of James in such a way. Before anyone could stop him, he tackled Actaeon to the ground.

"PADFOOT!" Lily cried, more out of shock that Sirius would do something so reckless than actually caring whether or not Actaeon was hurt. Jared moved to pull Sirius off of the man before any serious harm could be done. He did, however, wait a few moments for Sirius to land some blows with his claws before actually pulling the dog back. He hulled Sirius back into the house, with quite a bit of difficulty, seeing as how Sirius was quite bent on causing the man as much pain as he possibly could. Finally he managed and they left Lily to deal with Actaeon.

Lily stared down at Actaeon with disgust. "I'm sorry," she said, though her tone suggested that she didn't mean it at all. "Padfoot is James's dog, and he only really listens to James. I think it's best that you be on you way now." Without another word, she shut the door, leaving Actaeon to leave them be.

Lily headed back to the kitchen where Sirius and Jared were sitting. Sirius was grinning ear to ear, looking very pleased with himself and Jared looked as though the whole display had amused him quite a bit.

"Sirius," Lily said, sitting down at the table. "That was really stupid."

"I know," he said. "But that look of terror on his face was worth it," he said, still grinning.

Jared laughed, "You have to admit, Lily, that it was rather funny."

Lily nodded. "Yeah, it was."

"You see, Lils," Sirius said, "he's terrified of me now, and probably terrified of coming back to this house. I hardly need to say that it will probably a rather long time before he ever pays you a home visit again."

Lily smiled at Sirius as the truth of his statement sunk in. She took a deep breath and had the distinct feeling that while Actaeon probably wasn't going to leave James alone, he probably wouldn't be coming around the house anymore. "Thank you, Sirius," she said, smiling at him kindly. "Your duties as guard dog have been very much appreciated."

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**final note**: yeah, i know, that probably wasn't the best way to end it, but I needed to get this posted. Once again, i apologize if you were offended by Actaeon's display of foul language. I also apologize for any typos (becasue I'm sure theres some in there); but please remember...I typed most of this at like 2 in the morning.  
Thanks to those who voiced their concerns about this fic in attempts to make it better, and thanks to those of you who faithfully review...you guys make my day 

anyway, please review, and I'll try to update soon


	12. Chapter 11

**an: **OMG! I am sooooooooooooo sorry. I don't think you guys can even begin to understand how utterly utterly sorry I am. I never meant for it too take this long. my life has been crazy, now that the school year is winding down and everything. and everything was all blech...you guys know what i mean, right? it was just one of those months were you could get nothing done but needed to everything! since you guys are so wonderful and patient, tho, you all get virtualy CHOCOLATE! for those of you who are lactose-intolerant, you all get virtual SKITTLES! and if you don't like either..than i'm sorry, but i'm out of virtual candy

**to my reviewers who I hope have not abandoned me:**

**emuerz:** i'm so sorry you had to wait so long for this chapter...i hope you like it, though  
**legolasfanxoxo:** i hate actaeon too...but he's still getting more of what's coming to him  
**pad'sgurl584: **its okay about you not reviewing...its just ahrd to do sometimes, i know...kinda like updating new chaps (lol)  
**Dante Lewis: **i knew i got Australia from somwhere...I think i saw it in your profile and thought that James should say he's there...I'll send him there for you later tho:). thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you liked Jared's intro.  
**forestofgreenjello:** you know, i have pften thought of doing much of the same things to Actaeon myself...geez, i created such an awful man (is it odd that I'm proud that i've created a character that everone hates so much?) i'm glad you liked Jared...i wasn't sure if he came off as well as i wanted him too. and i'll keep in mind the whole changing the rating thing in the future (and yur right...these new ratings are really confusing...i don't like em). I'm sorry this update was soo late  
**dweem-angel:** yes, poor james...needless to say, thats gonna be one long month for him  
**tsukimoon: **ack! i'm sorry! I'm sorry! here's the new chpater...  
**katie:** i'm sorry this took so long...but i hope its worth your wait...

**disclaimer: **last time i checked, i was still not jo...but its been awhile, let me check again... Nope...still delano...i still don't own anything...

enjoi

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Harry sat at the kitchen table, pushing his food around with his fork. School was due to start in a few days, and he was, for once, not exactly looking forward to it. He had been enjoying his solitude at Grimmuald Place. He liked being in the house, alone with Remus and Athena. Together, the three of them had been mourning Sirius, each in their own fashion. Harry had been enjoying the distance from the outside world that he had been experiencing, and did not wish to leave it. Harry knew that as soon as he went back to school, he was going to have to face all the things he had been trying to ignore over the summer. At Hogwarts, he would be unable to ignore the fact that darkness loomed threateningly over the wizarding community; he wouldn't be able to ignore the fact that an all-out war against Voldemort was sitting on their doorstep. He would be expected to play the hero again, expected to save the world and sacrifice everything that he held dear to him. He had already lost his parents, his godfather, and possibly a good part of his sanity, and he was not sure how well he'd hold up if he lost anyone else.

"My life sucks," he muttered under his breath, staring at his plate of uneaten food with disdain.

"Welcome to the club," Athena said from the threshold of the kitchen door. "Although, I have a feeling that you life has sucked long before now." She walked in and sat down across from Harry.

"Hey, Athena," he said glumly. "I haven't seen you for a couple days. What's up?"

Athena shrugged. "Not much. I was just taking care of some stuff down at the Ministry. You? And don't try and lie to me."

Harry couldn't help but smile. "I'm just not looking forward to school all that much," he said simply. "You know, I never thought I'd say it, but I would actually rather stay here, at Grimmuald Place, than go back to school."

"Wow," Athena said. "I never thought that anyone would actually _want_ to stay here. But I suppose it's understandable, given the circumstances. However," she said with a sigh, "you gotta go. I'm sorry."

"I figured as much," he said. "I still need to get my books, however."

"Remus and I already talked that over," she replied. "Later today, I'm going to drive – don't look at me like that, I can drive...well enough – you down to Diagon Alley, so you can get everything. Then you'll stay with the Weasley's at the Leaky Cauldron until the first, and they'll take you down to King's Cross. That alright with you?"

"Yeah, sure. When do we leave?"

"Well, I need to find some stuff–"

"Like what?"

"Like a car and some keys," she said with a wry grin. "So be ready to leave in a couple of hours."

Harry nodded as Athena stood from the table and left the room.

A few hours later, both Athena and Harry were ready to leave. The loaded Harry's trunk into the car and climbed in. Harry was rather hesitant; Athena had claimed she could drive, but he wasn't exactly sure she could. He was particularly nervous when Athena sat for a few moments, staring at the keys, then at the dashboard, and back to the keys again. He thought for a moment that she might have forgotten how to drive (if she even knew). Suddenly she sighed, and put the keys in the ignition and started the engine. She looked tense for a moment or so, as they slowly rolled down Grimmuald Place. As they turned the corner, however, Athena seemed to relax a great deal more, and Harry distinctly hear her mutter, "Just like riding a broom," under her breath. Athena turned on a muggle radio station that played music from the 70's and 80's. Athena, being muggle born, knew most of the songs and sang along with them subconsciously almost. Harry couldn't help but laugh when he noticed the facial expressions on Athena's face. The more she liked a song, the more amusing her face looked.

Athena looked at Harry when she realized he was laughing. "What?" she asked.

"Your face," he said, still laughing.

Athena frowned at him. "Well, you try singing _Bohemian Rhapsody_ with a straight face. You can't do it," she said, with a wry grin on her face.

They kept the mood light, constantly exchanging teasing banter, for ten minutes or so. Then Harry realized that there was something rather wrong. They should have reached Diagon Alley by now, but Harry could see no familiar sites that made him think that they were even close. Harry stared out the window for a bit, trying to find something that would indicate where they were, as he tried to ease the troubling feeling that grew slowly in his mind. _Stop it_, he reprimanded himself when he realized what he was thinking. _Athena knows what she's doing...I think._

A few more minutes passed, and Harry asked, "Athena?"

"Yeah?"

"Isn't Diagon Alley back that way?" He pointed somewhere to the left of him.

"Yup."

"Then why are we going this way?" he asked.

"We're taking a little detour," she responded. "There's something that I think you need to see."

Harry was confused. He had no idea what Athena was talking about. She claimed that she wanted to show him something, but he could not fathom what this something might be. Athena looked lost in her thoughts, so he didn't want to disturb her by asking where they were going. Besides, he doubted that she would tell him if she asked; he learned during the past few weeks that Athena liked surprises, even if everyone else didn't. Athena took a sharp turn into a parking lot and told Harry that they had arrived at their destination. Harry climbed out of the car and looked around. A graveyard. Not exactly what he had been expecting.

"C'mon, Harry," she said, waving Harry over with her hand.

"You brought me to a cemetery?" Harry asked incredulously.

"Yes."

"Any particular reason why?"

"Yes."

Harry waited a moment for her to expand on her answer before asking, "Are you going to tell me why?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Athena turned to face him. "Because it would ruin the surprise, Harry."

Harry shook his head and chuckled slightly and continued to follow Athena through the cemetery. As he walked through, he couldn't help but remembering what had happened the last time he had been in a graveyard. While the previous circumstance and this one were hardly similar, flashes of Voldemort's rebirth and Cedric's death crossed his vision. He was slightly put-off that the memories of the end of his fourth year were still so vivid; he had hoped that at least part of those memories might fade. However, he supposed, that something like watching an innocent young man die and an evil wizard regaining a body were not things that could ever be forgotten. Moved on from, yes, but not forgotten. Harry was so caught up in his thoughts that he failed to notice that Athena had stopped in front of him and walked straight into her.

"Oh, sorry," he muttered.

"Not at all, Harry," she said kindly. "This is what I wanted to show you." She pointed down to the two tombstones before them. Both had a vast variety of flowers growing around them, and Harry noted that among the flowers, lilies were the most common. Both graves looked to be very well-kept, as though a number of different people visited often. Curiously, Harry peered forward to read the names. He took in a sharp gasp of breath as he made out the names amid the flowers: _Lily Evans Potter _and _James Kristopher Potter._

"My– my parents," he said quietly.

Athena nodded. "I doubted whether Petunia ever thought to bring you here. I've met her several times, and I never got the impression that she would be the type to take her nephew to his parents' burial sites. But, I thought that these were something you needed to see."

Harry nodded; he was simply at a loss for words. He noticed that both tombstones had an inscription on them. His parents' last words, as it were. He felt very compelled to read what had been written. He sank to the ground and moved the flowers out of the way so he could better read the inscriptions. Athena seemed to know what he was doing and made no comment, but silently watched her best friend's son read his parents' last message to the world. She, herself, knew very well what was written, having visited the graves at least once a year.

Under Lily's name bore the words: _Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that._

And, under James's name, it simply read: _There are always two choices, two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it's easy._

Harry sat on the ground for a few moments, letting the words sink in. He hardly noticed when Athena sat down on the ground next to him. She let Harry ponder in silence for a few minutes– let him take in what he had read. Then she said, quietly, "Remus and I had been given the job to decide what was inscribed on your parents' grave markers. We decided that it should be something that reflected their personality, but also their outlook on life. Trust me, this was no easy feat."

When Harry said nothing, she continued. "We had decided that Lily's should embody the love and hope that she always carried with her. I don't think I had ever met anyone who managed to care and love everyone so much...even the people she didn't like, she still didn't want to see them suffer. It was so much of who she was. Although, when she did get mad at someone, she would get pretty vicious. It was always best to stay on the good side of your mother. Lily always did the right thing, simply because she knew it was the right thing to do. When it came to being nice to people she didn't like, she would do it...most of the time. I don't want you running away with the false impression that she was perfect, but she did the best she could.

"James's was more difficult, I think. Your father just embodied so many different traits around so many different people, that we had difficulty finding something that fit him just right. For quite some time, Remus and I entertained the idea of just having a list of ten or fifteen quotes inscribed. Even now, I think that it would have done your father more justice than this one does." She smiled and shrugged. "But this one does just fine. You see, James had always believed that we are made by the choices we make, and what happens to us are results of that. He couldn't stand it when people spoke of fate or preordination. He believed in the redemption of wrong choices when they were recitified with good ones. He always thought that way. He even applied it to himself on more than one occasion." She paused for a moment and studied Harry. Carefully she spoke again, "Remus told me that you saw a memory of James during our fifth year, while he was, er, tormenting Snape."

"Yeah," Harry said. "Yeah I did. I had always thought that my dad was this great man who always did the right thing. I never imagined that he would act so...so..."

"Stupid?" Athena supplied.

"Yeah."

"Well, James had this rather annoying tendency to act rather stupid, for a rather lengthy amount of time. He never really thought anything of it, I don't think. It was just part of his personality," Athena said thoughtfully.

"It was part of his personality to act like an idiot?" Harry asked.

"I didn't say that (although I wouldn't doubt it sometimes). I said that it was part of his personality to not think about what he did and how it affected other people. However, sometime during the end of our sixth year, certain events caused him to realize that his choices and how he acted affected other people in ways he never thought possible. He then made the choice to be more conscious of what he did and how he acted. And I can garuntee to you that it took a lot of him to do that, but it changed him for the better. He made the choice to go down a road in life that would change his personality forever. He had always been a man of choice. He wasn't perfect, as you said, even if he liked to think he was on occasion. He made mistakes, as we all do, Harry, and then he chose to learn from them.

"Oh, wow," she muttered under her breath.

"What?" Harry asked.

"I sound like a self-help book," she said with her wry grin across her face. "You have permission, Harry, to smack me if I ever do that again."

Harry chuckled lightly. "If it makes you feel better, what you said made a lot of sense."

"Oh, that's good. I'm a living-breathing-sense-making self-help book," she said simply.

"No, I'm being...serious. I think I needed to hear all that," he said quietly.

"Oh, good. Cause that's what I was hoping," she said somewhat earnestly. "This might sound really stupid to you, but Remus and I also took you into consideration when we were choosing what was going to be written. We wanted something of your parents to draw strength from. We wanted them to have some sort of advice to give to you. So be it if we had to write it on a gravestone."

Harry nodded. "So, are we done here? Graveyards give me the creeps."

"Yeah, sure. Molly has probably pulled her hair out worrying about you," Athena joked lightly. "I told her I'd bring by around noon, and its, what? Three o'clock now? Oh well, not much we can do about it now."

Harry laughed as they made their way back to the car. "So, Athena, where'd you get this car, anyway?" he asked as they climbed back in. His mood was a good deal lighter now that they had left the cemetery.

"I, uh, borrowed it."

"You stole it?"

"Oh, no. I wouldn't steal it. I'll leave that up to Dung," she said. "I merely borrowed. The muggle I borrowed it from has about ten, and so I don't think they'll notice that I have this one for a couple of hours."

Harry laughed and shook his head. Borrowing or stealing, he though it was rather stupid of her to take someone's car and pray that wouldn't notice.

She gave him a sharp look, "Stop laughing," she said, even though she herself was grinning.

The ride to the Leaky Cauldron was a short one, but one that Athena and Harry carried in companionable conversation. When they had finally reached the Leaky Cauldron, they both knew that it was time for them to say good-bye...even if it were just for a short while.

As Athena had suspected, Molly was worried that Harry was three hours late, but made no mention of it when she saw that he was alright. After helping Harry pull his trunk out of the trunk of the car, Athena pulled Harry into a corner for a few last words.

"Remember what we talked about, alright?" she said. She smiled at harry as he nodded. She then pulled Harry into a tight hug, one that reminded him vaguely of Mrs. Weasley's. "Harry, stay safe this year, okay? Just– just don't get dead. It was a pleasure meeting you; you have more of your parents in you then you could ever imagine." She pulled away from Harry and said her final words. "This isn't goodbye, seeing as how I'll be seeing you again soon enough. Don't hesitate to write to me or Remus if you need anything, anything at all, alright? And keep your eyes on the papers. I think that quite a few things that are of interest to you will show up soon."

With another smile and hug, Athena departed.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

James sat in the corner of his cell, huddled against himself, as visions of past horrors flashed across his mind. These images no longer held a sensible order; they merely jumped around his mind, letting one horrible incident meld with another. He was quite sure that the extra month his encounter with Actaeon had bought him would not pass quickly. In fact, he had no idea of how much time had actually passed.

His mind was no more than one big melting pot of unrelated events and dialogue. The only common threads he found in all of them is that they were times that caused him no little amount of pain. He cringed as bits of arguments or confrontations crossed his mind...

"_I fucked the bitch over and over and over again..."_

"_What have you done now, James? Can't you ever your act age for once?"_

"_I can't believe you'd do something like that! That's low...even for you!"_

"_James, just back off! I don't need you!"_

"_I hate you, James Potter! I never want to see you again!"_

The last words had been spoken by Lily. Shortly before their engagement, Lily and James got in a rather vicious argument, resulting in Lily storming out claiming that she never wanted to see James again, leaving James feeling alone and miserable. He doubted if he had ever felt worse than he had then. He loved Lily with everything he possessed. To hear someone he loved so much say such spiteful words tore him from the inside out. In any other place, he would have been able to remind himself that Lily loved him, and that they had had that argument years and years ago. He would have sought out Lily and kissed her and told her how much he loved her, simply to hear her say that she loved him too.

However, in Azkaban, he could do no such thing. He was left alone, with nothing but his thoughts. Not that his thoughts did anything to encourage him. Any happy memories that he had with Lily (and there were quite a few) were blocked from his mind in Azkaban. He could only remember the arguments he had with her – the times when she rejected him when they were younger. On top of that, the words Actaeon had said to him earlier still rang clear in his mind. He felt that he Lily down– he let Actaeon get to her. When he married her, he swore to let nothing happen to her – to keep hersafe or to die trying. He failed her...that's all he could think of. If she hated him, then he felt adamantly that he deserved it. Despite how much pain these thoughts caused, James could not drive them out. As his mind turned these thoughts over in his head, James drew his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them as if he were afraid to let goWith a miserable look in his eyes, James let out a small, choked sob.

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**final note: **so? love it? hate it? was it worth the wait? (hey...the wait wasn't too long was it?...wait, hat am i saying? it's only one day short of a month) please review, my dear readers...they make me happy 

Delano

p.s>> sorry for any typos that might have crept up


	13. Chapter 12

**a/n:** ha ha! i updated..._and _it's been less than two weeks! I feel so proud. Well, not really, but still. Anyway, just to warn y'all, this chap is a good deal shorter than most of the other one's I've posted recently. The reason? I needed something to stick here so I could get to the next chapter (which i am loking forward to writing). this basically entailed a lot of moving around ideas in my head to make sure everything works out all right. I can assure you that I hade a very large thinking cramp...lol :) also, it has come to my attention that reviewer responses are not allowed...but I won't tell if you won't...alright?

**to my lovely reviewers (well, I imagine you're lovely, b/c I've never actually seen you):  
pad's gurl584:** its so nice to havepeople understand about not being able to update...it really does  
**emuerz:** i'm glad you liked it and thought it was worth the wait  
**rockpaperscissor: **ok, I see what you mean now...I think i was a little confused last time...but I'm good now. Anywa, explaination. You're right. James wouldn't have been as affected by Azkaban as Sirius would have been... but (yes, theres the 'but' were i defend myself) I imagine that it would still affect him (for a little while, at least), particularly when he first got out. We don't get a good description of Hagrid's initial reaction when he was released from Azkaban...what he was like when he first got out, but in book three George mentions that Mr. Weasley had to go out to Azkaban once 'and he said it was the worst place he'd ever been, he came back all weak and shaking.' I suppose that James would be rather shaken up after being there for a month (now two months) and that, at first, he would have a haunted look about him. And, once again, you have a valid point with the whole Sirius being sirius (lol). I may have overdone it a bit. But, once again, keep in mind, that in book five, he was often reffered to as being moody and surly, and on her website Jo described Sirius as being 'slightly unbalanced from his long stay in Azkaban.he has never really had the chance to grow up. He was around 22 when he was sent off to Azkaban and has hadvery little normal adult life. Lupin, who is the same age, seems much older and more mature.' I dunno...I think it all comes down to a ff writer's interpretation...wow, that was really long...  
**katie:** I'm sorry this took longer than you would have liked. i'm not the best at updating, and I'll be the first to admit it. I'll try and get the next chapter out sooner for you, though.  
**forestofgreenjello:** james will be out soon...I promise...I really do. and i'm glad you liked those quotes...they were a pain in the butt to find...lol. thats part of the reason that chap took so long...I had to find those quotes. So it's nice to know that they paid off. And I'm still glad that you like Jared. You'll get to see more of him when I bring James home. and i'm glad you like the virtual chocolate too...you were the only one who mentioned it tho...hmmm...

**disclaimer:** no, unfortunately I am not Jo...i don't think i ever will be either...all characters in this chap 9other than Athena, who remains mine) belong to her, and not me

enough of my rambling. enjoi

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Athena paid the owl that delivered the paper every morning. She watched it fly off before eagerly turning to the Daily Prophet. She scanned the headlines quickly. She had been searching for a certain article since Harry had left for school three weeks ago. As of yet, however, the particular article had yet to make an appearance. However, on the second page, she spotted it. Her eyes went wide as she scanned the article. She started laughing as she read it, jumping up and down like an over-excited child on Christmas morning. 

That was how Remus found her in the sitting room at Grimmuald Place; clutching the newspaper, jumping up and down, giggling gleefully. He stood for a moment, staring at Athena as she made a fool of herself. He was quite bemused and wasn't sure what to say. He doubted if he had seen Athena quite that happy in a while, especially recently. Since Harry left for school, her mood had noticeably changed. She had started to busy herself with a number of different tasks, and was away from Grimmuald Place as much as she could manage. He had a hard time keeping up with all that she was doing, and he doubted that he even knew all of what she was doing. He smiled now, however, at the simple glee that was written all over her face.

"Uh, Athena?" he asked. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, Remus!" she exclaimed, not bothering to explain. She threw her arms around him, which was rather difficult, seeing as how she was still jumping.

"Athena, why are you jumping and giggling like a loon?" he asked again.

As he spoke, she seemed to notice how stupid she must look and stopped, pulling away from Remus in the process. She was still grinning broadly, however, and she looked rather pleased with herself. "Remus," she said.

"Yes?"

"You know how I've been really busy lately?"

Remus nodded.

"And how you've known...well, not much of what I've been doing?"

"Yeah," he said slowly, not exactly sure with where she was going.

She grinned even more. "Well, it all paid off," she said proudly.

"What?"

She turned the newspaper towards him, and showed him the headline of the article she had just been rejoicing over. He stared at it for a moment before he took in what it said. He pulled the paper from her hands and quickly immersed himself in the article. After he finished he looked back up at Athena.

"Oh my giddy aunt. This is what you've been doing?" he asked.

"Yup."

"You were trying to clear–"

"Yes!"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Remus wanted to know.

Athena grinned, again. "It was going to be a surprise," she said.

"I should have known," he mumbled. "So, is this official?"

"Not yet. They need more information, and probably public support, for this to be official," she said, pushing her blonde hair out of her eyes. "But this is a good start."

"If you don't mind me asking, Athena. Why?" Remus asked. "Why are you doing this now?"

Her smile faded a little, and her tone was slightly more serious as she said, "I don't know. Why not now? I mean, with Fudge out of office now, the Ministry is more open to what we have to say. And, well, it only seemed right that people know the truth about him. And besides, I guess this is just my way of, I don't, saying good-bye, or apologizing, or something."

Remus nodded in understanding. "Does Harry know?"

"I told him to keep his eyes on the papers. If he decided to pay any attention to me, he should know now, is not very soon," she said. "And, if he doesn't see it, someone else at Hogwarts will. And you know as well as I do how news like that travels."

"You're right. Hogwarts is a well-oiled machine of gossip. If he hasn't seen or heard about the article by now, he will very soon."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Harry sat at the Gryffindor table beside Ron and across from Hermione. Hermione was currently buried in the Daily Prophet and Ron was frantically writing a Transfiguration he had forgotten to write. He was sitting, relaxing for a few moments, as he ate breakfast. The trio sat in a companionable silence, broken by brief moments when Ron would ask Hermione about something for his essay. Suddenly, Hermione's eyes went wide; she didn't say anything but Harry could tell she was reading very quickly over an article.

She looked up from the paper. "Oh, Harry, you have to read this," she said, her eyes still very wide.

She handed Harry the paper. He took it and scanned it for the article that Hermione had been speaking of. His jaw dropped as he looked down at it. He blinked several times, making sure that he had read the headline right. "_'Shocking Breakthroughs on Black's Murders.'_ " Harry read .Almost instantly, Ron looked up from his essay. "What?" he asked, sounding astounded. Several other heads from the Gryffindor table also perked up. Ginny stood up and walked behind Harry to read the article over his shoulder. Others who had noticed what Harry said either looked through their own copy of the Prophet, found someone else who had the Prophet, or waited for Harry to speak again. Harry, however, didn't speak as he read the article. After he read the article several times silently, he read it aloud for those near by.

"_**Shocking Breakthroughs on Black's Murders: Tantalizing new evidence points to Sirius Black's innocence.** At the start of the summer, the Daily Prophet reported the return of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, as well as the arrest of several Death Eaters, and the death of convict Sirius Black. At that point in time, Black was believed to be a mass murderer and escaped prisoner of Azkaban fortress. However, a number of wizards and witches have spoken out with new and support of Black's innocence since his death._

_In the beginning of August, former quidditch star Athena Bryce affronted the Ministry with a tale of Black's innocence. She claimed that Peter Pettigrew, the one wizard killed by Black, was an illegal animagus. According to Bryce, when cornered by Black, Pettigrew , with his wand behind his back, blew up the street, cut off his finger, and transformed into a rat, his alleged animagus form. A wild tale, to be sure._

_However, she was not the only one who backed this story. Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts and Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, also spoke forth on this matter. 'When Sirius Black was apprehended in June of 1994, he revealed to me the actual events of that fatal day fifteen years ago. He told me how he, James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew illegally became animagus during their years at Hogwarts. Sirius spoke of the day of Pettigrew's alleged death, which coincides with Athena Bryce's account of the tale.'_

_Bryce, as well as others who knew Black well before his arrest, attested to several facts that might have proved his innocence. These include Black's lack of trial at the time of his arrest, as well as the part he played before his death in the Department of Mysteries last June. Nymphadora Tonks and Kingsley Schacklebolt, who was, incidently, the auror in charge of the hunt for Black, both agree that Black was fighting against the Death Eaters who had infiltrated the Ministry, rather than with them._

_However, theirs is not the only side to this case. Newton Scrimgeour, an auror who was at the scene of destruction fifteen years ago, speaks avidly against Black's innocence. 'These are the words of people who all knew Black. These were his friends, comrades and mentors. It would be folly to believe the words of people who were so close to him.' _

_This news about Black has caused a flurry of activity around the Ministry. All around people are arguing over evidence, choosing sides, and then switching, only to switch back again. Several people have had the nerve to criticize Albus Dumbledore in the process of arguing over the matter._ _They still believe in some of the rumor-mongering that had aroused last year. However, Bryce seems to have an argument over that, as well. 'That old fool who had the nerve to call himself the Minister of Magic, was spreading rumors to spread doubt about his (Dumbldore's) credibility. We all know that Fudge, the (censored), was wrong about Lord Voldemort returning, it only seems logical that he would lie about Dumbledore as well."_

_However, the fact of the matter is, there is still not enough evidence to support what Bryce seems to be avidly claiming. Without Pettigrew's body, whether he be dead or alive, we have no solid proof that Black did not murder him fifteen years ago. If Black did not, in fact, murder Pettigrew, and Pettigrew did return to serve He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, it means that one of His strongest supporters is on the loose. The Ministry urges anyone with information about these events to come forward."_

Harry stopped reading and looked up at his friends and companions. All those who did not know Sirius personally were trying to decide what they made of this news. Most of them had believed Sirius to be a large supporter of Voldemort; they had never thought about the possibility that Sirius might be innocent...that Wormtail might still be alive. Harry suddenly felt happier than he had in awhile. As the listeners departed, Harry looked over at Hermione and Ron.

"This is great," he breathed quietly.

"I know what you mean," Ron said. "It's about time someone came forward with that whole thing."

"None of us should be surprised that Athena would do something like this," Hermione said, taking the paper back from Harry. While neither she, nor Ron, had actually met Athena, they knew almost as much about her as Harry did. They had grown very accustomed to her letters that would come at odd times of the day, and her seemingly very random, but very useful advice that would grace those letters.

Harry nodded in agreement. He should have known that Athena would try and do something like this. After all, she did like surprises. Even still, however, he was amazed that she would do something so soon after Sirius's death. Harry stared in to space as he tried to contemplate the exact reason why she might have pushed for Sirius's name to be cleared. At last his mind settled on a final thought that seemed to explain it all. _A tribute,_ he thought. _A tribute to his death. A tribute to his life._

* * *

**final an:** just to let you guys know, I don't ever plan on going into journalism. So my, er, less-than-great newspaper articles will be restricted to fanfics and stupid schook assignments. Special thanks goes out to my good friend CIRCLE (lol, you know who you are) for reading that article and telling me that it didn't suck half as bad as I thought it did.  
Oh, and as an interesting side note, my lovely readers (I meant to say this last chap, but I obviously forgot): I was doing research on Roman gods and goddesses for my speech class and I found out something very interesting (well, i thought it was interesting) and rather ironic. Apparantly, in roman mythology, the goddess Diana was bathing in the middle of the woods and come creep hunter named (this is ironic about him being a creep) Actaeon went and spied on her. And in retaliation, what did she do? She turned him into a stag. I just thought that was really ironic. I didn't know any of that when I started writing actaeon's role...it kinda fits, doesn't it?  
ok, as always, thanks for reading, putting up with my, er, less than diligent updating habits and any typos that might have wormed their way in. you are now free to click the purpleblue box thing that says 'submit review' 

Delano  
p.s. I know exactly whats going to happen in this next chapter, so it should be posted..er...soon (I'm setting no dates, however, because that means that I'll break them)


	14. Chapter 13

**an:** ok...I'm gonna be breif (for once). this is chapter 13...the marvy marv chapter 13 (sorry, I'm really hyper). All I'm gonna say is that most of you have been waiting quite a bit for this chap, so I hope you like it.

**to my reviewers...:**

**emuerz:** i'm glad you like that article...I honestly did think it was all that great :) thanks for your review as always.  
**katie: **awww...did you mean that? I'm so touched. i think i might cry. its been 10 days...I hope thats soon enough for you  
**rockpaperscissor:** heh...sorry if I came off a bit strong...i just thought that i had valid reasons for what i wrote, and thought that you should know. but, just so you also know, most of what you have said I have taken to heart and tried to better this because of it  
**circle and teresa (i spelled that right...right?)**: you both replied in person, but replied nonetheless, so i thought i should say summin to you two...

**disclaimer:** ...still not jo, alright? i'm just takin everyone for a test drive

**enjoi**

* * *

The night was growing late, and Lily sat on the couch in the living room, curled up with a book. She was staring at the page more than she was actually reading, but she gave the appearance of actually doing something with her time. The last month of James's prison sentence was pretty much up and she expected him home any day now. Her anticipation to make sure that he was alright had kept her rather distracted . She wasn't the only one either. Sirius was constantly looking for things to do around the house in attempts to keep his mind off of James. His attention span had been rather short and often found himself starting one activity, then stopping, and starting another fifteen minutes later. Jared dropped by every couple of days and he and Sirius developed the habit of hibernating in James's study, searching through his books. When Jared had found out that James was arrested while trying to find ways to get Sirius back to the living world, he decided that he might as well help out while James was unable to. The only problem with this was that neither Jared nor Sirius were all that familiar with the study and had trouble finding the needed materials, not to mention that around half of the books were not written in English, including the scrolls Sirius brought back from the Department of Mysteries. 

Lily turned back to her book, trying to focus on what she was reading. Every so often she would stop and look out the window, as if she expected James to be standing outside, watching her from the window. After reading the same paragraph about ten times, she decided to give up. She stood up and stretched and put her book on the coffee table. She took a deep sigh and headed towards the kitchen for a bite to eat. She changed direction, however, when she heard the front door open.

She turned into the front hall, and had she been carrying anything at the time, she would have dropped it. Before her stood her beloved husband. He did not, however, look as well as she would have liked. He had lost a good deal of weight, and James had never been a very built man to begin with. His skin was pale and he grey shadows under his eyes as if he had not had a good nights rest in weeks. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked as though he felt out of place where he was. Without saying a word, she closed the gap between them and pulled her husband into a loving embrace. She didn't realize at the time that she was crying.

James wasted no time in returning her hug. He was overjoyed to have his wife back in his arms. She looked altogether unharmed and James was led to the conclusion that Actaeon had lied about what he had done to her. The knowledge that she was safe only led him to pull her closer. "I love you," he whispered softly in her ear. "I love you so much."

"I love you to, James. More than you could ever imagine," she whispered back.

James leaned forward and planted a passionate kiss on her lips, then smiled. "I doubt that," he said with a weak grin.

Lily smiled, albeit tearfully, back. "Oh really?" She leaned back in and returned his kiss. Once they were done exchanging kisses, they stood in the foyer, neither making any movement to move away. Lily loved the way she felt so protected in his arms and she felt convinced that she would be happy to be in his arms for the rest of eternity.

"Lily?" a voice called from upstairs, calling the couple back to reality. "Did I hear the door open, or am I hearing things now?"

Without waiting for an answer, Sirius started coming down the stairs; he stopped halfway down when he realized who Lily was hugging in the foyer. Sirius looked at the affectionate couple. He was always amazed at how much James and Lily loved each other. He was rather reluctant to break up the touching scene. "Hey, James," he said casually, bringing Mr. and Mrs. Potter back down to Earth. "How're you feeling?"

"Better than I was a week ago," James said. Sirius noticed how raspy his voice sounded, but knew from experience that that, as well as the other physical marks of Azkaban James wore, would fade with time.

Lily pulled herself, reluctantly but surely, away from James. She looked up at Sirius and the two seemed to have a silent conversation with each other without James's knowledge. Lily knew that Sirius wanted to talk with James and she knew that Sirius was really the only one who could understand what James had just lived through for the past two months. Lily wanted to understand, to help the way Sirius could, but she knew she couldn't. Sirius would help James in ways she couldn't. She would be there for him, she would subtly remind him of wonderful she thought he was and help him to move on, but she couldn't discuss the horrors of Azkaban with him, simply because she couldn't understand how terrible it really was. She understood that she couldn't understand, and she would silently stand aside and let Sirius help her husband. She looked up at James and affectionately ran her hand through his already disheveled hair. "James, honey," she said. "I'm going to go get you something to eat. I doubt if you've eaten much lately and you need to." Giving James one last peck on the cheek, she turned and headed to the kitchen, allowing Sirius and James to be alone.

Sirius finished coming down the stairs and took the time to look James over. He, like Lily, noticed how much weight James had lost and how pale he looked. He noticed the bags under his eyes and the tell-tale signs of sleep deprivation. His heart panged with sorrow as he thought of all the reasons why James wouldn't have been sleeping well.

James knew Sirius was giving him a silent inspection, and it made him feel uncomfortable. "That damn rubber ducky," he said, trying to get Sirius to stop staring at him. "I knew I should have blown it up when I had the chance."

Sirius looked up into James's face and noticed that he was smiling weakly and Sirius followed the suit. James sighed and headed over towards the living room where he sank down onto the couch. "I forgot how wonderful this couch is," he muttered under his breath, watching as Sirius entered the room just like he knew he would.

Sirius sank into one of the armchairs across from the couch. "So," he said, "how are you really feeling?"

James looked up from the couch. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that this was coming. "I don't know," he said quietly. "I'm absolutely thrilled to be out. To be able to feel happy again, but, I don't know," he repeated, trying to find the words. "I can't...I can't..."

"Shake the feeling off?" Sirius supplied.

"Yeah. I don't think I had ever felt as great as when I was holding Lily just now, but at the same time I feel...terrified that I'm going to lose her. That this is all just an illusion that my mind came up with."

Sirius nodded. He understood all too well what James meant. "Azkaban can make you paranoid," he said. "Anyone who's been there can tell you so. You get so caught up in the terrible aspects of life that you forget all the good. And then, when you get it back, you're not sure if it's real or not. You're convinced that it's temporary."

His tone had changed, James noticed, as well as the look in his eyes. It became more apparent than ever how much Sirius had ben changed by his long stay in Azkaban. The dead and haunted look in his eyes were even more pronounced and his voice had a hollow ring to it. "How did you manage it?" James asked. "You were there for twelve years, and let's face it, you've dealt with worse things in life than I have. I was only there for two months and I barely managed to hold up."

Sirius sat for a moment, trying to find the right response. "I honestly don't know," he said slowly, staring at James, hoping that he would understand more by the look on his face rather than the words coming out of his mouth. "Maybe I was too stubborn to give in. I wasn't going to accept my imprisonment, yet there was nothing I could do about it. I nearly cracked more than once. I just didn't want to give up."

"Stubbornness does account for it, I think," James said, his voice still low and raspy. "Stubbornness can save your sanity, for the most part, but it can't keep the horrors at bay. I still can't forget everything that I saw. I was so worried about Lily and you the whole time. I was convinced that something terrible was going to happen to one or both of you and that I wouldn't be able to stop it. I felt so...so alone. I kept remembering times when I was at odds with you or Lily. That fight, the one we had in our sixth year, I kept remembering that. I still can't believe how I could say things like that to you. I forgot that we got back on speaking terms with each other, I forgot that I had ever apologized for being such an ass. I did apologize, didn't I?"

"You have nothing to apologize for. I was stupid. I deserved what I got then," Sirius said. He remembered that argument as well. And, just like it had done with James, it had tormented him often during his years in Azkaban. "But I know what you mean about being lonely. You can't escape your own mind to realize that you're not alone. Although, in reality, at that point in time, I was alone. Everyone that mattered to me was dead or thought I was responsible for murder. You had people who love you while you were locked away. I guess you might have missed that feeling a bit more than I did."

"And then when you get out," James continued, his mind on the same page as Sirius's, "you still feel alone. When you realize that people still do care, there's...distance between you. They can't understand. They can't imagine to the extent that it hurts. Lily, I love her and she means all the world to me, but she can't understand what it's like, and she knows it. She'd like to, I know she would, so she could help me, but she can't. And I don't want her to. I never want her to have to go through that. I would do anything to spare her from that pain."

"But she does feel some of your pain, James," Sirius said, trying to let James know that no matter how much Lily didn't understand the experience in its entirety, she still did understand the distance and the feeling of loneliness. "Because she loves you, she feels that pain, and she wants so much to stop it. And when she finds that she can't, it does nothing but cause her more pain. She, just like you James, would do anything to spare you from that misery, but she can't."

James looked at Sirius. "You know we would do the same for you, don't you?" he asked, searching Sirius's face for the answer. "When I found out that you were being blamed for Lily's and my death, and that you were being blamed for killing Peter when Peter never died, I went ballistic. If I had known how, I would have bloody raised myself from the dead to clear your name, just to keep you out of Azkaban. You never deserved to go through that, and the fact that everyone who mattered to you thought you were guilty only made it worse. For crying out loud, I would have done anything to keep you out of Azkaban."

"I know you would have, James," Sirius said.

Neither one of them could think of anything to say, so they sat in silence, each one pondering over what the other had said. Lily heard the silence from the kitchen and decided to call James into the kitchen where she had a nice warm bowl of soup waiting for him. James came in and sat down at the table

As James ate, Lily and Sirius carried on light conversation, trying to keep the mood as light as they could manage. Eventually, they got onto the topic of the scrolls that Sirius had brought back, which were now laying in James's study collecting dust. James, who had been eating in silence until this point, jumped into the conversation.

"Did you look at the scrolls, Sirius?" he asked. "Do they have anything noteworthy in them?"

Sirius smiled. "Well, I looked at them. I looked at them for quite a bit, actually," he said wryly. "There was only one slight problem: I couldn't _read_ them."

"What do you mean, you couldn't read them?"

"They're not in English, James. Surely you realized that when you found them," Sirius said.

"Oh, right. I forgot about that. I guess I'll read them sometime later," he replied. "Did you by any chance find anything else that might help us get you back?"

"Nope, and trust me, I looked," Sirius said. "Jared helped to and we couldn't find anything, mate. Not mention half the stuff in your study isn't in English either."

"You do realize that I have notes in one of my drawers on all of the books that are in a foreign language, don't you?" James asked, feeling slightly amused at the idea of his best friend and his brother searching through his study without finding his notes on those books.

Sirius just stared at him dumbfounded. "You had notes? On all of those bloody books?" he asked incredulously. "Well, that was one month of searching for nothing."

Both Lily and Sirius were delighted to see James smile, albeit weakly, at this comment. Lily was thrilled to see her husband reacting better than he normally did when he returned from Azkaban previously. She wasn't sure whether it was the talk Sirius had had with him about an hour ago, or if it were merely Sirius's presence here, or the fact that he had something to occupy his mind with, instead of thinking about the horrors he endured in Azkaban, or a combination of the three that was having an effect on James, but she was glad for it nonetheless. She had been so worried James might come back as an empty shell almost, after being in Azkaban so long. Still, she knew in her heart, that it would be quite some time till James returned to his normal self.

Absently, she rubbed his shoulders gently as he continued to talk to Sirius, not really paying attention to what they were saying, but basking in his presence all the same. She was pulled out of her wandering thoughts when she felt James try and stand up while she was still rubbing his shoulders. Immediately, she pushed him back into his chair. "Where do you think you're going?" she asked sternly.

"I was going to go take a look at those scrolls," he said, trying to stand up again only to be pushed down once more.

"I don't think so," she said. "You look exhausted, James. You need to get some rest."

"You don't need to mother me, Lily," he said, not bothering to try and stay up again. He didn't want to admit it, but Lily was right (as usual). He had been exhausted when he arrived at home, and now that he had actually eaten a nice, warm meal, he felt even more tired.

"I think I do need to mother you, James, my dear," she said. "Seeing as how you're doing next to nothing to take care of yourself. You need to get some sleep."

James sighed, not ready to admit defeat yet. "Lily–" he began, but Sirius cut him off.

"James, you know it's pointless to argue," he said. "You know better than I do how obstinate your dear wife is."

Lily beamed at Sirius. "Thank you," she said brightly to him, glad that he was taking her side. She tried to stifle a grin as she watched James yawn widely, only proving her point. "You see, love, you are tired," she said. "Now go upstairs and get some sleep." her tone was gentle and caring, but left no room for argument.

James finally admitted defeat and stood up. He turned and embraced Lily, holding her in his arms a little longer than was normal. He said goodnight to both her and Sirius, and Lily promised that she would be up in a little while. Sirius watched the whole scene quietly, glad that his best friend had married someone who cared about him so much. Sirius waited until he was sure James was safely upstairs and out of earshot, before he turned to Lily. With a wry grin on his faced he asked, "So, how badly did you drug his soup?"

Lily pretended not to know what he was talking about. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Sirius."

"Oh, come off it, Lily. You weren't going to risk him not being able to get a good night's rest. You drugged his soup with something. I know you did," Sirius said.

"It was just a little sleeping potion," she admitted. "Nothing with any lasting effects. He probably didn't even notice it was in there."

Sirius chuckled. "I would have done the same thing," he said. "You're just taking care of him. Just like he takes care of you."

Lily leaned back against the counter. "Do you think those scrolls have what you need in them?" she asked.

"They bloody well have," he said. "I won't have James getting arrested for something completely useless. Besides, James seems pretty confident that they're what we need."

Lily nodded in agreement. "It'll keep his mind off of things for a good while, least ways,' she said. "Even if they do turn out to be pretty useless."

She and Sirius continued to talk for a half hour or so, until Lily decided that she was going to turn in for the night. She went upstairs into the bedroom she shared with James. James, it appeared, was already asleep. He laid on his side, slightly curled, under several blankets. He looked so peaceful and serene that Lily was glad the potion she had spiked his dinner with was working so well. She quietly changed into her pajamas, being careful not to disturb James. She climbed into the bed and curled up next to James. She draped her arm around his torso, pulling him close to her. She let her leg intertwine with his, silently telling him that she was there, even if he wasn't awake to realize it. James, subconsciously or not, Lily was not sure, reached over and gripped the arm she had around him gently. Lily sighed with contentment, once again feeling positively thrilled to have James back home. After professing her love to him one last time, the two fell asleep together for the first time in two months.

* * *

**final an:** you know how that first an was really short? thats b/c I have some stuff to explain down here. ok, I was sitting around thinking yesterday (yes, I can think), and I realized, I have about 4 or 5 more _planned_ chapters left. thats if anything goes smoothly. So, I think I'll be posting with in every 10 days, from now on, because I'm trying to get this done by the time HBP comes out (51 days, y'all). Now, keep in mind, I'm going to be travelling a lot over th summer, so I'm just hoping to get it all out by then...but nothing is going to change after HBP comes out and this isn't done yet. Also, my marauder era fic (which is still under heavy, heavy construction and still needs a title) will most deffs be coming out after HBP. I'm afraid that there'll be a bunch of stuff about james and lily and all them that i might want to know before I post anything that'll be in HBP, so I'll be reading that first and adapting what I have to fit it. 

Anyway, thank you for reading and putting up with my typos ( i tried to get rid of them, honestly). thanks to circle for pre-reading some of this again...it means a lot, mate...later (expect to hear from me again in ten days)

Delano


	15. Chapter 14

**AN:** its been ten days...right on schedule. I'm so proud, aren't you:) Anways, real quick, this chapter is dedicated to 3 people. 1) Cirlce, to celebrate her brithday (which was actually week...) 2) Foble, because today is actually her brithday...lol. and 3) Whalen, for being a bloody genius and getting me out of a rut in which James sat in the kitchen for thre rest of eternity. lol

**reviewer responses:  
emurez and katie:** you two were my only reviewers for the last chap. thank you, yur reviews mean a lot to me. you two get virtual chocolate for always reviewing :)

**disclaimer**: I am mortally afraid of lawyers (even tho my dad is one). In particular, Jo Rowling's lawyers. I do not own anything Potter related, unfortunately, might I add. All I own is jared and the plot.

* * *

The next morning, James slowly fadedinto consciousness. He made no effort to get out of bed for several moments, but simply lay there with his eyes close, taking in the familiar sounds and smells of his home. To say that it felt nice to be home was most definitely an understatement. He was convinced that now everything would be okay; he'd be with Lily and they would find a way to get Sirius back to the living world, despite how much they both liked his company. Everything would go back to normal, or at least as normal as he liked them. With his eyes still closed, he rolled over to tell Lily how he was convinced that things were going to be back to normal, only to find her gone.

Instantly, his eyes flew open to find his room deserted. Lily was nowhere in sight. Desperately, he tried to tell himself to be calm, but haunting memories of disputes between him and Lily kept creeping up from the back of his mind. He was half-terrified that he had perhaps dreamed up last night with Lily. James stumbled out of bed, grabbing his glasses from his bedside table as he did so. He walked out into the hall, still seeing no sign that his wife had been around. "Lily?" he called out tentatively.

There was no reply.

"Lily?" he asked, slightly louder. Still receiving no reply, he called again, louder still, "Lily, love, are you around?"

He rounded the corner to head down stairs right as Lily did. He was taken back a bit. He hadn't suspected her to be right there.

"What is it James?" she asked when he didn't say anything.

James didn't answer her question but wrapped his arms around her. "I thought I had lost you for a moment," he murmured softly into her hair, not expecting Lily to actually hear what he said. Lily, however, did hear him. Sorrow, followed by a small surge of anger pulled at her heart. She hated, absolutely detested the effect that Azkaban had on James. More particularly, she hated Actaeon for sending James there on multiple occasions. _I'm going to kill that son of mother one day,_ she thought as she wrapped her own arms around James, holding him tight. After waiting a beat, she pulled away.

"Come on," she said, smiling lovingly up at James. "Jared got here about ten minutes ago and has been dying to see how you are."

James followed Lily down into the kitchen were Jared was sitting over a bowl of cereal, reading something that he had obviously picked up from somewhere else in the house. James smiled slightly at the sight, which was a very familiar one to him. James couldn't count how many times he had awaken during the school holidays to see his older brother sitting at the table eating and reading at the same time.

Jared looked up as he heard people enter the room. His face lit up when he saw his little brother enter the room with Lily. "James!" he cried exuberantly.

"Jared!" James said, trying to match his brother's enthusiasm but not quite making it.

Jared stood up and walked around the table to embrace his brother. He probably would have vaulted over the table to get there quicker, if he hadn't thought that he would probably break something in the process. Jared wrapped his arms around his thin brother and patted him heartily on the back. James returned the embrace briefly, before pushing his brother away.

"I've had enough hugs for the time being, thanks," he said in explanation.

Jared smiled and sat back down. James and Lily did the same. "So, how're you feeling?" Jared asked. James opened his mouth, about to reply, when Jared said, "Don't answer that. It was a rather stupid question."

"Very stupid," James replied.

Every time he came home from a term in Azkaban, he had this same conversation with Jared. It was more of habit to say what he did more than what he actually felt. Jared seemed to know as much, but never bothered to make James tell him. Jared knew very well that James was the type of person who would come to you when they needed anything; you couldn't force them into it. He knew not to push James into talking about Azkaban, because he knew James wouldn't appreciate it.

Neither Jared nor James were all to sure of what to say next and they lapsed into a companionable silence. Lily had left the room, and had headed back upstairs. Her excuse was that she was going to go shower, but James was left with the impression that she wanted him and Jared to 'talk'. That, however, didn't seem like it was going to happen anytime soon. James got up and fixed himself some breakfast. It wasn't a big meal, simply because he didn't have all that much of an appetite. He sat back down and started eating. Still more silence.

James was watching Jared as his eyes went wide. He could tell that he was scanning the page very quickly, and, more than likely, multiple times. Jared's eyes, if possible, went even wider, and he started banging his hand on the table. James was sure he was trying to say something, but, seeing as how Jared's mouth was still full of food, he was quite unable to. James thought it was rather amusing to watch, and started to say fitting things like, "What is it, boy? Come on, spit it out!" in obnoxious tones.

Jared finally managed to swallow his food, which was made difficult as he started to choke on it for a moment. He coughed and then managed to gasp out, "Oh! My Lard!"

James blinked. "Did you just say 'Oh my lard?'" he asked, with an amused look on his face.

"No," he replied defensively.

"I think you did," he said.

Jared rolled his eyes. "Ok. I said lard," he said impatiently, caving in to his brother's madness. "That's not the point."

"Well, what is the point?"

"I'd get to it if you'd quit interrupting me!" he snapped. "Anyway, as I was trying to say–"

"You were trying to say something? I thought you were just slapping the table for the heck of it," James with amusement.

Jared glared at him. "This book!" he said enthusiastically. "There's a reference."

James looked at him to elaborate. "A reference on what?"

"On the Veil. It says something about using the Veil as a, I don't know, a method of communicating and transporting, I think. This isn't written in the best of English," he muttered. "I think this might be what we need!"

James grabbed the book and pulled it over to him. He quickly scanned the passage Jared had been talking about. Instantly, he recognized it. He had read this book months before Sirius had shown up. He had been convinced that this might be the key to finding a way to somehow communicate with the Living world. He found out weeks later that it was only the key to the key. In fact, it was this book that led him to learning about the scrolls in the Department of Mysteries. That reminded him. The scrolls...

James shook his head at Jared. "I read this ages ago. It doesn't work. But I really think those scrolls might. This book and several others mention the use of scrolls, and I'm pretty sure those are the ones they're referencing to."

Jared nodded. He had completely forgotten about the scrolls. After discovering that they were in some form of ancient Latin (or at least he assumed it was Latin) and that he was unable to read them, he had pushed them far from his mind, letting things that he could actually read occupy his mind. "Have you read those scrolls yet?" he asked.

James shook his head with a small smile. "I was going to last night," he replied. "But Lily made me go to bed. She mothers me."

Jared grinned at his brother. He honestly doubted if, after all the times James had been sent to Azkaban before, he had ever handled it better than he was now. He knew that James would, in fact, still be feeling the effects deep within himself, but he was putting on a pleasant face for the rest of the world. Jared wasn't sure what had brought this about, but was grateful for it, nonetheless. "You need to be mothered," Jared said. "For all the scrapes you manage to fall into. I mean, honestly, how do you manage to get yourself arrested so often? I swear, it must be some sort of record," he teased.

James, having eaten his last bite of breakfast, stood up haughtily. "If you're going to mock me," he said in a serious tone, "then I'm going to leave, you lousy ingrate." James turned on his heel and walked out of the room in a mock-arrogant manner.

Jared chuckled and shook his head. _Typical of James,_ he thought. _He goes through Hell for two months, and still finds something to joke about. _It was an admirable quality, one that Jared didn't share with his brother. He looked to the door that James had just left, half expecting a pillow to come hurtling through it to hit his face (James had been fond of throwing pillows at his brother when he was younger). Jared shook his head again. James obviously had better things to do then throw things at him. No doubt he was in his study right now, pouring over the scrolls. Jared expected that James would come out shortly, to ask him about something, or to run a theory past him, as he often did. But little did the older Potter know, James would not come out of his study for several more hours.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

James, it was apparent by the afternoon, had no intention of coming out of his study until he had figured out was in those scrolls. Neither Lily, Jared, nor Sirius (when he finally woke up) saw any sign of him in the house for hours. Lily and Jared seemed to be rather concerned about his behavior, but Sirius wrote it off as typical James behavior.

"You two weren't around when we were on the verge of finally figuring out how to become Animagi," he explained. "He spent all of his time in the library, pouring of numerous books. And, if you tried to talk to him, more than likely he would hex you. Trust me, just don't go in his study."

Lily did take Sirius's word, having had her own experiences with James when he was trying to figure something out. Jared, however, did not. He, against the warnings both Sirius and Lily, tried to have a conversation with James. He came out of James's study not a minute later with his hair a vibrant shade lime green. Sirius spent a good five minutes laughing at him, telling him that he should have listened. Lily went into the study around lunch and left him some food to eat. She said that she doubted if he even realized she was in there at the time, he was so immersed in the scrolls.

It wasn't until an hour after sunset when James finally came out. And, just as Sirius had predicted, he came out after having finished translating the scrolls and formed some fort of idea.

James came sliding into the kitchen across the wood floor. In his arms he had one of the two scrolls and a roll of parchment that probably had notes scrawled on them. His eyes were wide and he looked thoroughly excited. "I," he said dramatically, swinging his left arm in front of him as he skidded to a halt in the kitchen, "have had an epiphany to top all epiphanies!"

"You're also making an arse out of yourself," Jared said snidely, still mad that his hair was bright green. James paid him no attention.

"I don't think what you've had is an epiphany, mate," Sirius said, smiling. "Seeing as how you just read something. You didn't really come up with any groundbreaking idea; someone came up with it for you."

"Shut up, Sirius," James said. "Anyway, if certain people in this room will stop making themselves look stupid," he stared pointedly at his brother and best friend, "I will continue."

"Go ahead, James," Lily said. "Tell us all about this alleged epiphany."

"Alright," James said, putting the scroll and his notes down on the table. "According to this, there is most definitely a way to get items, or people, in our case, to the other side of the Veil. Of course, scrolls like this are much to cryptic to just bluntly state how to do it, so I had to cross reference a bunch of stuff that took way to long. From what I can tell, though, is that things from the Living world can be sent _back_ through the use of a rather complex spell."

A smile broke out across Sirius's face again. He, if James wasn't pulling his leg, was going back home. He was going to go back were he belonged. "Are you serious?" he asked. "What's the spell? How do you do it?"

"Uh, well, that's where we hit a small problem," James said, looking down at his notes. "Everything that I've read indicates that at least part, if not all, of the spell has to be cast from the Living world. See, here," he pointed down at the scroll to a certain passage. "It says _'And from the Shadowed Veil there holds a path of which the Living may use. And if the Living shall fall and wander with the Dead, there is yet hope for salvation, for it is not yet their time. Through the use of Great Powers may the Living be brought back, only if it is the desire of others amongst the Living to receive them again.'_ And in some other text that I read ages and ages ago, its says something along the lines of," he looked down at his notes again, " _'Those who wander among the Dead may find a path back home if the Living's need of them is stronger than the Dead's'_ or something like that."

"So all we need to do is find a way to get a hold of someone who's still alive and have them set up this spell, or whatever, and I'll be home again?" Sirius asked.

"Pretty much, yeah," James said nodding.

"Well, doesn't that kind of take us back to square one?" Sirius questioned. "We don't have any clue on how to communicate with the Living, do we?"

"Erm, yes," James said, somewhat dejectedly. "But, I'm convinced we can find a way to get it done."

Sirius, Lily, and Jared all nodded in agreement, but each of them were silently taking figuring the odds that they would find a working method to let someone in the Living world know what was going on. The odds weren't good. None of them, however, wanted to crush James's stubborn determination just yet. Instead of bringing James back to reality, they all agreed to help him search for the proper method of communication.

That is how they spent their next week. Searching through an assortment of ancient books, and even more ancient scrolls. Sirius and James in particularly worked endlessly searching through the texts in hope that they might find something. They never did, however, and as the days wore on, the prospects were looking less and less likely. Neither of them were going to admit how grim the situation was beginning to look. Sirius had confided in James during the long hours of searching through texts in the study that he was still having dreams about not being where he was supposed to be. The dreams had worsened in severity since the last time he had talked to James about them, but at the time he had been more preoccupied with James's arrest to actually think about what the dreams meant. It was evident to both of them that Sirius needed to go back as soon as they could possibly manage.

Despite everything, though, their luck took a sudden, and very welcome, turn at the end of the week. Both James and Sirius were sitting in the living room with a large number of books scattered around them. They had been searching for the last three or four hours, after having taken a break for dinner, and were considering calling it a night.

With a heavy sigh, Sirius picked up one last book. He was sure that he had probably already looked through it before, but didn't seem to really care. One more time couldn't really hurt, could it? He placed the spine of the book on his knee and let it fall open to a random page. He skimmed the page, but found nothing that even hinted at being useful. He was about to turn the page when he decided he needed a change of pace, and turned the page backwards. Whether fate had led him to it, or if it had been sheer dumb luck, Sirius did not know, but he had, in fact, turned to the one page in every single book he had looked at that actually had useful information on it.

"Oh my giddy aunt," he breathed as he read the page. Of everything lucky that had ever happened to him, he was convinced, at this very moment, this was the luckiest.

James, who had heard Sirius's comment, looked up. "What? What did you fine?" he asked.

"Read this, mate," Sirius said, handing James the book and pointing to the particular passage. The passage told of a spell that would allow a simple object, a piece of parchment or a small trinket, to move across planes of existence. In other words, it would allow a note with information from certain ancient scrolls on it to cross from the Realm of the Waiting to the Living world. It was exactly what they needed.

"Sirius, if we could pull this off, it would be the most brilliant thing we have ever done," James said, looking up as he finished reading the passage. "This has to be the most complex, not to mention bizarre, spell I have ever heard of."

"What?" Sirius said with a slight air of teasing. "Are you not up to it? Is it too much for the great James Potter to handle?"

"Not at all," James replied. "I was just making sure an old man like you would be able to manage it."

James and Sirius both grinned at each other. This was the type of thing they loved best. Trying the virtually impossible, just to prove, in fact, that it was possible. It almost felt as if they were back at Hogwarts again, planning some great, unheard of prank, just to prove to themselves that they could do it.

"One problem," Sirius said, as he started to think about how they were going to go about this spell. "How're we going to convince Lily to let us do this?"

"Oh," James said. "That is a problem. But, I think, if we try the spell together, it would take less energy on both our parts, so she might be willing to go along with it."

Sirius nodded. He and James stood up and headed into the kitchen where Lily was reading a book. When they entered the room, she immediately knew that they were up to something; something she wasn't going to like very much, either. She looked up at the two of them and waited patiently for the to explain what they were about to attempt to accomplish. When they were done, she had to admit, it was the most absurd thing she had ever heard. The spell they were talking about doing, under her own roof, no less, was immensely complex and would, more than likely, drain the wizard casting it of their energy for days. There was no way she going to let them try this.

"There is no way I am going to let you try this," she said stubbornly. "This is the stupidest thing you two have ever suggested doing! You don't even know if it will work!"

"Lily, calm down," James said calmly and rationally. "This might be our only chance to get this information over to the Living world."

"I don't care," Lily snapped. "Even if you two cast the spell together, it will drain you both for days, at least! And who knows what else might happen! This is serious magic you're trying to mess with, here."

"I know," Sirius said. "We both do. But, Lily, listen to me. We have been searching through those books for nearly a week now, and this is the only thing we've found. If there was any other way, I swear, we'd do that instead. But there isn't. This is the only way."

"Only way, my arse!" she snapped again, causing both James and Sirius to take a step back. Lily was not a person to cross when she was riled, and both men knew it. "I will safely bet my child's life that there is some other way to communicate, Sirius Black, and do not try and tell me otherwise."

James waited a moment, planning carefully what he was going to say. "Lils," he said quietly. "We _could be_ betting our child's life on this. The main reason Sirius and I have been trying to find a way back for him is so he can be there for Harry. He needs to be there so our son, Lily, our only son has someone to look after him. If Sirius is here, who knows what could happen to Harry?"

Lily looked at James with a thoughtful and contemplating look on her face. "Fine," she finally said. "I'll let you two do this, but it's to benefit Harry. Not so you can prove to yourselves that you can do this."

"Ah, Lily," James said, leaning in and giving Lily a hug. "I love you. You're the best."

Lily pushed James away gently. "I'm not happy about this, you know," she said. "Now hurry up and do this before I change my mind."

Immediately, James and Sirius set to work. James copied the needed information onto a spare piece of parchment, and Sirius started to ready the room to cast the spell. The spell was an ancient one, and it involved a good deal more than waving a wand and muttering an incantation. There were several steps that had to be taken before the spell could even be attempted. He and James would both have to be in certain spots in the room, and go through the steps in proper order to even hope that the spell might work. Lily watched from the side of the room as James and Sirius prepared.

"I can't believe I'm letting you do this," she muttered under her breath as both Sirius and James were finishing up. "In my own kitchen, no less. I must have truly lost my mind."

"You about ready?" Sirius asked, as James set the parchment down in a spot that would be directly in between the two of them.

James nodded, and stepped back into the place Sirius had indicated where he should stand. He took a deep breath and looked from Lily to Sirius. "Well, here goes nothing," he said. He then started to chant a long-winded incantation that the book had specified. He wasn't even quite sure what he was saying, but made sure that he said it correctly. After a minute or so of chanting, Sirius took over, finishing up the first half of the incantation. The second half of the incantation, they had already decided, they would both say. The second half was, in fact, shorter, but involved several flourishing wand movements and involved most of the power for the spell to work. Taking a deep breath at the same time, they started to chant the second half. Lily watched from the side of the room. The scene was almost breath taking. She could actually feel the power that James and Sirius were bringing into the room in order to dispel a simple piece of parchment. She watched as both men performed the wand movement in perfect synchronization.

Then, they both stopped chanting. There was a blinding flash of white light and an excruciatingly loud _bang_. When the light cleared, Lily looked to see if James and Sirius were okay. They were both still standing, at the moment, though they were swaying on their feet, looking thoroughly exhausted and drained. Lily then looked to see what had become of the parchment. To her disappointment, she saw it floating down from the ceiling back towards the floor where James had placed it. Sirius and James had both noticed it as well. They watched as it slowly fell towards the floor. A moment or two after the parchment finally landed, Lily watched as both James and Sirius collapsed backwards into a dead faint.

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It had been two days since their attempt at communicating with the Living world, and Sirius and James were still utterly exhausted. They had really hoped that the spell would work, but it just backfired on them, not only leaving them drained and tired, but also back to where they started from: How to communicate with the Living.

James and Sirius were sitting in the study, bouncing ideas off of one another on where to go from where they were. Neither of them had any great ideas, and they were starting to feel that they might never really get Sirius back, though neither of them admitted it out loud. James was leaning back in his chair, staring at the ceiling as though it were about to give him some brilliant idea. He hadn't moved in about ten minutes, whereas Sirius couldn't seem to sit still for ten seconds. He needed to move around (not that he had energy to do so) to get his mind to start working. With a sigh, he settled back into his chair across from James's desk, propped his feet up on the desk, and shoved his hands in his pockets.

His right hand grasped on to something hard deep within his pocket. Curiosity overcame him when he couldn't quite figure out what it was, so he took it out. It was one of the two-way mirrors; he had one, and he had given Harry the other at Christmas. He must have had the mirror in his pocket when he fell through the Veil. He smiled reminiscently as he thought of all the times he and James had used the mirrors.

"Hey, James," he said, breaking the silence they had been sitting in. "Look what I found in my pocket."

James looked down from the ceiling, half expecting Sirius to be holding a little bit of fluff. His eyes widened, however, when he saw what was in his hand. The mirror! Sirius had one, so the other must be somewhere in the Living world! "Sirius," James gasped. "You are a bloody genius!"

* * *

**final an:** alright, for the next update. It might not happen with in ten days for two reasons. One, next week is final exams week at my school, so I think I should study. I will be writing when I get the chance, however. Two, in then days from now, I will be out of town, away from my beloved computer and unable to update. So, I will either update early, or when i get back into town. But, just so I don't throw this schedule off, the chap after this next chap will be posted in 20 days. 

alright, as always, please forgive my typos, and please review

Delano


	16. Chapter 15

**an:** ok! I think I deserve some chocolate! It's actually been less than a week, and I managed to write this during exam week! I feel dso proud

**reveiwer responses:  
emuerz:** thanks for wishing me luck on my exams...I think i did pretty well on them. As for your question, and surprisingly you were the only one who asked. i thought more people would mention it. At the time Harry called for Sirius in the mirror, Sirius was wearing a different set of robes. The mirror was in the pocket of the robes he wore when he fell through the Veil. Since it wasn't in his pocket at the time, he didn;t know Harry had called for him.(i kno...ots kind of a lame excuse...)  
**luna:** thanks for reveiwing, and for wishing me luck on my exams (i think i might have needed it). i'm sorry at stopped at the most interesting part, but it had to be done, otherwise it would have been the neverending chapter...lol. but, here's the coninuation for you :)  
**rockpaperscissor: **you? abandon me? I would never think such a thing:) i'm glad that chap made yuo think ahead...its good for you.. I'm not going to really sort anything out for you, b/c it might ruin the ending (and part of this chap). But, just so you know, I'm not the type of person to create overly-happy endings.  
**dweem-angel: **thank you for reviewing. I'm glad you saw the odd humor in them searching through everything, only to have the mirror be in his pocket  
**Dante Lewis:**thank you for reveiwing. it was a long review too...I don't get many of those. I'm glad you appreciated how i showed both James/Jared and Sirius/James's relationship. About the spell they tried. For that particular spell, there has only been one instance when it has actually worked. If Sirius had kept reading, he would have known that, and known not to try the spell. On the page before the one Sirius read, there was information on to specify where the object went, but Sirius didn't read that pageeither. And actually, i think the fact that it took Sirius so long to find the mirror proves that he changes...he just doesn't luander...lol  
**katie: **is this early enough for you? just don;t get spoiled, b/c this is a one-time thing...i almost never update this quickly.  
**legolasfanxoxo:** the 'oh my lard' incident actaully comes from a friend of mine. we were on the phone, and i could have sworn she said that...she gave me the idea that i should that i should tie it in there...I'm glad i have reignited yur hope for the use of the mirror.

**disclaimer:**...still not Jo (sob)...

* * *

Remus Lupin snapped back to reality as people around him started to stand up and move around. _I take it the meeting's over,_ he mused silently. He had been sitting in the kitchen at Grimmuald Place during a meeting for the Order, but found that his attention span was rather short that night. The previous night had, in fact, been the full moon, and he was still feeling some of the more negative effects of it; namely overwhelming fatigue. Remus pushed himself up out of the chair and headed towards the door. Several people stopped him to ask him how he was feeling and he simply said he was feeling fine, albeit tired, which was true, to an extent. 

He made his way out of the kitchen, past the front hall, and was trying to make his way upstairs without anyone else stopping him. All he really wanted to do was to lay down and sleep, even though he had been sleeping all day as well. He had made it all the way to the second floor hallway when Athena caught up with him.

She reached out and put her hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Remus," she said grinning as he turned around. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm fine," he said automatically. "I'm just a little tired."

Athena looked at him as if he had grown an extra head. "You are such a terrible liar," she claimed. "You look awful."

"Thanks," he replied. "Your moral support means a lot to me."

"I take it you had a rough night last night," Athena commented.

"Worse than some, better than others," he said simply, not exactly wishing to elaborate.

"Well, by the looks of it, I'd say it was worse than most, but I guess I wouldn't really know," Athena said. "You did take the Wolfsbane Potion, didn't you?"

"Yes, but it only alleviates some of the symptoms. I'm stuck to bear with most of them," he replied. _Just let me go,_ he pleaded silently. _I want to sleep._

Athena nodded. "I just wanted to check how you were feeling before I left," she said. "From the blank expression on your face for most of the meeting, I think you might have missed the part about me leaving for a couple days."

Remus nodded. He had, in fact, missed that part of the meeting.

"Anyway, I'll be back in a couple of days, try not to get too lonely," she teased. "Get some rest while I'm gone, too. You look like you need it."

"I do need it. I'll see you in a couple of days," he said with a smile. Athena nodded again, and headed back downstairs.

Remus wandered down the hall after Athena left. He had plans to retire to the room he had claimed as his own in Grimmuald Place and quite possibly staying there for the next week. He walked past the room Harry had stayed in over the summer and noticed the door was ajar. For some reason unbeknownst to him, Remus pushed the door open and walked inside.

The room looked very much the same as it had when Harry was occupying the room. Some of his belongings had been left on the floor; things he hadn't needed for school. Remus passed all these items by and walked over to the window. He looked up at the night sky through the window, taking in its strange beauty.

When he was younger, before he had been bitten, he would often stargaze with his father. In the years after the bite, however, he had always detested the night sky. It was a symbol to him of all the pain and suffering he had to endure. It wasn't until after he started Hogwarts that he started stargazing again. It had taken his friends to help him realize the sky was not as dark and terrible as he had pictured it, but rather a thing of mysterious beauty. It had been Sirius, he recalled, who really seemed to understand the meaning of the night sky.

The night sky, according to Sirius, was created for two reasons. One was to help man understand how insignificant his problems really were. "How can someone look up into the sky at night, and still think that their life is so terrible?" he would say. "You look up, and you feel so small. You feel so tiny when you think about how you were brooding because you rowed with your friends. You realize how trivial things like that are." As for the second reason, well... The second reason for Sirius was simply to give a home to his namesake, Sirius, the Dog Star, and the brightest star in the sky, as he had been prone to constantly remind his friends.

Thinking of the Dog Star, Remus looked up into the sky, and searched for it. It wasn't long until he found it. It was the brightest star in the night sky, after all. Although, as he looked at it, he wasn't sure if it was just him or not, but Sirius did look quite a bit brighter than it ever had before. Remus smiled reminiscently as he thought of Sirius, the person, not the star. It had always been an adventure just to hang around Sirius; people like Sirius kept the rest of the world on their toes. He missed that feeling of never knowing what was going to happen next. Remus sighed. He missed his friend.

Remus yawned and remembered how tired he was. He turned on heel and made his way out of the room when something on the floor caught . The moonlight glinted off what looked like a shard of glass on the floor. Puzzled, Remus walked over to it and picked it up. To his surprise, it was not a shard of glass but a piece of a broken mirror. Even more surprisingly, there were more pieces of the shattered mirror scattered around the floor.

He pulled out his wand. "_Reparo,_" he said with his brow slightly furrowed.

The mirror fixed itself. It was about the size of a small paperback book, old, and rather dirty, and it looked rather familiar, though Remus couldn't quite place where he had seen it before, or if he even had seen it before. Remus chewed on his lip thoughtfully as he tried to place where he had last seen this particular mirror. He reached over and grabbed a crumpled-up piece of parchment that had been near the mirror shards. He unfolded it read the note.

_This is a two-way mirror. I've got the other._

_If you need to speak to me, just say my name_

_into it; you'll appear in my mirror and I'll be _

_able to talk in yours. James and I used to use _

_them when we were in separate detentions._

Remus instantly identified the writing as Sirius's, and was able to piece together what had happened. Sirius must have given the mirror to Harry sometime during the last school year. When Sirius passed through the Veil, Harry must have tried to use it to communicate with Sirius, then broke it when the attempt failed. And no wonder the mirror had a familiar look. He couldn't recall the number times he had seen either Sirius or James pull out the mirror when the other was in detention, most of the time to ask a really stupid question and make the detention more bearable.

Remus chuckled as he remembered one such occasion when Sirius had pulled out his mirror to ask James what men with beards, more particularly moustaches, did when their nose started to run. Remus closed his eyes and shook his head, as he had been prone to doing when he was at school, and muttered "Sirius" under his breath

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"_Sirius, you are a bloody genius!"_

"I am?" Sirius asked, not quite sure what James was getting at.

"Yes, you are!"

"'Course I am," Sirius said, still not sure why James suddenly declared him a genius. "Why am I genius again?"

"The mirror, you dolt," James said impatiently. "Who has the other one?"

Sirius finally saw what James was getting at. "I gave it to Harry last Christmas. Just in case he needed to talk to me, you know."

James nodded. "Say his name in the mirror. We need to talk to someone," he said.

"Why me? Don't you want to talk to your son?" Sirius asked.

"I'm dead. Who knows if it works the same if one of the users is dead?" James said with an air of impatience. "You're alive. We know it will work."

"Right. I forgot about that," Sirius said.

"Get on with it," James snapped.

"Well, I would if you would stop interrupting me," Sirius said with mock aggravation.

James scowled, and Sirius grinned.

"Har- "he began, but he stopped suddenly when another face appeared in his mirror. Sirius blinked several times as he looked at Remus Lupin's prematurely-lined face in his mirror. "Remus?" he asked.

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Remus opened his eyes and looked down at the mirror when he heard his name called. Sirius's face was looking up at him in bewilderment. Remus's eyes went wide as he realized what he was looking at. Somewhere between surprise and terror, he yelled out something incoherent that sounded like "GWHUA!" and dropped the mirror.

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Sirius snorted as he watched Remus's reaction to him in the mirror. Across the desk, James raised his eyebrows to see what Sirius had found to be so funny.

"Remus has the mirror," said Sirius in explanation.

"I thought you gave it to Harry," James said.

"I did. I don't know how Remus got it," Sirius said. "Anyway, I think he must have dropped the mirror, or something, because he's not answering, not to mention I'm getting a lovely view of the ceiling in one of the rooms in Grimmuald Place." Sirius looked back down at the mirror. "Remus?" he called again. "Remus John Lupin. Lupin John Remus. Moony?"

As Sirius continued to call for Remus in the mirror, James got up, and walked around behind to see into the mirror as well. Just as Sirius had said, Remus wasn't there, but they were getting a nice view of the ceiling.

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"I've gone mad," Remus murmured to himself. "I've lost it. Sirius is dead. He can't be talking to me through the mirror."

"Remus?" he heard Sirius's voice call from the mirror. "Remus John Lupin. Lupin John Remus. Moony? Loony Lupin? Oh, come on, mate. Reeeeeeeeemus?" the voice kept calling.

"Only Sirius could be that obnoxious," he said to himself. He scrambled across the floor and picked up the mirror. Sure enough, Sirius's face was still there, looking up at him.

"There you are," he said brightly. "Took you long enough."

"Well, sorry, Sirius," Remus retorted. "It's not very often that I see dead people in mirrors."

"I'm not dead," Sirius said, seriously. "Jamesie here is, but I'm not."

Remus wasn't sure which part of that last statement he would like to have elaborated. What did he mean, he wasn't dead? Remus had seen him fall through the Veil. He had been there. And he didn't see James anywhere in the mirror. He was so confused, he was at an utter loss for words.

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"Remus?" James asked when he didn't reply. "Are you okay?"

Once again, Remus didn't respond. He just stared at them with a very confused look on his face.

"Hey, aren't you going to answer James's question?" Sirius asked, trying to bring Remus out of whatever type of funk he had slipped into.

Remus's brow furrowed, as it always did when he was unsure of something. "What question? I didn't hear anything," he said.

"James! He asked you if you were okay," Sirius said.

"What do you mean?" Remus said, looking even more confused. "Look, Sirius, I can't see James."

"What? How can you not see James?" Sirius asked incredulously. "He's this big– well, actually, he's not that big– mass of a person behind." Sirius turned around, making sure James was, in fact, still there. He slapped James lightly a few times for good measure. "See? Right here!"

James smacked Sirius's hand away. "Stop it," he said. "I don't think he can see me, mate. I told you it might not work the same because I'm dead."

Sirius turned again. "Do you always have to be right?" he said impatiently. "Can't you be wrong, just once?"

"I've been wrong before," James said. "If you don't believe me, go ask Lily. She can give you a rather lengthy list of all the times I've been wrong before."

"I don't want to ask Lily," Sirius snapped.

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Remus watched Sirius turn around and start talking. To all appearances, it looked as though he were having an argument with himself. _Maybe Sirius and I are both mental,_ he thought. _It would certainly explain quite a bit._

"Sirius," he said, trying to interrupt the argument Sirius was having, allegedly with James. Sirius ignored him. "Sirius. Sirius!"

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"I think Remus wants to talk to you," James said, realizing how stupid Sirius must look and sound if Remus really couldn't see him.

Sirius turned back around. "Sorry about that," he said. "What do you need?"

"Is James really there?" Remus asked.

"Yup."

"And he's dead?"

"Yup."

"But you're not?" he asked slowly.

"No, I am not," Sirius said.

Remus nodded slowly, however odd this whole situation seemed, it appeared that he was beginning to accept it. "How?" he asked.

"Interesting question," Sirius said. "I'm not sure, and neither is James. Awhile after I fell through the Veil, James gave me some big, long-winded explanation of why I didn't die when I fell through, because most people do. It sort of made sense, but not really. All that really matters is that I'm alive, I guess."

Remus nodded again. "Erm...if you say so."

Sirius grinned. "I do say so."

"So what have you been doing this whole time?" Remus asked. "It's been months since you went through the Veil."

"I've been here with James and Lily," Sirius said.

"And he's been eating all my food," James said, grinning.

Sirius turned to him. "He can't hear you, remember?" he turned back to the mirror. "James wishes me to tell you that I've been eating all his food. How this has any relevance, I don't know. James is being stupid."

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Remus laughed. "He does eat a lot, James," he said. "And I hope you realize how stupid I feel talking to someone I can't see."

Sirius smiled. "He says he appreciates it. He also says that he is madly in love with you, and has been since our third year."

Remus watched as Sirius flinched, no doubt being told off by James, and possibly being smacked up side the head by him as well.

"All right. All right," Sirius said over his shoulder. "No need to pull your hair out." He looked back at Remus. "I made that last part up, although you probably knew that already, didn't you?"

"I figured as much," he said. He couldn't help but smile. It had been nearly 15 years since the three of them had a conversation with each other. And even though he and James couldn't speak directly with each other, it felt so good to be back in the company of his best friends.

"Right, now James the Conversation Tyrant would also like me to tell you several things, so listen up. One, there is most definitely a way for me to get back to the Living world, and we're in the process of working that out. Also, we're having difficulty– mind you, difficulty is an understatement– working out a way to actually get me back. Everything we've read indicates that someone in the Living world must cast at least part of the spell to bring me back..."

"Which is where I come in, I take it?" Remus commented.

"Precisely," Sirius said brightly. "I always knew you were smart."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"Smarter than you, leastways," James muttered. Sirius turned to glare at him.

"Well, do you two know what spell you need to use and everything?" Remus asked.

"Tell him that we haven't quite found it yet, but as soon as we do, we'll lt him know," James said.

Sirius relayed the massage to Remus, who in turned nodded. "How long do you think its going to take you guys to find it?" he asked.

Sirius shrugged. "We've got some decent leads as to what the spell might be. Actually we found a spell to move small objects from the world to the Living world," he said. "But it kind of backfired on us."

"Why does that not surprise me?" Remus asked.

Sirius and James smiled. "Because it shouldn't," they said at the same time.

"Remus, can you do me a favor, though?" Sirius asked.

"Anything, Sirius."

"Don't tell anyone about this, alright?" he asked seriously. "I don't want anyone to get there hopes up that I'll be coming back, and then have it backfire on us. Especially Harry. If he knew that I could come back, but then it didn't work...I don't want to put him through that."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Remus nodded. He understood exactly what Sirius meant. He had seen how distraught Harry was after Sirius first fell through the Veil. Even now, he knew from the letters he and Athena received from him that he was still feeling some of the effects from the loss. If he had to go through that again... "I won't tell Sirius. I promise," Remus said.

"Thanks, mate," Sirius said. "I owe you one. Anyway, I think James and I better go. I'm not sure how long we've been in his office, but Lily tends to get annoyed if we stay in here too long."

Remus nodded. "Say hello to Lily for me, alright?"

"No problem. We'll talk to you later," Sirius said. With that, he disappeared from the mirror.

Remus set the mirror down on the table, and sat down on Harry's bed. He took a deep breath and tried to make sense of the conversation he just had. Sirius was alive. Not only that, but there was a way for him to return. He could come back. Back where they needed him. He thought of what that would do for Harry. Harry needed his godfather, just as surely as Remus needed on of his best friends back. And Athena. Sirius didn't yet know if Athena still had feelings for him. When he got back, and Athena found out...Remus could almost picture how elated the two of them would be.

Remus stood back up. He was not sure if he understood all of what Sirius had told him, or even if he was sure they could pull it off. All he was sure of was how tired he felt now. He felt physically tired before the conversation, but now he felt mentally and emotionally drained. It wasn't everyday that you were able to speak with loved ones who believed to be dead.

He picked up the mirror off the bedside table and pocketed it. He would sort through everything they had discussed later; it wouldn't do him any good to try and figure this out when he was as tired as he was. He sighed and headed out of the room.

* * *

**an: **please please please forgive any typos! i didn't reread this chap like I normally do...there is simply not enough time! Anyway, I leave on Monday, and will be gone for a week, so don't expect me to update then. But, now that shcools out, i think i will be able to update more often... 

please review...I hoping to get 100 reviews by the end of this story...only 15 more to go!

Delano


	17. Chapter 16

**an:** alright...i really didn't mean for it to take me this long. I got back last saturday, and I meant to get this up on wednesday...oh well. I had a great time on my trip, for those of you who might care. i didn't want to leave. lol. anyway, this chapter is dedicated to "the good fruit groupies" (you know who you are...if you even don't read this..lol) for being the kewlest people at EFY.

**reviewer responses:  
Mithril-Moony:** sorry this wasn't updated as fast as you probably wanted it to...my bad...  
**Katie: **thanks for reveiwing as always. hope you like this chapter  
**emuerz: **thank you for you're lovely review...I'm glad you liked my explanation as to why sirius didn't respond in the mirror the first time Harry tried to use it  
**Dante Lewis:**ha ha...you're review is so long, I don't know where to being.lol. From the beginning, I suppose. Ok, firstly, you were right about Moony's transformation being harder because of greif and whatnot. It's been clinically proven that, while laughter immensely helps the body's immune system and general health, greif and sorrow can tremendously weaken it. I'm really glad you enjoy the little things that I throw into thse chapter to amuse myself (most of the time, people look over them as they read), you know, like Remus yelling "GWUAH". I realy like that, and you were the only one who commented on it (as well as other things). Oh, and you're mental as well? me too...we have very good company, it would appear. :) As for your last and final question, as of right now (this might change, I don't know) there are two more _planned_ chapters after this...there might be three, but I'm really only planning on two, at the moment. That, of course, does not include the small exerpt of my next fic that I'm throwing in at the end, to give you all an idea on what it's about...  
**dweem-angel: **you were my 90th reviewer...you get virtual chocolate (if you're allergic, let me know, and I'll hook you up with come other virtual candy...lol) thanks for your review.  
**rockpaperscissors: **It would have been very very very hard for Sirius to convince Remus that he wasn't going insane; it would have complicated things a little too much for my taste...lol. I did have fun on my trip, and I didn't forget about you and all the other readers...it just took me a bit to update is all.

**disclaimer:**...still not Jo...still don't own her characters. I wouldn't mind if I did...

Enjoi

* * *

For the next two weeks or so, discussions about what spell to use ensued between James, Sirius, and Remus. Very early on in the discussions, James was sure to mention that the scrolls had mentioned the "use of Great Powers" so their best bet was to figure out what these "Great Powers" were. That alone, proved to be a rather annoying problem. Nowhere in the scrolls was there another mention of these powers, and the trio where left to figure it out for themselves. However, their discussions often led them back to the same place, the same idea, the same concept. A concept that Lily had actually turned them onto.

"Love," Remus said late one night. "Let's face it. It is the greatest power in existence. If we can just find a way to, I don't know, harness it, it should be the power we need."

"And how exactly do you plan on harnessing it?" Sirius asked. "It maybe the greatest power, but it is easily the hardest to control. It's unpredictable."

"Tell Remus that I think he maybe on the right track, though," James said to Sirius, who had to relay all of James's comments to Remus. "Love has saved Harry's life on more than one occasion, so it can be used. It's just a matter of figuring it out."

Sirius told Remus what James had said, then rounded on James. "Yes, I know it's saved Harry's life, but that was a pure, undying love of a mother. Needless to say, I don't think my mother wants me back there!"

"First of all," Remus pointed out, getting rather frustrated how Sirius was always pointing out the weak spots in their ideas, "the only remnants of your mother here is that blasted portrait in the hall. Secondly, just because your mother never loved you, doesn't mean that no one else does, Sirius."

"He's got a point, Sirius," James said. "I mean, come on. Lily and I love you. Remus and Harry obviously love you. Plenty of people want you back. I think it's safe to say, though, that some don't. Snape, for instance. I can't imagine him _wanting_ you back. But Snape is only–"

"Alright, alright," Sirius said impatiently. "I get the picture."

James smiled. "Good. Now we can move on to making this work."

"Is James done lecturing you?" Remus wanted to know. Over the past two weeks, he had learned to read Sirius's facial expressions as a key to what James was saying at the time, if he was saying anything at all. The expression he wore when James was pointing out something to dispute him was a very easy one to identify.

"He was not lecturing me," he said, even though he knew Remus would know better. "And yes, he is done."

Remus smiled. "Alright, so have we finally agreed now that we need to somehow use love in this whole big mess? Because I'm sick of arguing about it."

"I think it's safe to say that we're all agreed on that," Sirius said. "We still have the problem of figuring out exactly how to use it, though."

Remus nodded and remained silent for a moment, obviously trying to brainstorm ideas. "Hey, can you read me what those scrolls say, again?" he asked.

"No problem," Sirius said as James scrambled around the office looking for the piece of parchment that he had written the translations for the important parts of the scrolls on.

"Here you go," James said, handing the parchment to Sirius.

Sirius read the parchment to Remus, and, once again, Remus lapsed into silence as all three of them tried to think of what was read in new ways. It was Remus who spoke first. "It says something along the lines of the Living have to desire whoever we're trying to get back back, right?"

Sirius nodded.

"So that would mean that someone who's alive needs to...needs to–"

"Instigate," James supplied and Sirius relayed to Remus.

"Yes, instigate the spell, you know, to show that we really do want him back."

James and Sirius nodded.

"But once you start it," James said, "we can step in and help finish the spell off. Tell him that, alright?"

By now, Sirius didn't need to be told when to tell Remus things, and did it out of habit.

"Yeah," Remus said nodding. "That makes sense."

"So," Sirius said brightly, "all we need to do now is find a spell that serves our purposes, and figure out how to cast it simultaneously. Not to mention, we might want to find a _place_ to cast it. It wouldn't do much good for me appear in the middle of Diagon Alley, would it?"

"That sounds about right," Remus and James said at the same time, though Remus didn't know it.

Sirius, at this point in time, had no knowledge of the news articles that were going around about his innocence. Remus never told him about them. If asked, Remus would say he didn't know why he didn't tell Sirius, but it was probably because he had been around Athena to long, and her love of surprises had a tendency to wear off on others.

Sirius folded his arms. "Well, I doubt that there is spell already in existence for what we need to do," he said. "But, it shouldn't be _too_ hard to create one, should it?"

"I don't think so," Remus said. "So long as it meets all the requirements we have. There's probably some ancient spell we could base it off of."

James smiled. "I would be more than happy to take care of that and let you two know what you need to do," he said brightly.

"Prongs says he'll take care of that," Sirius said as James turned to the bookshelves behind them. "He, or I rather, will let you know what you need to do and when."

"Right," he replied. "Do you know how long this will all take?"

"Dunno. Let me ask," Sirius said, turning around to face James. "Hey how long do you think this is going to take?"

"I don't know," James said, still looking at the bookshelves. "A day. A week. A month. Less than a year, probably."

"James has no idea, either," Sirius said, turning back to the mirror. "Although he's confident that it will be less than year."

"That's comforting," Remus said with a wry grin. He turned his head the opposite way, as though someone on his side was calling him. "Hey, I've got to go," he said when he turned back around. "Let me know when you figure this all out."

Sirius nodded. "See you in less than a year," he said as Remus disappeared out of the mirror.

Sirius turned around to ask James how long he _really_ thought this was take, but found him already immersed in some ancient book. _Figures_, he thought. He knew better (unlike Jared) than to try and bother James, and quietly stood up and left the study. He walked out into the living room where Lily was sitting, reading a book. She looked up as he walked into the room.

"Hey, Sirius," she said. "You done talking to Remus?"

He nodded and sat down. "We finally decided what to do, now we just have to figure out how to do it."

Lily smiled, as she often did. "I'm sure you'll find a way to manage it," she said brightly.

"James is working on it right now," he said. "And you know as well as I do that he's not going to quit until he finds a way. There's no doubt in my mind that I won't be going back."

"But you have doubts about something," she said calmly.

"Of course I have doubts about something," he said. "I would be a fool not to. I'm just going to deal with them when they occur, and not worry about them til then."

"For as long as I've known you," Lily said, "you've always been like that. You shrug things off until you have to deal with them. It doesn't seem like all that bad of a way to live, even if it is a bit irresponsible."

Sirius shrugged. "It suits me," he said dismissively.

Lily looked at him. It was obvious that Sirius was not going to tell her what he was having doubts about. She knew from experience that people often felt more at ease after confiding worries in others. By the looks of it, however, Sirius didn't have any plans in confiding his doubts in anyone, probably not even to James (who probably wouldn't have been listening, immersed as he was). She frowned slightly at him, but he was to busy staring off in to space to really notice. _He's a grown man,_ she chided herself. _It's his decision_ _tell people if anything's bothering him. Besides, his best friend is here; if he's going to tell anyone, it'll be James. _

She sighed. It was getting late. "I'm heading off to bed," she told Sirius. "Tell James to go to bed when you head in for the night."

Sirius snapped out of his reverie and nodded. As Lily headed upstairs, he slowly slid back into his thoughts.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

For another week, James barricaded himself in among his books. This time, however, he was a bit more tolerable of others' presencearound him. Since he was actually trying to create a spell, he needed as much feedback as he possibly could get. He needed his friend's, his wife's, and his brother's knowledge of magic as well as his own to make sure he didn't mess things up completely and end up actually killing Sirius by mistake. He was constantly asking everyone how they thought certain things would play out, and if they knew of any negative repercussions that doing whatever he was speculating at the time might have.

Sometime after the first week, James found an old, and seldom used spell that he could manipulate to serve their purposes. James claimed to the whole house that it was most definitely the luckiest thing that had ever happened to him. Even after he found the spell, however, he needed to figure out _how_ to manipulate it. This proved more difficult. Now that he had a basis for getting Sirius back, he also had rules that he had to work around to get it to work. When he was just trying to figure out a spell to use, his options were literally limitless. He could use any combination of spells, he could use any method of magic, so long as it _worked_. Now, however, there were rules and barriers to the spell he had found. He had to find ways to work around them without accidently killing anyone within 5 miles of the place where the place would be cast (on both planes of existence). Most of the time, he was fine with bending rules a little to serve his purposes. However, magic did have rules that he simply could not overlook.

Sirius, meanwhile, was really starting to realize what this all meant. He had known since he first went and told James about the nightmares he had been having that he would be going home. However, he never really understood what this really meant. He was, in all actuality, getting a second chance at life. How many people got that? Not many. In his mind, he kept listing all the things he wanted to do, things he had taken for granted when he was still alive. He began to really anticipate the day when he could return home. For him, the day couldn't come soon enough either.

And, luckily for him, that day didn't seem to be too far off. Sometime in the middle of November, James had an astounding breakthrough. He ran out of his study, laughing like a madman, yelling for the whole house (and possibly, all of Godric's Hallow): "I DID IT! I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT!" It took Lily, Sirius, and Jared, who was visiting at the time, a few minutes to figure out what James was talking about. They were caught a bit off-guard, seeing as how none of them were expecting to come running out of his study like he did.

Sirius blinked for a couple of seconds until what James said sank in. "You figured it out?" he asked in disbelief. "You figured it out! Ah, James, I could kiss you!"

"Please don't," James said, backing away slightly.

"That's great, honey," Lily said brightly just as Jared said, "Good job."

"When do I leave?" Sirius asked excitedly.

"Whenever Remus gets things ready on his end," James said, smiling broadly.

"Well, have you told him yet? Does he know what he has to do?"

"Sirius, Remus can't see me in the mirror, remember?" James said slowly, as if talking to a young child.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot," Sirius replied sheepishly. "We need to tell him."

"Obviously," James said, chuckling. "Otherwise you're stuck here. Not that we wouldn't mind it."

"I would," Jared said teasingly. "He's had the guest bedroom for too long. I have to sleep on the couch when I stay here overnight."

"Oh, we know how you love the couch," Lily joked.

The mood in the room was obvious. Everyone was ecstatic. They had been trying to find a way for Sirius to get home for months, and finally, they found a way. How could they not be happy?

Sirius whipped out the mirror from his pocket; he had kept it because he was the only one Remus could see in the mirror and it wouldn't make sense for anyone else to have it. "Come on," he said impatiently. "Let's tell him."

"Go ahead. We're not stopping you."

"Right," Sirius said. He looked down at his mirror and distinctly called Remus's name.

Remus's face appeared in the mirror. "What's up?" he asked.

"James finally figured out how to get me back," Sirius said enthusiastically.

"That's wonderful," said Remus exuberantly. "How do we do it?"

"I don't know. He never told me," Sirius said smiling, he turned behind him to ask James how to perform the spell, but James was a step ahead of him. In his hand he held a piece of parchment. On the piece of parchment were the directions Remus needed to instigate the spell.

"Just read it off," James said, handing the parchment to his friend.

"Alright," Sirius said, and he began to read the parchment. Some of what was needed and needed to be done, Remus found to be a bit odd, and it showed on his face. James would explain to Sirius the reasons behind some of the more confusing aspects of the spell and had Sirius relay them to Remus.

One thing in particular, Remus found very perplexing. "The people," Remus said. "You said that there needs to be two or three people present in the room who care about Sirius and want you back when the spell is cast. Why?"

"James says that's one of the more abstract ideas in the spell," Sirius said after James explained it to him. "It's something about having actual people who love me, I guess, and having more there than here. It doesn't really make much sense to me, but James says it doesn't matter if it makes sense or not, so long as the people are there."

"Is there a preference of three people to two people?" he asked.

"James says not really. He thinks it would be easier if you had three, but understands if you can only get two people (that includes yourself, so you know) at the time," Sirius said.

"No, it's okay. I've got two other people in mind that will be very happy to see you," Remus said slyly.

"Really? Who?" Sirius wanted to know.

Remus grinned. "It's a surprise," he said. "Anyway, when are we doing this?"

"Whenever you can get this ready," Sirius said.

Remus nodded. "In three weeks, I think, there's a Hogsmeade trip up at Hogwarts, it would be a good opportunity for Harry to be there," he said.

"Alright. I'm going to show up wherever you cast the spell, you know," Sirius said. "So you might to do this somewhere more secluded. You know, so I'm not arrested as soon as I show up."

"I know, Sirius," Remus said. "I've got it all covered. How are you two going to know when I'm casting the spell?"

"Tell him I've got it arranged so we'll know immediately when the spell starts to take place. There's nothing he needs to worry about," James said from the couch where he was now sitting with Lily and Jared.

Remus nodded when Sirius told him what James had said. "I'll take care of everything I need to," he said. "Don't worry about a thing. I'll see you in about 3 week then."

"Right," Sirius responded.

"Anyway, there's a meeting for the Order that I have to be at in a few minutes," Remus said. "So I've got to split." With that, he disappeared from the mirror.

Sirius turned to James. "He's hiding something, isn't he?" he asked.

"It wouldn't surprise me," James said. "He probably is thinking up some grand return for you. I wouldn't put it past him."

"I hate not knowing what's going on," Sirius complained as he flopped down on an armchair. "Just like I hate surprises."

James grinned. "It's alright, mate. You'll know in three weeks what he's planning, then it will no longer be a surprise."

"You're just as bad as he is," Sirius complained. It seemed to him that those three weeks couldn't pass quick enough.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

As the day got nearer, something kept nagging Sirius in the back of his mind. He was anxious to get back, but he was convinced that there was something he needed to take care of here before he left. He didn't tell anyone what was nagging him, because he knew that James would as soon knock him out as let him do what he was planning on.

It was two nights before the pre-appointed date when Sirius decided to carry out his plans. James and Lily were in the living room playing chess. Despite his often short attention span, James was a very good chess player, simply because he was used to looking at situations through different perspectives and planning ahead according to what he noticed. At the current point in time, he was beating Lily in chess very badly. Sirius poked his head into the living room.

"Hey, James, where's your old invisibility cloak?" he asked casually.

James looked up from his game with a suspicious look on his face. "In the trunk at the end of my bed," he said slowly. "Why?"

"Because there's something I need to take care of before I leave in a few days," he said. "I need to go out, and it wouldn't do me any good to get into trouble now, so I'd like to use you're cloak as a safety precaution."

"What are you planning on doing?" James asked, sounding even more suspicious.

"It's nothing serious," he said nonchalantly. "Just something I want to deal with."

"What are you up to?" James asked again, hoping to get a straight answer this time.

"It's nothing," Sirius said. "I'll be back tomorrow, I swear." With that last comment, he left the room and headed upstairs, presumably to grab James's cloak.

James turned back to Lily. "What was that all about?" he asked. Lily shrugged in response. It was very lucky (for Sirius, leastways) that neither Lily nor James knew what Sirius was up to. For, if either of them had known that Sirius had left to have a little 'talk' with Actaeon before he left, they would have never let him out of their sight.

* * *

**final an:** yes, you all read that last sentence correctly. Sirius is going to have a little "chat" with Actaeon before he leaves, just to clarify a few matters, but that is not until the next chapter. Alright, also, for those of you who are curious, this story is soon coming to an end. I only expect 2, possibly 3, chapters left.

as always, please forgive my typos...for some reason unbeknownst to me, yesterday, I could not type well to save my life. I did proofread, but I'm not sure how well I did...lol. please review

Delano


	18. Chapter 17

**an:**this is the second to last (possibly third to last...lol, but most likely second to last) chapter of shadowed veil...it is coming to an end (tear)...but, at the end of this chapter, in my final an, I will be reminding you all of my plans for after this (in case you forgot)...so, although we may be nearing the end of shadowed veil...I don't think we're nearing the end of me writing...aren't you all so happy? lol

**reviewer responses (ha ha...i love you guys):  
Mithril-Moony:**yes, it is ending...i'm sorry...hey, but you never know...someone else has suggested a sequel...maybe one of those will happen. Thanks for reveiwing  
**emuerz:** naw, I wouldn't leave you not knowing where Sirius was off to...I'm not that mean. lol. thanks for reveiwing  
**forestofgreenjello:** yes...what _was_ Sirius thinking? he can be rather stupid...lol. it's been a while since you last reviwed...where have you been?lol. As of right now, there is no sequel planned...but I do have a, er, prequel of sorts in the works  
**legolasfanxoxo: **of course he's endangering his chance to be with harry again...he's Sirius, this is what he does...lol. anyway, i'm planning on posting the last chapter right before youth conference(in other words, before HBP)...if you don't get a chance to read it, let me know, and I'll print you out a copy for the bus ride...lol  
**dweem-angel:** oh yes...Sirius's 'chat' with Actaeon...i hope you like it...thanks for reviweing  
**Dante Lweis: **thank you for your oh-so-wonderful review. Actaeon is finally getting whats coming to him. As you said, Sirius is playing out his role as best friend...  
**katie:** did you realize that you reviewed twice? saying the exact same thing in both? lol. its ok, tho, because it boosted my reviews up to a glorious 99. thank you for reviewing

**disclaimer:**see previous chapter (heh heh...I'm getting kinda lazy)

* * *

Sirius didn't exactly know where Actaeon would be, but drawing from what he knew of the man, he was safely betting that he would still be at the Ministry, even though it was late at night. People like Actaeon were often over-dedicated to their work and, because of it often stayed at the office for as long as they possibly could manage. After acquiring James's invisibility cloak, Sirius apparated to the Ministry. Once at the Ministry, he realized he had another problem: if Actaeon was here, where exactly in the building was he, and how did he expect to find him? He sighed and drew the invisibility cloak closer around him. He silently wished that he had the Marauder's Map with him, if only it were a map of the Ministry, rather than Hogwarts. _There's no point wishing over something that you'll never have,_ he told himself. _You need to find Actaeon, and standing here isn't going to help you any. _Sirius sighed again and looked around the Atrium where he was standing.

"If I were an evil psychopath, where would I be?" he muttered quietly under his breath. "Well, not here." He looked around again, and spotted the row of elevators at the other side of the Atrium. Decidedly, he walked over to one of the lifts. He was about to press the button to open the elevator when it suddenly opened in a loud clatter. Sirius's jaw dropped as he saw who was in the lift: It was Actaeon himself. Luck, it would seem, appeared to be favoring Sirius tonight. Sirius remembered just in time to move as Actaeon stepped out of the lift and headed straight towards him. Actaeon walked passed him, grumbling under his breath. He walked over to the security desk at the other end of the Atrium and set a stack of parchment down on the desk, still grumbling.

_Please don't disapparate. Please don't disapparate, _Sirius pleaded silently as he watched Actaeon move across the room. He knew if Actaeon disapparated, he would have no way of finding out where he went. He let out a sigh of relief as he watched Actaeon move back towards the elevator. In an annoyed manner, Actaeon walked back into the elevator, and Sirius, being very careful not to accidently brush against the other man, followed him in. At the fifth level, Actaeon got off again, and Sirius followed him silently underneath the invisibility cloak.

Actaeon stepped into an office down the hallway. Sirius just barely managed to get through the door before Actaeon shut it with a wave of his wand. Sirius stood just inside the door, observing Actaeon before making any move. When the other man sat down at his desk, and busied himself with paperwork, Sirius started to move around. It wasn't until he was absolutely sure that the man was paying full attention to his work that Sirius started to make his move. He picked up an old, burned-out oil lamp, held it for a moment, and then let it drop. He smiled as it shattered upon impact, creating a very loud noise.

Actaeon's head shot up from his desk. "What was that?" he demanded. "Who's there?"

Sirius's grin grew wider from under the cloak. "No one is here," he said in a sweet, simpering voice. "You're all alone."

Sirius tried to keep from laughing as Actaeon looked around wildly, trying to pinpoint where the voice was coming from. "Who are you? What do you want?" he said, his voice shaking nervously.

_Just as I thought,_ Sirius thought bitterly, _he's a bloody coward. _"Who am I?" Sirius asked from under the cloak, his voice still falsely sweet. "Why, don't you know?" Sirius pulled the cloak off of himself. "You've only been looking for me since July."

Actaeon stood up, knocking his chair over as he did so. "Black," he snarled.

"Actaeon," Sirius commented. His eyes followed Actaeon's arm as it slowly reached for his wand. "Now, now. None of that," he spat. _"Expelliarmus_."

Actaeon's wand flew from the desk beside him. Sirius caught it deftly. "You and I are going to have a little chat," Sirius said. "I think, however, that you are not going to do much of the talking, though."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"I want to know where he went," James said, for what seemed like the millionth time in fifteen minutes.

"Wherever he went," Lily said comfortingly, "I'm sure he'll be fine. He can take care of himself."

James looked at Lily with his eyebrows raised. "With his luck? I doubt it," James complained. "I wouldn't put it past him to go and get himself killed on accident." James threw his arms up in the air in exasperation and started to pace around the room.

"James, he'll be fine," Lily said again, watching James pace from the couch.

"I really want to know where he went," James moaned.

"I know you do," Lily said.

"Do you know where he went?" James asked, turning around to face his wife.

"I have no idea," she said simply. However, she didn't really mean what she said. She had a shrewd suspicion of what Sirius might have been planning, but she wasn't going to say it to James.

James looked at her, almost as if he knew she wasn't exactly telling the truth. "Yes you do," he said.

"I do not," Lily said, smiling at the look of suspicion of her husband's face.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"Black," Actaeon growled. "How nice of you to make your way over here."

"Did I not just say that you weren't going to do much of the talking?" Sirius asked menacingly.

"It doesn't matter what you say," Actaeon snapped harshly. "You see, I have been waiting for months for you to show up. I knew from the moment I threw Potter in Azkaban you would show up to seek revenge. People like you are so easy to predict."

"I don't see what you're going to do about it now," Sirius said dully, "seeing as how I have your wand."

"I don't need my wand," Actaeon replied snidely. "So long as I have–"

"_Shut up!"_ Sirius snapped, his impatience getting the better of him. "I am getting sick of listening to you talk. So, you are just going to be quiet, and let me get on with my business."

"Oh really?" Actaeon asked incredulously.

Sirius's eyes narrowed. This man was getting on his nerves. Sirius drew himself up to his full height and, with a rather menacing look on his face, took a step forward. "Yes, really," he spat. Actaeon took a step back nervously. Anyone who had ever gotten on Sirius's bad side could tell you how terrifying he could be when he wanted to. And right now, Sirius did look rather terrifying. Actaeon gave out a small squeak in response.

"Good, now we can carry on," Sirius said. "You see, I'm leaving in a few days, and when I'm gone, I want to know that my best friend is not going to be bothered by you. It would appear that you chose the wrong people to mess with. No one messes with my friends without having to answer to me in the end."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

James looked closely at Lily. "You have an idea of where he is, though," he said, looking Lily in the eye.

"Yes, I do have an idea," she replied.

"Where do you think he is, then?" James asked.

"I'm not telling you," Lily said sternly.

"And why not?"

"Because if I do, you're going to run off and do something incredibly stupid," Lily retorted.

James stopped pacing. _Where would Sirius have gone that would make Lily think that I would run off and do something stupid?_ he asked himself. His eyes went wide as the answer came to him. How come he didn't see it before? It was typical of Sirius to do something like this. James turned slowly back to Lily. "You think he went to deal with Actaeon, don't you?" James asked.

Lily sighed. Now that James had guessed, there was no point lying to him. "Yes, I do," she replied wearily.

"The idiot," James muttered under his breath. "He's going to get himself killed. I've got to go help him."

"James," Lily said in warning. "Don't even think about it."

She spoke too late, however, because James had already disapparated.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Sirius looked at Actaeon. "So, let's get this straight. You are going to leave the Potters, in particular James, alone. And when I actually die, if I hear that you have been causing problems– and trust me, I will heard about it– you will wish you had never existed," Sirius threatened cooly.

Actaeon seemed to regain some of his courage as Sirius spoke. "And what, may I ask, is going to stop me?" Actaeon asked snidely. "That lousy piece of filth you call a friend deserves everything he gets."

That was the last straw for Sirius. _No one_ insulted his friends without suffering the consequences. This man had hit on Lily, thrown James in Azkaban multiple times, and still had the audacity to insult James in front of Sirius. Not a wise move. Sirius dropped the wands he held in his hand. He closed the gap between himself and the despicable man across from him in a few lone strides. Gripping the front of Actaeon's robes with his left hand, Sirius let his right fist soar into his face. Actaeon stumbled back, even though Sirius still had a firm grip on his robes. Sirius latched onto to Actaeon's robes with his other hand and drove him back towards the wall, pressing him firmly up against it.

"Now listen to me, and listen to me well," Sirius growled. "You are not worth the light of day. The only reason I am even here is out of loyalty to my best friend. He is more of a man than you could ever hope to be, you low, despicable, good for nothing bastard. The second I find out you so much as _looked _at James or Lily wrong, your hide will be mine. Just the thought of what I will do to you should be enough to keep you away. And if it's not, well, you'll regret that choice for all of eternity. Do you understand?"

Wide-eyed, Actaeon nodded.

"Good," Sirius said, letting go of Actaeon's robes. "Don't bother to keep in touch."

Sirius turned around and, after picking up his wand and James's invisibility cloak, left the room. Feeling very satisfied with himself and confident that Actaeon would keep in line, Sirius did not apparate back to James's place, but decided to take the long way back. He headed back up to the Atrium and, for the second time that night (well, morning now), he was confronted with someone he did not expect when the door to the elevator opened.

James turned around to face him as he heard the lift open. "Sirius," he yelled from across the empty Atrium.

"James?" Sirius called back in confusion. "What're you doing here?"

"I came to find you," James said as Sirius walked out of the elevator towards him.

"I knew where I was," Sirius said, grinning broadly. "I didn't need to be found."

James looked at Sirius with a strange look of disbelief. "What did you think you were doing?" James asked.

"I was dealing with a little pest control problem for you," Sirius said brightly.

"You could have got yourself killed," James cried incredulously. "You jeopardized your chance to get back home."

"Yes, I could have," said Sirius reasonably. "But, you see, I didn't. In fact, I arranged it so Actaeon will no longer be a problem for you."

James smiled and shook his head. Despite all they had been through in the past 15 years, Sirius was still very much the same person he always was. "You couldn't have waited for me to come along, could you?" James asked.

"And risk the only person who really knows how to work the spell to get me home getting arrested? I don't think so," Sirius mused.

"You always have all the fun without me," James complained lightly. "This is just like the time you died Snape's robes pink without me in our third year."

"If I remember correctly," Sirius said, "you sought revenge for that on Pork Day."

"You're right. I did. This time, though, I'm not bothering with revenge. I'm just getting rid of you," James teased.

Sirius gave out a bark-like laugh. "Come on," he said. "Let's get back to your place before Lily has a canary. I doubt you had her approval when you left."

James ginned, and disapparated back to him home, followed shortly by Sirius.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

The day passed quickly as the entire household made final preparations for the next day. Both Lily and James, though neither of the mentioned it to the other, had something in mind for Sirius to take with him the next day. They both desired very much to be able to speak with their only child and regretted the fact that they were unable to. James, in particular, found this very aggravating. He wanted very much to be able to give Harry some advice, to be able to talk to him, to be a father for him. He figured that since Sirius was going back anyway, he might as well take something with him from James to Harry. Lily had generally the same train of thought.

Both of them, coincidently, chose to write a letter for Sirius to carry back to their son. They each spent hours, James in his study, Lily in their bedroom, writing these letters, trying to accurately convey their thoughts to their only child. Lily took the more organized approach and thought about what exactly she wanted to say before she wrote it. James, on the other hand, was all over the place, as he often was. He went through draft after draft, trying to say all he wanted to without writing a novel; when he was finally done, his study was littered with discarded parchment.

When he was sure he had written exactly what he wanted, he left his study. He found Sirius and Lily, who had finished an hour earlier, sitting in the kitchen. They were having a conversation about what Sirius planned on doing when he got back.

"Hey, Sirius," James said as he walked into the kitchen.

"Hey what?" came the reply.

"Do you think you could give this to Harry for me tomorrow?" he asked, holding out his letter.

Sirius laughed and took the letter. "You and Lily have been living together for much too long, mate," Sirius said.

"What makes you say that?" James asked.

"I also wrote a letter to Harry as well," Lily explained. Sirius, meanwhile, was busy opening James's letter. "What're you doing?" Lily asked.

"I'm seeing how long his letter is," he said, pulling the letter out of the envelope. He counted the pages. "His is longer."

"See?" James said. "It means I love Harry more," he teased.

Lily grinned. "All it means is that you have really big handwriting," she commented.

The light-hearted banter between the three continued late into the night. It wasn't until Lily pointed out that it was nearing one in the morning that they all decided to turn in. There was definitely a feeling of finality in the house. It was apparent to all of them that Sirius really was leaving, and he wasn't going to come back– at least, not for a couple of decades. That night, neither James nor Sirius got much sleep. They both lay on their beds that night, and simply stared at the ceiling, thinking.

Sirius, as much as he wanted to go back, was rather reluctant to leave James. He was torn across two worlds, with people he loved in both. He had always thought of James as a brother, ever since they met, and in the recent years, he had started to regard Harry as a son and a brother. Sirius cared about Harry more than anyone else in the Living World, and would have done anything to protect him, to be there for him. He had felt the exact same way about James; he still did, in fact. He would go to the ends of the earth for either of them. He knew though, that at this present moment in time, he couldn't be with both of them. He had to chose: James or Harry, and he had to admit, Harry needed him more than James did.

James, meanwhile, had other things to think about. He didn't really want Sirius to leave, now that it came to it. He had always felt more complete when Sirius was around. He was pretty sure it was Lily who had once said that the two of them shared a brain and one couldn't function properly without the other being nearby. He knew, though, Sirius needed to be with Harry more than anything else. His son needed a father-figure in James's absence. As far as James knew, there had been no talk in the Living World about Sirius's name being cleared. He wanted Sirius to be able to carry out his role as Harry's godfather as well as he possibly could, and he doubted if Sirius could do this when most of the wizarding community thought he was a mass-murderer. James wanted Sirius to have something with him that would clear his name once he was back amongst the living, but he only knew of one such item.

At about six o'clock in the morning, James rolled out of bed and crept downstairs. Trying not to wake anyone upstairs, he walked quietly into his study and started searching his shelves. He was looking for a book that had been dubbed _The Marauder Memoirs_. The _Memoirs_ had been inspired by Remus around their third year. A healer at St. Mungo's had told Remus that his emotions preceding a full moon might affect his transformation; the healer had suggested that Remus keep a journal to help him sort out his emotions that were typically going haywire before the full moon, in hopes of making his transformations slightly easier. When the rest of the Marauders found that Remus was keeping a journal (and once Sirius finally stopped teasing him about it), they all agreed that it would be rather cool to have a journal of sorts for them as a group, where they could all write whatever they felt like, without being mocked, and preserve part of themselves for future generations.

They kept the _Memoirs_ throughout the rest of their time at Hogwarts, and, after they graduated, they still kept them. They passed the book around whenever they felt like it. The book had helped keep them together when it seemed like the rest of the world had been falling apart. In retrospect, James supposed that it hadn't kept them as together as they had originally thought, seeing as how Peter had betrayed him. But still, the book detailed the last years of their friendship, and wherefore, had always held sentimental values. The book had been given to James to hold right before he, Lily, and Harry went into hiding. Sirius, Remus, and Peter had agreed that James should have it for at least the first few weeks while he was in hiding. Consequently, James had the last entry in the book. In it, he wrote about how Peter was actually their Secret-Keeper, how Sirius had convinced them to switch right before the spell was cast. He wanted some sort of written evidence of what had transpired, just in case things went awry. Unfortunately for them, the _Memoirs_ had been destroyed when Voldemort attacked.

James found the _Memoirs_ on the bottom shelf, hid behind several other books. He flipped open to the back, and sure enough, there was the last entry written by himself, a testament to Sirius's innocence. James took the book back out into the living room and flopped down on the couch. He flipped through a few pages, reading entries written by himself and his friends. Some of the entries where rather amusing and humorous, while others had a serious tone to them, as the writers had expressed personal fears, disappointments, and revelations about themselves and others. James was reading one of the first entries written by Remus when Sirius walked in.

"What're you reading?" Sirius asked, sitting down next to James. James handed the book to him, and he looked at the front cover. "_The Marauder Memoirs._ I forgot you had this," Sirius commented.

"Yeah. You all decided that I should have it when I went into hiding. It was destroyed when Voldemort attacked," James said. "I want you to take it back with you."

"What? Why?" Sirius asked.

"Look at the last page," James said. He watched as Sirius flipped to the back, and find his last entry. He read it and looked back at James.

"This will clear my name," he said quietly.

"Yes, it will," James replied. "I think it might be easier to be my son's godfather if people didn't think you were a mad mass-murderer. You can give it to Remus and he can 'pretend' to find it for you"

"I think you're right," Sirius said, smiling. Sirius dug his hand in his pocket and pulled out the mirror. "And I want you to keep this. I'm sure we'll find someway for it to work with the one Harry has, even though you're dead."

James didn't take the mirror. "I can't take it, Sirius," he said.

"Why not?"

"Because it would confuse things too much," he answered. "I was meant to be dead. As much as I don't like it, there has to be some bizarre reason why I never got to really talk with my son. I don't want to mess things up like this. In the end, it would probably do more harm than good. Besides, you need it so you can talk to Harry."

Sirius nodded; James had made a valid point. "All right, James," he said, pocketing the mirror again. "Keep your hair on. I'll keep the mirror and the _Memoirs_. But, I suppose this our goodbye, then."

"In a way, you're right," James said. "I don't think we'll be seeing each other much for a while."

"No, I don't think we will. But we'll see each other in the end," Sirius said seriously.

James grinned. "So it's not really 'goodbye' after all. It's more like 'I'll see you in a few decades'," he said.

"Once again," Sirius said wryly, "you're right. Like always, you're right."

James grinned and stood up; Sirius did likewise. Since they did not know exactly when Remus was planning on starting the spell, they felt it wise to get the necessary farewells over with now. They embraced each other like the brothers that they felt they were.

"I'll see you in a couple of decades, then," Sirius said.

* * *

**My final an:** ok, lets divide this into sections...just to clarify things.  
_on my next update: _alright...I'm going out of town(hee hee...we're going to the beach!)with my family for a week (starting on saturday) so I will not be bale to post the next chapter until I get back. I plan on having it written before then, so I'll beable to post around tuesday or wednesday before HBP come out. If it turns out that I'll need two chaps instead of one to tie everything together, they'll be posted on the same day (most likely)  
_on future work: _alright...some of you have asked about a possible sequel or what not. I mention this earlier (but I don't know how many of you paid attenion then). As of right now, there is no sequel planned. I need to wait for HBP to come out, and see if i can adapt it to what I have written so far. If I can, then I might come out with a sequel, I don't know. I am, however, currently working on a prequel of sorts. You know, a fic written during the Marauder Era and what not. Sometime in August, I plan on posting part of the first or second chapter as an epilogue for this story...just to give you all a taste of what it is going to be like...see if you want to read it or whatever. If you have any questions (or suggestions for titles...lol) just let me know in your review.

anyway, as always, please forgive any mispellings, typos, gramatical errors, whatever. you may now click the purpleblue looking box and reveiw...

Delano


	19. Chapter 18

**an:** Alas...here it is. The last official chapter of Shadowed Veil. All 14 pages of it...lol. This one is a doozy (is that how you spell doozy? I don't know...). It's all ready for you to read and enjoy, I'm pretty sure. I haven't proofed it since Staurday, and I might have missed something. I would like to thank you all for coming along for the ride, and I'm glad that you have enjoyed it. I'm assuming that if you made it to Chapter 18, then you enjoyed it, of course. If not, well, thanks for reading anyways. I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say about it...

**reviewer responses (ah...I can't say it enough, you guys are all awesome):  
luna:** congrats...you are the 100th reviewer...i think you deserve some vurtual chocolate or something...thanks for reviewing  
**Dante Lewis:** your idea about have a prequel in a sequel is a really good idea. I was planning on my next ff to be centered around the Memoirs to begin with, so you'll get to find out its contents. But, as I've been thinking about it, I'm not sure i'd be able to pull off the whole sequelprequel thing off. i've seen it done before, but i'm not sure it will work with what i have planned.  
**Dweem-angel:** thanks for your review...yes,it is rather sad that Sirius and James are going to be sperated again, but dear old Sirius is going back where he needs to be.  
**forestofgreenjello:** ah, school exams...I understand. lol. it is a wonder to me that parents and teachers push you to be in classes that you have no interest in, seeing as how they'll never do you any real good. My biology teacher kept trying to get my to take advanced chemistry next year...I thought he was crazy, seeing as how i hate science...lol. i'm glad you enjoyed Sirius beating up Actaeon...the bloody git had it coming, after all  
**legolasfanxoxo:** i'm glad you liked the Marauder Memoirs (tee hee...I'm quite fond of the idea myself). I'm pretty sure my next fic will be based around them, so you'll be able to enjoy...lol. anyway, if i don't get yur review, I'll print you out a copy...see you on Thursday morning  
**katie:** yeah, you did review twice, but it was probably some glitch with the computer system, because they were pretty much carbon copies of each other. Thanks for reviewing pretty much every chapter...it means a lot to me.

**disclaimer:** you all have got the point by now, right? I'm not Jo, and I don't own anyone, or anyting, that you recognize from the books

this is the last official chapter, so enjoi

* * *

Harry turned around, hearing his name called over the mild roar the customers of Three Broomsticks were making. He was supposed to meet Athena and Lupin here and was hoping that it was one of them who had called his name. Sure enough, he saw Athena waving over to him. He grinned and headed over; it had been months since he had seen either of them, and he missed the tranquil atmosphere they created. It was different, he had realized earlier in the school year, hanging around people his own age and hanging around people older than himself. Being around older people, he often found he saw things differently than he would have if he were with Ron or Hermione. 

"Harry, come on," Athena said as Harry neared. "We have a private parlor in the back."

"A private parlor?" Harry asked. "What for?"

"I don't know. It was Remus's idea," she said, shrugging. "He has a headache and claims it will only get worse with the noise this crowd is making. Besides, he seems to think that it will be easier to talk without all this noise."

Harry shrugged as well. He could see the logic behind this and didn't feel like pushing the matter any further. Harry and Athena made their way into the back were one of the three private parlors were located. Athena pushed the door to the left one open and walked inside; Harry followed.

"Hey, Harry," Remus said from the opposite end of the room. "How're you doing?"

"I'm fine," he said. "You?"

"I've felt worse," he said simply.

Harry and Athena both sat down and they all started to talk. It was simply about mindless ordinary things at first. They actually started talking about the weather, of all things, which lead into an in depth discussion about quidditch. Harry was back in the team even though Umbridge had given him a life-time ban the previous year, and the game helped Harry not over think things too much. After quidditch, they started talking about current news, and things that were going on in the community. Now that Voldemort had returned to power, it was evident just by looking at the papers that everyone was in the midst of a war. Slowly, however, the conversation turned into a conversation about Sirius, though no one was quite sure how this had happened. Remus was convinced, though, that this made everything easier on his part. If everyone was thinking of Sirius, he had reasoned, when he started casting the spell, it would probably make everything go a bit smoother.

Harry looked up from the butterbeer in his hand. "What do you miss most about him?" he asked suddenly. "About Sirius, I mean."

The question took both Athena and Remus back a bit, for neither of them had been expecting it. "I don't know," Athena answered first. "Everything, I think. I really can't think of anything I don't miss. I really miss the little things about him though. You know, things like . . . his laugh. And how he was more like a dog– loyal, trustworthy, adorable– than he ever was a person. How he could make you feel that you were the only one he cared about when you needed it. Just little things like that."

Remus nodded. "You don't really realize how much things like that matter until you don't have them anymore," he told Harry. "I, for one, miss his personality. How he could be all over the place, acting like a teenager one moment, and then suddenly come back to earth and be serious when you needed him to. His spontaneity, I kind of miss that. Sometimes he was a bit too spontaneous, but most of the time . . . it just kept you on your toes. Kept your mind running."

Harry continued to ask questions about Sirius. One of the things he regretted about Sirius's death was how little he actually knew about his godfather. He wanted to know more. As he and Athena were talking about Sirius still, a small voice in the back of Remus's mind reminded him that he probably should start the spell now, while the other two were preoccupied, but still had Sirius on their minds. A benign grin came over Remus's face as he muttered the start of the first incantation.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Sirius, James, and Lily were sitting in the kitchen around the table, talking. It was nearing the time when Sirius was going to be leaving them, and they all intended to enjoy every last minute of each others company. Sirius had the two letters, the _Memoirs_, and the mirror in various pockets of his robes; he was, in short, ready to leave. They were reminiscing about Lily and James's first date (which had been a double date, so Sirius and Athena had been attendance at the time) in their seventh year, when Sirius felt a sharp jolt and quick flash of light went off in the room.

James looked at Sirius. "Remus started the spell," he said.

Sirius smirked. "I noticed."

"This is goodbye, mate," he said.

"We already went over this, remember?" Sirius reminded him.

"Right, just making sure," James replied.

Sirius felt a second jolt surge through his body. "Ow," he said. "This is rather painful."

"Sorry," James said. "It's a side effect. Was that the first or second?"

"Second."

"Okay. Remember the incantation?" James asked.

"Of course I remember. On three?"

James nodded. "One. Two. Three," they said together. They then said the required incantation.

There was a brief moment, then Sirius felt a third and more powerful jolt surge through his body. He yelped, and then, in a moment, he was gone.

James turned to Lily, and stepped closer to her. He slid his arms around her waist. "He's gone," he said.

"Yes, he is," Lily replied, putting her arms around her husbands neck, allowing him to hold her closely to him.

"This isn't fair."

"What isn't?"

"Sirius has been gone for what? Half a minute?" James said with a sort of disheartened tone in his voice. "And I already miss him."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Remus finished the final incantation, and . . . nothing. Nothing happened. He wasn't sure if this was supposed to happen, or if the spell was malfunctioning, but tried not to worry about it. He was rather disappointed when Athena stood up, claiming she had to visit the bathroom and get more drinks for all of them. He didn't want Sirius to show up and have Athena not be there for it.

Harry and Remus continued talking. Remus was giving Harry a detailed account of Pork Day, seeing as how he never heard the story before. Suddenly, there was a faint _pop_ in the opposite corner of the room. Remus looked up and saw a disheveled looking Sirius standing there.

Sirius had a look of awe on his face, and Remus had a look that was rather similar. Harry had his back to Sirius, and, wherefore, had not seen Sirius appear. He did, however, notice the strange look that had come over Lupin's face.

"Professor?" he asked when Lupin didn't say anything for half a minute. Lupin still wore a strange look and it slowly shifted into a wide, disbelieving grin. Harry noticed that his vision seemed to be focused on a singular point behind him. Harry turned to see what his former professor was staring at. When he did, his jaw dropped. He couldn't believe what he saw.

He slowly stood up, his emerald eyes wide. He swallowed several times. "Sirius?" he asked quietly. His voice had trembled ever so slightly.

"Harry," Sirius breathed, nodding senselessly. Harry seemed to be stuck where he was standing, so Sirius made the first move by walking over to his godson and wrapping him in an embrace. Harry tried to say something else, but his words seemed to get caught in his throat, and he was left with a small choking sound. Sirius was real. He was tangible. This wasn't some dream he was having, as he had feared it might have been when he first saw his godfather. Sirius was here, physically, and his arms were wrapped around him. Harry threw his arms around him as well. Neither of them actually said anything, but they were content just to be with each other again. Remus watched from the chair he was sitting on. He had been expecting Sirius to come, so he wasn't as shocked as Harry was, but this whole thing did leave him a little flabbergasted. It was a rather touching scene to see them reunited.

The door on the other side of the room opened, and Athena, who as looking at the ground at the time, walked in, holding several bottles of butterbeer. She looked up after she shut the door, and blew the hair out of her eyes. It took her a moment to realize what she was looking at. She saw Remus, grinning like a lunatic, sitting in the chair where she had left him. Harry, however, was standing and he had his arms around a dark-haired man whose face she could not see. She did not, at first, recognize the man, but then a wild though struck her. For some absurd reason, the back of the other man's head seemed to look extraordinarily like the back of Sirius's head. She shook her head. What was she thinking? Sirius was dead. He could not possibly be standing the room, hugging Harry. Even yet, however, something didn't quite fit with that. She looked at Remus with an inquisitive look on her face. Remus seemed to know what she was thinking and nodded.

"It's Sirius," he mouthed to her silently.

She still didn't quite believe it. Her hands were shaking slightly. She needed proof. Harry and the Sirius-look-a-like broke apart. The Sirius-look-a-like put his hands on Harry's shoulders.

"Let me get a good look at you," he said quietly.

It was then that Athena knew. She could recognize Sirius's voice anywhere, at any time. Her hands started to shake harder, and, as tears started to well in her eyes, she dropped the bottles of butterbeer in her hands. Hearing the crash the falling bottle made, Sirius turned around. He saw an awestruck Athena staring back at him, her eyes full of tears, both hands clasped to her mouth. He seemed to freeze. He wasn't quite sure what he should do; he was flooded with feelings he hadn't felt since before his term in Azkaban.

"Athena," he said quietly, unsure of himself.

"Oh, glory," she said just as quiet. She stepped forward and Sirius turned all the way around. She kept walking until there was only a foot between her and Sirius. She lifted one of her hands and rested it against his face, as though she were making sure he was real. "Oh, glory," she repeated. She, without any warning, flung her arms around Sirius and pulled herself closer to him.

Sirius was taken back. He hadn't expected her to be here, and he most certainly had not expected this reaction from her. The last thing he had really known about Athena was what Remus had told him after he had spoken to her a few summers ago. Remus told him that Athena no longer hated him, as she had after Lily and James's death, but was not quite sure if she wanted to see him. He had never expected to see her here, as one of the three people James had indicated needed to feel love towards him. After hesitating for a few moments, he wrapped his own arms around her. He missed how nice it felt to hold her in his arms. After a moment, Athena pushed away. Being a few inches shorter than Sirius, she looked up into his face. Then, with a rather stern look on her face, she placed both hands on Sirius's chest and pushed him backwards.

Sirius stumbled and his mind ran. Had he done something wrong? What had he done? The other two males in the room were wondering quite the same thing. Women truly were bamboozling. "What was that for?" Sirius asked.

Athena, still looking very stern, replied, "Don't you _ever_ do that to me again, Sirius Orion Black. I thought I lost you. _It wasn't nice_."

Sirius gave a discreet sigh of relief. She was simply upset because she had thought he was dead. Understandable. Harry probably had similar feelings. "Sorry," he said, with a rather sheepish grin.

"It's okay," she said, waving an impatient hand. "You're here now. That's what matters. Sit down. Have a drink."

Sirius sat down next to Remus. Harry took the seat next to him, and Athena sat across from Sirius. "I don't understand," Harry said when they were all seated. "I saw you go through the Veil. How . . . how can you be here? Now? It doesn't make sense."

"You're right," Sirius responded. "It doesn't make any sense. Now, I can try and explain, but you'll probably all think I'm mental."

"We already knew you were mental," Remus said dismissively. "Tell us what happened."

"True," Sirius said, grinning. "Very true. All right, when I went through the Veil, I passed into a, I don't know exactly what it was. It was sort of like a world of . . . of dead people. Let me explain. When people die, apparently, they have the option of staying in this world before moving onto heaven or hell, or whatever awaits them. Apparently, the Veil leads you there. So when I passed through, that's where I went.

"I was unconscious at the time (I was stunned, remember?). But when I woke up, I wasn't in the Department of Mysteries, as one would think, but I was in your parents' home, Harry. It was just how I remembered it before Voldemort's attack there."

"You . . . you where with Lily and James?" Athena asked in quiet disbelief.

Sirius nodded. "They were just as I remembered them," he said. "Apparently, they had been in the Department of Mysteries when I fell through and found me there. I never got a straight answer from either of them what they were doing down there in the first place. I've been with them this whole time. James explained to me that I, for some unknown reason, was not dead, even though I should have died when I passed through the Veil. That never really made sense to me either."

"So, you never died?" Harry commented. "Why couldn't you have just come back, then? Why didn't you just walk back through the Veil, or something? Shouldn't that have worked?"

"I thought the same thing," Sirius said. "Your dad had some reason why that wouldn't work, though. He's read all sorts of things about the Veil while he's been dead. He was the expert, so I just took his word for it. Anyway, after awhile, we decide that I really need to be back here. So, after the course of a few months, which were spent digging through ancient books, we, that is to say James, figured out a way to get me back here.

"We used the two-way mirrors to communicate with Remus here to help us out, and here I am now," Sirius said brightly.

"How did you use the mirrors?" Harry asked. "I broke mine after you die– er, passed through the Veil."

"You left it in your room at Grimmuald Place," Remus said. "I found the shards and repaired them. Coincidently, Sirius had just discovered his own mirror in his pocket, and was going to have a chat with you, only to find I had the mirror, not you."

"But, how come you didn't answer me when I called you after you left?" Harry asked.

Sirius blinked. "You called for me?" he asked.

"Yeah, I did."

"Um, I don't think I was wearing the robes in which I had there mirror in at the time you called, then," he said with an apologetic tone. "I had completely forgotten about it until I found it in my pocket that one night. Harry, I swear, if I had known you were trying to call me, I would have been there in a heartbeat. I never would have left you hanging like that."

Harry nodded. "I know you wouldn't have. You've never intentionally kept me waiting before."

"So," Athena asked. "What do we do from here?"

"She's got a point, mate," Remus said. "Everyone thinks you're dead. It would hardly do you any good to just walk outside right now."

That reminded Sirius suddenly of the items he carried in his pockets. He had been reminded about James wanting Sirius to be able to clear his name, which led him to think of the _Memoirs_, and the two letters for Harry. "Oh," he said suddenly, "before I forget." He pulled the letters out of his left pocket and handed them to Harry. "These are for you," he explained. "They're from your parents. They wanted to impart some words of wisdom to you." Harry didn't open the letters, but merely stared at them. These were letters from his deceased parents. These letters were possibly the only actual advice he would ever receive from his parents.

"And this," Sirius said, pulling _The Marauder Memoirs_ from his other pocket, and passed it to Remus. "Is for you. Courtesy of James."

Remus looked down at the book. "Oh my gosh," he said. "Our memoirs. I forgot they had been destroyed when during Voldemort's attack."

Sirius grinned. "Look at the last entry," he said.

Remus flipped to the back. And read aloud: " 'James. October 29, 1981. . . .Lily and I have officially been in hiding with Harry for three days now. I think. I'm not really liking this. I want to be doing something, you know, be making myself useful. Lily told me that I was being useful. I'm helping protect Harry, who has just started to call _me_ Daddy, instead of Sirius. (Just so you know, Padfoot, I know you have something to do with the reason why he has been calling you Daddy this whole time. I will seek revenge...mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha). I do feel I need to get something down on paper, just in case something goes awry. Dumbledore told us about two weeks ago that it looked like Voldemort was going to make a definite attack on us. He told Lily and me that our best chance at protecting ourselves and our son would be the use of a Fidelius Charm. If any of you don't know what that is, too bad. I feel too lazy to describe it all.'

"'Anyway, Dumbledore was pushing very hard for us to choose him as our Secret-Keeper. He knew that Voldemort would have no chance of ever finding us if he was our Secret-Keeper. I wanted Sirius, however. I don't care what anyone else says. Sirius would die himself before he would betray me. However, Sirius is not our Secret-Keeper, nor is Dumbledore. Sirius came up with the idea of using Peter as our Secret-Keeper. "It will be a perfect decoy," he assured me. He knows that Voldemort will never suspect Peter. I had my doubts, and Lily most definitely has hers. She was all for Dumbledore right from the get go. She trusts Sirius, but not to the extent that I do. When Sirius proposed that idea of using Pete instead, oh, I thought she was going to kill us all on the spot. She can be vicious when she wants to. It's terrifying. All four of us talked it over, and we eventually decided to use Peter, even though Lily was very reluctant to agree.'

"'No one but the four of us know that we're using Pete instead of Sirius. Dumbledore thinks we're using Sirius, as does Remus. Sirius wants to let Athena know, but he hasn't had the chance to tell her yet. I'm worried, though. Actually, I'm scared. If Voldemort somehow figures out that Peter is our S-K (that's Secret-Keeper, for those of us slow on the uptake...ha ha ha), I have my doubts about how long Peter will be able to withhold the information. And if Voldemort does manage to crack Peter, and attacks before we have a chance to inform Dumbledore (or anyone else for that matter), we'll probably die. Sirius will be blamed for it, too. Everyone thinks Sirius is our S-K. I'm just worried something terrible is going to happen, and no one will know the truth. Oh, and by the way, Remus, if you're reading this: I'm sorry we haven't told you anything about this. I'm sure we'll tell you soon enough.'"

"Sirius," Athena said. "This will clear your name!"

"Yes it will," he said, grinning. "James wanted me to take it with me so my name would be cleared. He seemed to be under the impression that I wouldn't be of much use if everyone thought of me as a mass-murderer."

"Well," Remus said. "There's one thing. Not everyone thinks of you as a mass-murderer, anymore. Back in September or October Athena went to the _Daily Prophet_ with the truth. We had no proof though, so currently there has been an on going investigation on the matter. A lot of people who knew you at school seem to think of the truth as a reasonable explanation. They all of a sudden seem convinced that it was against your nature to do any of that, even though they believed it for the past 15 years."

Athena nodded. "We've been trying to find solid evidence of your innocence, and this looks like exactly what we were searching for. What is it, anyway?"

Remus and Sirius laughed. "You never told her about the _Memoirs_?" Remus asked.

"I guess it never came up in conversation. These are _The Marauder Memoirs,_" he told Athena and Harry. "We've had it since our third year. It was a kind of group journal for all of us."

Harry, who had been uncharacteristically quiet through all of this, and Athena nodded. Athena, Remus, and Sirius continued to talk, and Harry only half-listened to what they were saying. This was all so bizarre to him. Sirius, who was supposed to be dead for the past five or so months, was all of a sudden back. With him, he had brought letters from Harry's deceased parents. It was all too much. Harry looked at Sirius as he talked, joked, and laughed with his old friends. He seemed to look much younger then he had when he passed through the Veil. He really resembled the man he had always seen in his parents' wedding picture. Obviously, being with Lily and James for a few months had done Sirius a whole world of good.

"You know what," Remus said, bringing Harry out of his reverie. "We really need to tell Dumbledore about this. It seems like the type of thing we should tell him about."

"That would probably be wise," Sirius said.

"Well," Athena said, "I have to get back to headquarters, so I don't think I can go along with you."

"Alright, then," Remus said. "We'll– me, Harry, and Sirius, that is– head on up to the castle, then, and sort all this out."

They all stood up; Athena said goodbye to everyone and disapparated. Sirius turned to Harry. "You ready to go?" he asked. Harry nodded numbly, for he was still trying to make sense of all this. "Okay. Let's go, then," Sirius said, smiling broadly. Remus and Harry grabbed their cloaks, and Sirius transformed into a great black dog, and they headed out of the Three Broomsticks together.

Remus turned to Harry as they walked out into the crisp, cold winter air, Sirius walking in front of them. "You're very confused, aren't you?" he asked.

"Yeah," Harry said in response. "None of this makes any sense."

"I know," Remus said. "And I doubt it ever will. I took part in what just happened, and it still doesn't make any sense."

"I guess we just don't have enough information to make sense of this," Harry mused.

"Precisely," Remus said brightly. "We're just going to have to accept this, and move on."

They continued to make their way through Hogsmeade, thoroughly enjoying themselves. Especially Sirius. He was gamboling around, snapping playfully at people's heels as they walked past, chasing squirrels, occasionally chasing his tail. Every so often, someone Harry knew would stop them and talk to him for a bit, and almost all of them reached down, almost subconsciously, to pet Sirius, causing his tail to wag gleefully. Other than that, no one paid much attention to Sirius, until Hermione, Ron, and Ginny walked out of Honeydukes together.

Hermione stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Harry, Professor Lupin, and a great black dog walk down the street together. Ron and Ginny did likewise when they spotted what she had been staring at. The dog walking with Harry and Lupin looked exactly like Sirius's animagus form. It was uncanny how similar they looked. Harry spotted them and waved them over.

"Harry," Hermione said as they caught up. "This dog looks a lot–"

"What do you mean 'a lot'?" Ron asked. "It looks _exactly_ like Sirius."

Ginny was on her knees, petting the dog. "If I didn't know better," she said, looking up at Harry and Lupin, scratching the dog behind the ear, "I'd say it was Sirius."

"He, uh, well," Harry mumbled trying to find the right words. "He is Sirius."

Everyone seemed to freeze. Hermione was the first to speak, "Harry, this can't be Sirius. Sirius is dead."

Lupin smiled at Hermione. "It can't be Sirius," he said. "But it is. It's a long and complicated story, but I'm sure Harry will be more than glad to explain it to you later. Right now, however, we need to speak with Professor Dumbledore. We'll see you all later."

Harry grinned at his friends' dumbfounded faces. "I'll see you guys in a bit," he said, heading towards the castle with Lupin and Sirius. "I'll explain it all then."

When they reached the castle, the hallways were mercifully empty. Harry couldn't have imagined what they would say if they met someone in the halls. How do you explain having a great black dog and a former teacher walking with you down the corridors? They reached the gargoyle that guarded the entrance to Dumbledore's office with no one seeing them. "Chocolate frog," Remus said when they got there.

The gargoyle sprang to life and moved aside, and the stone wall behind it split open, revealing a moving staircase. As soon as they were on the staircase, Sirius adopted his human form again. The ascended the staircase and came to the hardwood door to Dumbledore's office. Remus knocked, and the door opened and revealed Dumbledore pacing around his office. He turned to see who had knocked at his door. The look on Dumbledore's face was the closest thing to shock that any of the three had ever seen. However, he quickly recovered from it.

"Sirius," he said calmly. "Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"Probably," was the answer.

Dumbledore studied Sirius for quite sometime, before saying "I think I need to hear what happened." He made direct eye contact with Sirius, then with Harry. "Harry, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to step out of my office while we discuss this. You can talk with Sirius afterwards," he said in his calm and wise manner.

Harry was disappointed, but nodded and left the office. He wasn't sure how long it would take Sirius, Lupin, and Dumbledore to talk, and he didn't know where Sirius would look for him after they were done, so he just sat on the staircase. If he 'accidently' heard anything they were discussing, then it wasn't his fault, he reasoned. He dug his hand in his pocket, and pulled out the two letters written by his parents. He looked at them for a few minutes, before decidedly opening the one from his mother first and reading it.

_My Dearest, Darlingest, Harry,_

_You know, I've always liked the name Harry. I was the one who chose it. Your dear godfather wanted us to name you something like Jaleel. And, for some absurd reason, your father seemed to be okay with it all. I always knew they were both half-crazy. Speaking of Sirius, he and I were talking while he was here. He mentioned that you had a, er, run-in with some memories of a 15 year old Severus Snape at the end of our fifth year. He said that you made a comment asking why I ever married James, because it seemed by the memory that I hated him. Let me explain, because I would hate for you to run away with false impressions of your father. He is, really, an extraordinary person._

_I never hated James, Harry (although I did say that I did once or twice, but that's besides the point). I can't really say that I was all that fond of him, though, when we were teenagers. When we first met, you father was very much a typical (and at the same time very atypical) 11 year old boy, who just wanted to have fun and enjoy himself (which he did). And, of course, being in the same House and the same year_, _we saw quite a lot of each other. My first impression of him was that he was an immature little jerk, and first impressions are often hard to get rid of. But, you see, Harry, I have this very annoying (or, at least, it's annoying for me) of seeing good qualities in everyone, even when they couldn't see it themselves, or when I didn't want to. There have been very few people whom I could outright dislike because I could always see something good about them. With James, however, I was determined not to pick out his good qualities, and because I was determined I managed to succeed for a while. I was so stuck on my first impression of him, that nothing I saw could really change it. Granted, until he was older, he didn't do much to change that._

_Anyway, around my third or fourth year, I did start to see the good in him. You'll find that if you dislike someone enough, you start paying more and more attention to them, and eventually you'll find something you like about them. I actually found several that I was rather envious of, namely the way he could make mistakes and just move on. He could even laugh at his mistakes. I was a bit of a perfectionist as a teenager. Making mistakes was never something that easy for me to do. But that's not the point; I'm getting off topic. I realized that if I paid attention to the things about James that I liked, then I would start liking him. And if I started to like him, then I could possibly fall in love with him. And I didn't_ _want that. I was afraid to like him_. _There were just too many things about him that just didn't sit well with me. This may or may not make much sense to you. I've explained it all to James on many occasions, and he remains convinced that it makes no sense. He said that out of all the women he had ever met, my mind was the hardest to make sense of. I took it as a compliment._

_James also tried too hard. He was always trying to impress me, always trying to showoff, and it never worked. I just thought it made him look stupid and arrogant. Let that be a lesson to you. Never try too hard to impress a girl, Harry. If you try too hard, you end up looking like a fool, and you'll probably be worse off than when you started. If the girl really matters, and really cares about you, you'll impress them without ever trying to._

_So, I went on despising your father. He kept acting arrogant, and idiotic, and annoying, so I kept turning him down. Then, after our sixth year, when we left Hogwarts for the summer, I could tell he left with something on his mind. Something to mull over. And we came back as seventh years. I was Head Girl and shocked to find that James Potter was Head Boy. James was different. He seemed to mature several years in just one summer. He no longer tried to impress me, but when we were around each other, he was always very polite and sincere to me, and yet, it was obvious that he still liked me. I liked the change he had made, and I was starting to like him, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to or not._

_Around late October, my best friend (who was dating Sirius at the time) convinced me to let James take me out on a date. A casual thing. She even said that I could insist on making it a double date (which I did) and have her and Sirius tag along. I agreed. So we all went out on a Hogsmeade weekend. Your father was so adorable. He wanted everything to be perfect, and tried very hard to make sure that everything _was_ perfect. It was very obvious that he fancied me like there was no tomorrow, and that he wanted me to like him as well. He was so sincere, and yet, very affectionate. I remain convinced that it was that night he stole my heart. I told him that once, and he replied by saying it took him months before he realized he had my heart, but once he did, he held onto it for dear life and beat anyone else who was after it off with a stick. Your father really is a peculiar man, Harry, but I love him all the same. I never would have married him if I didn't. Just know that I loved James with all my heart. I still do, in fact._

_Now, a few quick life lessons for you. One: always have your heart open, ready to love anyone who needs it. Love is probably the greatest power in existence. You never know what impact your love will have on others. Love can save lives, can heal wounds, and open worlds to you that you never knew existed. Don't let the fear of a broken heart prevent you from loving. Two: learn from the world's mistakes. You're going to see things go awry quite often. Don't you want to change it? This is your time, Harry. Take advantage of it. Learn from the world's mistakes by realizing there's a right way to do things. Three: be the type of person who can laugh at themselves. Harry, you're going to screw up occasionally. And, when you do, there is probably going to be someone there who is going to ridicule you because of it. Don't let it bother you. Don't be afraid to look at it, and laugh and say "Wow. I really butchered that, didn't I?" People will respect you for it. Don't be too hard on yourself, and learn to move on. I would give you more advice, but nothing else is really coming to my mind at the moment. _

_I would like to apologize for (or perhaps, sympathize with) a few things. Now, this is going to sound really stupid to you, most likely, but I'm sorry you have James's hair. When I was pregnant with you, and found out that you were a boy, James told me right away that you were going to have his hair. He claims that every man in his family for ages has had that same untidy, jet black hair. I never exactly liked that hair, and I told James that you wouldn't have his hair if there was I anything I could do to help it, but you did anyway. James, on the other hand, is practically in love with his hair. (As far as I know, though, he is the only one who does like that hair. His brother hates it). If you like your hair, good for you. You're one of the few in the family who does. If you don't, I'm sorry. I would have changed it if I could. I'm also very sorry that you've had to live with Petunia for all these years. She can be vile; I think she likes being vile, actually. And that cow-like man she married hates magic even more than she does. I can't imagine that their son has turned out much better, either. If anyone understands how terrible Petunia can be, it would be me. But, even still, she is my sister. I'm sure we love each other deep, deep, deep down. She can be rather understanding when she has her mind on it. I never had any intention of you living with her, dear._

_Oh, Harry, even though I'm dead, I love you more than you could possibly imagine. Your father does, as well. I'm so proud of what you've done and who you are turning out to be. Always have faith that things will work out in the end, even in the darkest of times. I want you to live a long and happy life. I know James wants you to live longer than he did (he is so odd about that. He remains convinced that there was some sort of curse on his generation of Potters, because all of them have died young. He and his brother both died in their twenties, and most of their cousins died young, as well. He wants you to be able to carry on the family name). I want you to fall in love with a beautiful young woman and marry her, and have beautiful children that Sirius can spoil for me. Then, at the ripe age of– oh, I don't know– 105, you can die peacefully in your sleep, and James and I will be waiting here for you with open arms._

_Live life to the fullest,  
With all my love,  
Lily_

Harry read over the letter several times, taking in as much of it as he possibly could, before turning to the next letter. This one (of course) was written by his father, a man who Harry had yet to figure out. From what he had seen in the pensieve, his father was an arrogant bully, just like Snape had always told him. From what almost everyone but Snape told him, his father was a good, honorable man, who could, at times, be a bit peculiar. He wasn't quite sure who he was supposed to believe. He looked down at the envelope. Across the front it read: _To My Son (Wow. That sounds really cool. Son. Son. Sonsonsonsonsonsonsonson. Son. Ha ha...I can't say that enough. Son. You are my son. Son. Son. Son. Sorry. You must think I'm off my rocker, now.) _Without hesitation, he opened the letter and read his father's words for him.

_My Beloved Son (I really don't get to say the enough),_

_I really hope Sirius remembers to give this to you. He has a rather annoying tendency to forget things like this. He'll probably get caught up in the moment of being alive, forget about this letter, and wash his robes; the letter would be destroyed, and then where would we be? Well, this is all pointless speculation, seeing as how you'll either be reading this letter, knowing that Sirius did not forget, or you'll not and you'll never know that this letter ever existed. Besides, Sirius will remember this if I ask him to. He's never let me down before._

_Anyway, Harry, seeing as how we've never really been able to talk, for obvious reasons, I thought I would seize this chance to pass on some gems of wisdom to you (although, I'm sure if you ask your mother, she'll tell you I don't have any gems of wisdom . . . I love her so much. Honestly, I've been married to the most fabulous woman ever for nearly twenty years, and she is still the same smart, spunky, gorgeous woman I fell in love with . . . Sorry, I'm rambling, aren't I?). So, back to the gems of wisdom. What you do with my advice is your choice, as is everything in life, Harry. You can choose what you with none,some, or all of this letter._

_So, onto the gems._

_First of all, before I really get to the gems, I want to tell you how proud I am of you. Harry, you have faced more adversity in just 16 years than I probably did in my entire life. You have already escaped death by Voldemort's hand 5 times, which is more than I can attest to; I only managed to get away 3 times. In your third year, you discovered the truth that set my best friend, my brother, free . . . sort of. I mean, everyone else still thought he was a mad mass murder, but you knew the truth and saved him from a terrible fate. And, on top of all this, you are generally a better person than I was at your age. I'll be the first to admit that I was an idiot as a teenager. I was immature, arrogant, a bit self-righteous . . . well, not all of the time, but for a good chunk of it, at least. I'm sure you'll find later in life that many teenagers act like that. Most of them don't have the experience to make them mature until they're older (ha ha . . . for some reason, I nearly wrote ugly instead of older). You've dealt with things others could not possibly imagine, and you still manage to be and extraordinary person, according to Sirius. In short, just know that I am proud of the person you are turning out to be._

_All right, onto the gems of wisdom . . . for real this time._

_First, and most importantly, I want you to know that life is all about the choices you make. You decide whom you become and what you do. People can advise you to move in certain directions, but it is ultimately you who decides what happens to you. My old friends, I think, are prime examples of this. Sirius, for instance, comes from a family of Dark Wizards, as I'm sure you know. They (his parents, really) were always pushing, or trying to push, at least, him towards the Dark Side, but Sirius always hated it. Everything about it. It was his choice to become the person he is today. He could have easily just gone along with what his family always told him. He could have ended up just like his cousins, or his younger brother. Heck, it would have made his home life easier. He could have, but he didn't, because he chose not too. Remus is the same way, only different. I mean, you try being a werewolf. It's not easy. He could have quite easily just given up and become a hard and bitter person. There are people who, in the face of great trials and suffering, will just give up. They will harden their hearts and turn away from the world. I can tell you now that there were times when Remus did feel like doing exactly that, but he always chose to keep going._

_I am going to give you the advice my older brother, your uncle, Jared gave me a few months before he died. He told me that I would often be offered choices in my life. And sometimes, but not all of the time, there would be two distinct options: One right, and one easy. Harry, you've already been faced with such choices, and they've been hard to make. Easy is often very tempting. Never choose the easy, Harry, because it will never bring you happiness. I'm telling you this because these choices are only going to get harder. I give you my word that if you always choose what you know to be right, you will never have any regrets on how you lived your life. You will be able to die in the end with your head held high, knowing that you did the right thing._

_Onto gem number two: Have hope and enjoy the little things in life. The world is entering dark times, as it often is. Things are going to look bleak and the newspapers are going to make everything look hopeless. Don't let it get to you, Harry. Always have hope. It may get crushed, occasionally, but it will help pull you through the darkest of times in your life. The world will bounce back, you just have to give it a chance. Right along with hope is knowing how to enjoy the little things that bring you joy. That make you laugh. Have something, no matter how stupid or silly it may seem, that you look forward to. It could be as simple as playing a game of chess with you friends. It could be the stupidest and most pointless thing you could possibly think of, but if it makes you happy, go for it. I have things like that in my own life . . . er, death . . . er, afterlife (?). For instance, I look forward to any occasion in which you dear, sweet mother has an excuse to make her chocolate cake. I would kill for the stuff. Having enjoyable tings in your life, Harry, can enrich your life, and brighten your outlook on it. Seize them, and hold onto them as if nothing else mattered._

_Now, onto what I think might be my last piece of advice for now. Harry, not matter what happens, I want you to have trust and faith in your friends. They want you to succeed, so let them help you. Good friends are probably the most miraculous gift you could ever be given. According to Sirius, you have found a few good ones for yourself. Don't be afraid to open up to you friends. They often have amazing insight to your problems. They will gladly and willingly do anything for you, simply because that's what friends do. They'll tell you the truth, no matter how painful, if you ask them to. They are on your side, no matter what. They will try and help, but they won't know how to unless you let them know what the problem is. Don't shut them out. It will hurt you as well as them. I can recall quite clearly a time when two, out of my three best friends, closed me, and what seemed to be the rest of the world, out. Granted, for one of them, part of it was my fault for being an inconsiderate little berk, but that's besides the point. The two of them wouldn't talk to each other, and neither of them would talk to me. I could tell, though, that they were both trying to figure things out, but were getting more confused as they did so. It just about killed me to see this all, because I couldn't do anything to help, because they wouldn't let me. It took us a while, but eventually we all swallowed our pride, and we managed to work through it. Don't let that happen to you. Don't let your friends close you out, either. Let them help you, and help them in return. That's what friendship means. _

_Those are my gems of wisdom for you, son (have I mentioned how cool I think that sounds? Son. I don't get to say it very often). I do, however, have a few more things for you to keep in mind. First of all, am sending Sirius back to you even though you thought he was gone. Please consider this birthday and Christmas gifts for the last 15 years that I missed. Merlin knows I don't expect you ever got much from Lily's family. They're horrid people, aren't they? I met them once, and I can honestly say I never want to see them again. I want you to keep in mind, however, that I'm not going to be able to do this every time someone close to you snuffs it. By some fluke, or luck, or fate, or whatever, Sirius was never actually dead, and wherefore, we could send him back. It was a once in a lifetime situation. It won't happen again. I also want you to know that I only have one regret about my death. I would never in a million years regret dying while trying to give you and your mother a chance to escape. If I went through that same night for all eternity, I would always do it the same way. The one thing I regret us not being able to watch you grow up. I was really looking forward to raising you. I regret not being able to do it. Actually, before you were born, I had a whole list of things I wanted to teach you, things I wanted to do with you. Your mum thought I was insane, but she's thought that for awhile now. And, finally, a little tip for you concerning Sirius. You see, there are going to be times when Sirius will have answers to questions that you desperately want the answers too, but he, in the attempt of being responsible, will refuse to tell you. This might have happened before, I'm not sure. If it has, then you know that Sirius can be astonishingly stubborn when he wants to. Now, there are two ways to get him to give in. First, try calling him "Uncle Padfoot" or "Uncle Sirius". It's stupid, I know, but he taught you how to call him that while you were learning to talk. It's some sort of term of endearment, I'm pretty sure. Calling him that will make his heart melt and he'll answer any question you have for him. I don't suggest using this in a public setting . . . it might make you look rather foolish. If that doesn't work (mind, Sirius will probably murder me for telling you this), when you're having a conversation with him, and you're trying to coax information out of him, work the words "Serious" and "Seriously" into conversation as much as you can possibly manage. It works best when you fix it in close to his name. It'll drive him nuts, and he'll eventually crack just to get you to stop. I figured that might help you out in the future days. Sirius, as much as I love him, can be a bit pig headed at times. Keep in mind what I've told you, enjoy life, stay safe, and remember that Lily and I love you._

_Your loving father (wow, that sound cool too),  
James_

Harry had read through James's letter several times, and his mother's once more, before the door to Dumbledore's office opened again. He turned around to Sirius step out and close the door behind him. Sirius smiled at him. "Remus and Dumbledore are still talking, but I'm free to go. Do you know somewhere where we can talk privately?" he asked.

"I know just the place," Harry said, standing up, folding the letters and putting them in his pocket.

They walked down the stairs, and, after Sirius had transformed, Harry led Sirius to the Room of Requirement on the seventh floor. After pacing past the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy three times, concentrating on a room where he could to talk to Sirius privately, a door appeared. Harry opened the door, and Sirius followed. The room wasn't as large as it was for the D.A. meetings last year, and all the Dark Detectors were gone, as were the tall bookshelves filled with books on defensive against the dark arts. Instead, there were two large, and very comfortable-looking arm chairs, a clock on the wall, a table on which several bottles of butterbeer stood, and a fireplace with a blazing fire. The room felt very homey and comfortable.

Sirius transformed back after Harry closed the door. He looked around in awe. Before sinking down into one of the arm chairs. "What is this place?" he asked Harry, still looking around the room. "I think we marked this room down as a closet on the map."

"It's called the Room of Requirement," he answered, flopping down on the chair across from Sirius. "It basically creates a room with anything, and everything that you need in it, when you need it. We used it for the D.A. last year"

Sirius nodded. "Impressive," he said. "Like I said, we always thought this was some sort of closet. Every time we stumbled across it, it was a closet. It always popped up when we were trying to hide. It was very useful. "

"So, how does it feel to be back?" Harry asked.

"It feels better than you can possibly imagine, Harry. It feels so . . . I don't know. Refreshing. It's wonderful," Sirius commented, smiling broadly. "So, did you read the lettes from your parents yet?"

"Yeah," Harry replied. He then thought of his mother's letter. "Did you really want to name me Jaleel?" he asked.

"What?" Harry pulled out his mother's letter and indicated that Sirius should read the first paragraph. Sirius scanned the paragraph and turned back to Harry. "I never wanted them to name you Jaleel. I'm not that crazy. I was pulling for the name Gerrard. Remus, I believe, thought it would be hilarious if they named you Sirius-James, you know, just one name. He kept suggesting that. So, what else did the letters say? They wouldn't let me read them."

"Just some advice they wanted to give me," Harry said, not wanting to go into full detail, even with Sirius. They were rather sentimental. "Things they wanted to tell me, or let me know. They both told me that they were proud of me, and that they loved me. You know, just things like that."

"That's good," Sirius said. "James and Lily both told me that they regretted not being able to talk to you, give you help when you needed it, like parents are supposed to. James told me that's why he wanted me back here, even though I'm sure he was thoroughly enjoying my company." He grinned. "He wanted me here so I could help you in his stead."

Harry nodded. "Well, to say I'm glad to have you back would be the biggest understatement of the century. What did you and Dumbledore talk about?"

Sirius shrugged. "A lot of things. I told him what happened after I passed through the Veil. We talked about what we should do now, seeing as how people think I'm dead."

"What'd you decide?" Harry asked.

"Well, I'm going to lay low for a while. Meanwhile, someone's going to come forth with the _Memoirs_ to clear my name. Sometime after that, I can come back, alive and well. I have to pretend I have no idea what happened after I passed through the Veil, but that should be easy enough."

"Where are you going to lie low?" Harry asked. "Back at Grimmuald Place?'

Sirius let out a bark laugh. "Hell no!" he said. "I'm not going back there until I absolutely have to. Dumbledore said I could go anywhere, so long as no one'll recognize me. I was thinking of going to a beach. You know, get some sun, a nice tan. I was also thinking of taking Athena along with me; we have some things we need to talk about. I don't know if anyone told you, but Athena and I were engaged before your parents died. What d'you think?"

"Yeah, Lupin told me before school started," Harry said. "The beach sounds great. How long will you be gone?"

"No longer than a couple of weeks, I think. And it's not like we can't write or anything like that," Sirius said. "In fact, while I'm gone, I'm going to expect a letter every few days from you. If I don't get them, I'm coming back to see what's wrong."

Harry laughed. "All right. Same goes for you, though. What're you planning on doing when you get back?"

"Well, I'm going to have to stand trial for being an illegal animagus, it looks like. But, I can't really see them doing anything about it, seeing as how I've already spent 12 years in Azkaban for nothing. It'll sort of balance itself out, you know? After that, though, I'm thinking of getting myself a house in the country. Some place nice and calm, where I can enjoy myself when I want to. I was also looking forward to doing something useful for the Order. I was kind of getting sick of being cooped up in Grimmuald Place."

Harry glanced at the clock on the wall. It was nearing time for dinner; Ron and Hermione would be coming back from Hogsmeade in a little while, wanting answers to the questions they had. Sirius recognized the look Harry wore. He had to leave. "You've got to go, don't you?" Sirius asked. Harry nodded. "All right. I'll see you in a couple of weeks then. And I'll hear from you in a few days, I expect." He stood up, and Harry did likewise.

They embraced one last time, and Harry dais, quite distinctly, "Good to have back, Sirius. It's good to have you back."

The End

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**final an:** do you have any idea how satisfying writing "The End" is...its a marvelous feeling. Anyways, even though this is the last chapter, I'm looking forward to all your reviews. If you have any questions, I'll answer them when I post a preview of sorts for my next fic in a few weeks. Thank you for all your support in my endeavor to write this fic. It means a lot too me 

thanks to everyone who has ever reviewed. I would list you all, but I seem to be a bit short on time...I'll list you all later, I think, and give out some more virtual sweets.

till next time  
Delano


	20. Epilogue of Sorts

**an:** ok...here is my wonderful preview for my next fic, which is a prequel to Shadowed Veil. It pretty much recounts (is that a word, or did I just make that up?) the last 7, I think, years of Lily and James's life, as well as their friends' lives at the time (basically year 5 til they're about 22...that's 7 years, right?). The exerpt below is the last half of the first chapter, and the first half of the secondchapter. I couldn't make up my mind which I wanted to post, so I compromised.  
And just real quick, as to the format of this fiction: This is primarily based around our beloved Marauders, but I must include the dear women in their lives, which, as I came up with the idea of the _Memiors_ presented a problem. How could I tell a story from the girls' perspectives at times, when the _Memiors_ are written in first person? Solution: the majority of the story is a third person narrative. However, at the end of the each chapter, there is an exerpt from the _Memiors_ that was written in relation to what is happening in their lives (the narrative) at the time. Understand? Hopefully you do. Example, in case you don't: In the middle of this, there is an exerpt from the _Memiors _written by Sirius that coincides with what just happened to him. Also, something to keep in mind (and to keep you guys from possibly being confused), the _Memiors _were passed between all four boys. They would read what their friends had written a few days after it was written (occasionally while it was being written) and felt that they must add their own comments, and marginal notes. You'll understand what I mean when you read it.

reviewer responses are at the end

Enjoi

(Oh, real quick...breif warning: the in the beginning of this, there is quite a bit of swearing...if it bothers you, i am sorry)

* * *

Sirius could still hear his mother yelling at him from downstairs. Not for the first time, an argument had erupted in the Black household. In the recent years, the longest Sirius and his mother had ever gone without arguing with each other was a week and a half. It wasn't exactly the epitome of a mother-son relationship. Sirius could never remember actually liking his mother, even for just a brief period of time. Ever since he had started school, however, his dislike had slowly turned into hate. He couldn't stand to be in the same house with the woman, nonetheless the same room. Normally, during school holidays, he'd spend his time at one of his friend's house, putting as much distance between him and his family as he possibly could without actually leaving the country. This summer, unfortunately for him, his parents said that was not an option. 

This past summer was his parents' attempt at "reforming" him. They had gotten fed up with Sirius and his views and outlooks on society. Sirius had always failed to see what made pure-blood wizards any better than half-bloods or muggleborns. His parents and younger brother, however, seemed to think that they were superior and the fact that they were pure-bloods made them practically royalty. For years, Oedipus and Nerissa Black had thought that there was, quite possibly, something mentally wrong with their eldest son. He seemed to naturally lack proper pure-blood pride, but worse than that, he didn't care about it at all. For sometime they ignored it, telling themselves that once he went to Hogwarts, and was sorted into Slytherin, he would naturally conform to the opinions and views as his classmates. There was one problem with their plan, however. Sirius was never sorted into Slytherin.

By the time Sirius had turned eleven, he had grown to detest his family enough that he would have sold his kidney on the black market not to be sorted into Slytherin. Consequently, he was put in Gryffindor, who just so happened to be Slytherins natural rival. Members of both houses were constantly going head to head with each other, and that suited Sirius just fine. Just like his parents had thought, Sirius adopted the views that his classmates in Gryffindor held; not because he was trying to conform, but because he agreed with them. For the first time in his life he didn't feel that he was constantly being ridiculed for his opinions. He was accepted by people who, like him, felt that there was no shame in having muggle blood. Being accepted by others made it easier for him accept himself, something that he had a hard time doing before. Even though he did hate his family, it was hard for him to be comfortable with himself when his parents had constantly berated him and beat at his self-esteem. As a result, he came home every summer more and more confident about himself and more and more proud of his political and social opinions.

This past summer, however, Mr. Black had decided he had had enough of his son's "unnatural behavior" and that it was time to "put a stop to it, once and for all." For Sirius, this just meant that the summer before his fifth year at school was going to be hell. His parents went all out, too. Not only was he forbidden to leave the house without a member of his immediate family, which Sirius found particularly painful, as he enjoyed running to clear his mind, but they successfully tried to sever his ties with all of his friends. The entire summer, not only had he not been able to contact James, Remus, and Peter, but he had not been able to receive their letters as well. Mrs. Black had given their house-elf direct orders to go through the post and burn anything and everything that was sent to Sirius, save his letter from Hogwarts. He had been forced to attend all family functions, which there seemed to be an unusual amount of. At home, he would spend hours at a time locked in his room, just trying to escape his treacherous family. Even this, however, his parents would not allow him to have. He was forced to be in their presence for as long as his parents could manage. They wanted him to be under their influence for as long as possible, trying to force their views upon Sirius.

All in all, Sirius was miserable for the duration of the summer. As he hardly went outside, he had become unnaturally pale. He quickly lost his appetite after the first week and hardly ever ate, and only attended meals when his parents forced him to; but even then he was always the last to arrive and the first to leave. Sometime at the end of July, Sirius did have a small bout of luck, however. He managed to get a single letter out of the house to his best friend, informing him of his current predicament and pleading for a rescue attempt. He knew that after that letter, his house was almost bombarded with letters from James, but Sirius had watched Kreacher, their house-elf, burn all the letters miserably. The summer did not seem to have an end for Sirius. He had been terrified that his parents would forbid him to return to Hogwarts, and he would be stuck in Grimmuald Place for the rest of his life. However, now there was a glimmer of hope. Today was the first of September and in about fifteen minutes, he would be at King's Cross Station about to board the Hogwarts Express. He would finally be free from his family, if he didn't die in their current argument, that is.

"GET BACK DOWN HERE, YOU USELESS PIECE OF FILTH!" his mother's voice floated up through the narrow hallway.

"Yeah, call me names, that's going to get me downstairs real quick," Sirius muttered, grabbing his trunk. He knew that he was going to have to go down stairs soon, anyway, unless he wanted to be stuck at Grimmuald place for the school year. He yelled down to her, "WHY? SO YOU CAN BLOODY YELL AT ME MORE, YOU CRAZY OLD HAG?"

That set his mother off again; Sirius laughed as his mother yelled stupid insults at him. Only Nerissa Black could be idiotic enough to yell insults like "shame of my flesh." Sirius still had to figure out how exactly that was meant to insult him. After a bit more yelling (it was very rejuvenating, mind you), Sirius did finally come downstairs. As soon as he had, however, he wished that he hadn't.

"It's about time you got down here, you bastard," she snarled. Sirius froze where he was standing. It was never a good sign when his mother started swearing. It typically meant that she was beyond sensible reasoning."I have half the mind not to let you go back to that school. I knew we should have sent you to Durmstrang, maybe then you wouldn't be so messed up. But then again, perhaps it's those despicable excuses for wizards that you call friends that ruined you. Blood-traitors, and filthy half-bloods. Little better than scum, if they're better at all. They don't belong in our world," she hissed at him venomously. "They're not worthy enough to lick the dirt off my shoes, nonetheless associate with my son."

As soon as she had said the word 'friends' Sirius had immediately clenched his teeth and tried to keep his temper under control. _Just a little bit longer,_ he said to himself. _Then you'll never have to deal with her again. _However, as soon as she mentioned worthiness, he lost all control.

"WORTHY ENOUGH? YOU MAD OLD HAG! THEY ARE BETTER PEOPLE THAN YOU WILL EVER BE! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF THEIR WORTHINESS! _YOU_ AREN'T EVEN WORTHY ENOUGH TO LOOK AT THEM, NOT TO MENTION TO SPEAK OF THEM, _YOU - HEINOUS - OLD - BITCH!_" he yelled, louder than he ever had. He was actually trembling, he was so furious.

His father, however, wasn't about to let his loathsome son speak of his wife that way. Before either Nerissa or Sirius could do anything more, Oedipus Black grabbed his elder son by both arms and forcefully spun him around.

"_Get your hands off of me,_" Sirius hissed, still trembling. He wrenched out of his father's grip. His father instantly grabbed him again, this time holding more firmly so he couldn't get away.

"Don't you _ever_ speak to your mother like that, _again, Sirius,"_ he spat in Sirius's face. Suddenly and violently, he spun Sirius so his back was against the wall. Lifting him bodily off the ground, he pinned Sirius to the wall. He continued, his voice dripping with malevolence: "If you _ever_ even _think _of treating your mother like that again, I _swear,_ I swear that I will beat your sorry ass so bad that you won't ever see the light of day again, _do you hear me boy? _I swear, I will crucio your weak pathetic ass until there's _nothing_ left of you. Not a single goddamned thing."

Sirius stared at his father in horror. Never once could he remember the man ever speaking to him like that, and quite frankly, he was terrified. His father was a man of his word. If he said he would cast an unforgivable curse upon his son for showing disrespect, then he would. Regulus and Nerissa watched the entire scene with a mix of horror and twisted amusement. The entire house went silent for the first time in ages. Sirius was still pinned to the wall when his brother quietly said, "Put him down, Dad. We're going to be late, otherwise."

As if suddenly realizing that he was pinning his son to the wall, he let Sirius go. The entire family seemed to snap back to reality. They headed out to the car as if nothing had happened; Sirius kept playing the conversation over and over again in his head. He couldn't forget it. He had known that his parents could stand him about as much as he could stand them, but their distaste for each other had never reached the point of physical threats. Granted, his mother was always threatening him during their arguments, but how can anyone take someone who yells things like"shame of my flesh" up the stairs seriously? Too much inbreeding in pure-blooded families- it created loons like his mother.

For Sirius, the car ride to King's Cross couldn't go fast enough. He needed to get away from his family before something else happened. After what seemed like an eternity, they pulled and climbed out of the car. As soon as the family passed through the barrier between platforms 9 and 10 and onto platform 9 3/4, Sirius fully realized he was free at last. He instantly parted from his so-called family without a second thought about it.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

_The Marauder Memoirs:_

Sirius. Sometime towards the beginning of our fifth year _Note to Sirius: Learn how to date these bloody things properly. James**. Note to James: Who cares? Sirius.**_:

I remember very clearly the first time I ever went to James's house. My whole life I had lived in a house where I was unappreciated on the best of days, and unloved on the rest of them. Being as young as I was, I just thought that everyone's homes where like that. I didn't know anything else. I stayed at James's place for the last few weeks over the summer before our third year. It was the first time I had ever been at his place, and I had expected it to be much like my own. I thought his parents would be as indifferent to him as mine were to me. I showed up at his place, and as soon as I went through the door, I could feel there was something different about his home. It took me only an hour or so to realize what was different: his parents had cultivated a home where James and his older brother were loved. It was so different from my home that even after only a few days of staying there, I wanted what James had, but I knew I would never have it in my own family. And yet, while I didn't have it in my family, it was present in my life. I could tell that James thought of me as a brother, and his parents seemed to like me well enough. Ever since then, I seemed to realize that blood was not what made a family, but– and I know this sounds cliched– love. From that point on, I really didn't consider those lunatics I lived with over the summer my family. I had a different family. A family who loved me. A family at school.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Sirius pushed his hair out of his eyes and began scanning the crowd for his friends. He spotted Remus a ways off talking to his father.

"Remus!" he yelled through the crowd, knowing his friend would here him.

Remus turned around, and after spotting his friend, he yelled "Sirius!" in much the same manner. Sirius ran to catch up with him.

"Glory, Sirius," he commented as Sirius caught up to him. "You look almost as terrible as I do." He was, of course, referring to the fact that Sirius looked very pale and slightly malnourished.

"Yeah, but you have an excuse to look terrible," Sirius replied lightly. The full moon had been less than a week before.

"I'm not too sure about that. Being locked up with _your_ family seems like a pretty good excuse to me."

"James told you?" Sirius asked.

"Yup. We planned for a couple of weeks on ways to break you out, but none of them would have worked out," he replied, but then added, "Well, some of them would have, but they involved blowing up your house."

Sirius laughed, "I don't think that would have been all that bad."

"Yes, but you would have still been in the house at the time."

"Oh." He scanned the crowd again. "James here yet?"

"I haven't seen him. Let's go find a compartment, and then see if he's here yet."

"He's always late," Sirius grumbled. "Because of him we were stuck in a compartment with a bunch of first years last year. Remember that?"

Remus snorted. "How could I forget?You and James scared the crap out of them."

"It was fun, though." Remus shrugged. They found an empty compartment in the back and left their trunks there. They were making their way back off the train and back onto the platform when Athena ran into them, literally.

"Hey, Remus, Sirius, have either of you seenPotter around?" she asked, sounding rather annoyed and flusteredat the same time.

"No," Sirius said. "I don't think he's here yet."

"The bloody git. He's always late," she mumbled. "When you see him, though, tell him that I need to talk to him, like, now!" She ran off, leaving almost as suddenly as she appeared.

"Wow," Sirius muttered as she left, staring at her the whole time.

"What?"

"She got hot over the summer," he said breathlessly.

"What are you talking about? She was always hot," Remus said.

"No, before she was just good looking. Now, well, now she's hot. Sexy, if you will," Sirius said, still staring.

Remus frowned. He had thought that Athena was gorgeous for the past year. He thought she was clever and witty and graceful and beautiful and caring and understanding, vivacious, spunky. He could go on for hours about her. He knew that Sirius knew nothing about his secret infatuation with her; James was the only one who did. James had picked up on it quite easily, as if he had a sixth sense to tell such things. Last year, he constantly bugged Remus to just get a grip on his nerves and ask her out.

"What's the worst that could happen?" he had asked over and over again. The answer to the question was obvious, to Remus at least. She could say no, and than where would he be? No, he much preferred to harbor his secret crush in, well, secret. But now if Sirius was after her...

Sirius was known around the school for being able to have which ever girl he wanted. He was good looking, and he could be very charming when he wanted to be. Girls thought he a prime example of "hunkiness" and that alone seemed to captivate most of them. If he wanted to go out with Athena, chances were, most likely, that he'd manage it. Remus was silently crushed; he stood no chance next to Sirius. He was skinny and awkward. He wasn't all that outgoing and he was incredibly shy. He was convinced that anyone given the choice between him and Sirius would choose Sirius without a second thought.

Remus sighed. _I'll just worry about that when it comes to it,_ he thought to himself. _Sirius does have a tendency to chase anything female with legs. He might not be serious about this. _

"Come on," Sirius said, unaware of his friend's thoughts. "Let's go find James and Pete."

* * *

**reviewer respones:  
to everyone in general:** there were a lot of you guys this time, so unless you had a specific comment or concren, I'm thanking you all here. Thank you all so much for all the support you have given me while I've been writing this story, and I'm glad that you all enjoyed it. When I started posting back in October, I never expected that I would end up here, with people who enjoyed my story the whole way through. I don't think you understand, unless you write yourself, how great it feels to check your e-mail account and see that you have reviews. I mean, I have friends who read my work, but I expect them to. But you guys, nearly all of you are complete strangers, and it feels so awesome to know there are people who like your work when you didn't tell them to read it. Once again, thank you so much. I appreciate all of you.  
**leopardbabe:** I don't know if there will be a sequel. My mind set right now, after finishing reading Half-Blood Prince, is no. If you have finished reading the book, then you might realize how hard it will be to tie in my story to where Jo is taking her stories. Mind you, this is not a deffinate no. If I have enough time to mull it over, I might be able to pull out a sequel...who knows?  
**forestofgreenjello:** you know what? you have been one of my favorite reviewers. Ever since you first reviewd back at chapter 8, claiming you wanted to rip off Actaeon's head, I have looked forward to reading your reviews and hearing what you had to say about my story. You always had questions about this story and my next one; you put your reactions to what I wrote instead of a simple "good chapter. update soon". It was nice. Anyway, you asked if you could use James and Lily's letters as part of a chain letter. I don't mind at all. In fact, I would be honored if you did. (does it seem odd to you that I am honored to have my work considered for a chain letter? it seems kind of odd to me...lol). Anyway, thanks for all the support you ahve given me, and I hope to hear from you again when I start officially posting this next story 

**final an:** ok...tell me what you think, please. If you think its trash, then I won't bother posting it, and I'll come up with something else...but hopefully you all like it. Also, I am still in the process of picking a proper title for this next story...any suggestions will be more than helpful. Look for the offical posting of it sometime in mid-late August.

adios  
Delano


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